My mom says it’s good to have sex before marriage and get tons of experience I don’t think so. I always think the man wins if you give him sex so easily. Sex is way better for a man than a woman imo. What do you think?

morganKxoxo · 2021-01-21T13:58:22+00:00

I think there’s a healthy in between of saving sex for someone you really love and are committed to without waiting until marriage. But the only thing that matters is what do YOU think. That’s great your mom is so open about sex but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. And I personally agree with you that having sex with a bunch of guys isn’t the best path

rosesonthefloor · 2021-01-21T13:39:11+00:00

What do you want? If you don’t want to have sex before marriage, then stick to that. It’s your body, and it’s your choice. You get to decide at what point in a relationship you feel comfortable having sex.

However, sex should be pleasurable and good for both parties. Do not have sex with someone that does not care about your pleasure!

For me, personally, I need to have sex with someone as part of the vetting process to make sure we’re sexually compatible, but I obviously don’t do so right away. Again, it’s entirely up to what you’re comfortable with. Don’t let anyone (including your mom) pressure you into having sex if you don’t want to!

Acrobatic-Stuff · 2021-01-21T15:09:17+00:00

Ideally even the man himself knows he has to strive in order to get you, this not only makes life flourish but it is the proper way it was meant to be. Relationships that dissipate their love in the sexual act so often do not last that long, and it is not only my opinion, chemically and biologically it is how it works, them more sex you have with someone, the more detached you become from him, and specially the man.

It may seem contradictory, specially with society adoctronating us into seeing sex as just a casual meaningless worthless thing to be a part of, and I don't mean to contradict your believes, it is just something I feel in my heart. The sexual energy is sacred, specially when you are in love with someone, both partners should do their best to take it to the highest potential

vintagegirlgame · 2021-01-21T17:27:25+00:00

You can get a lot of experience without sleeping around with a lot of men. If you’re in a long term relationship you’ll get plenty of experience from one man, possibly more bc you’ll start exploring more bc you feel safer with a deeper bond. If you are in love having other LTRs can still be a valuable experience before marriage.

packo33 · 2021-01-21T14:30:11+00:00

Having sex with many partners disables the pair-bonding function of sex.

IMHO this applies the same for both sexes.

For men, a woman with high body count is a huge no-no for a LTR. No amount of media whitewashing could defuse what is deeply ingrained in our genes. I could not say if women's point of view is the same.

And, no. Sex is not better for a man. Not in my experience at least

eazolan · 2021-01-21T13:44:32+00:00

You have to find out if you're sexually compatible at some point.

LouiseConnor · 2021-01-21T14:11:01+00:00

I think anyone can become sexually compatible since it takes years to develop and mature and thriving sex life with someone. So I don’t believe dating time really gives a good picture of what your married sex life will be like.

So many things affect your sex lite from work, stress, health, loss, moving, kids, extended family, that I don’t think it’s possible to avoid issues. Everyone has issues with it for some reason at some point.

xoxobenji · 2021-01-21T15:27:27+00:00

Clearly you haven’t had good sex. But with that being said. You should have sex when you’re ready and with someone that you love and feel connected to. Also don’t use sex as some kind of power trip over your man. Because you will always lose. Sex is about connecting and just a different form of express the love you have for each other.

Freja_Walther · 2021-01-21T13:55:55+00:00

My mom said the same and it made me so annoyed. My mom was very “free” in her sex life as a teen and she have called me wierd for not doing the same.

I have had sex before marriage but I don’t plan to do it again right now atleast. But mainly because I think people should only have sex when they are ready for kids, that’s the most responsible.

Sex should be great for both part but men do value it more in general. I personally think people there “need to know” before is kind of prioriting wrong.

In the end of the day you should do what you think is the best for you. Don’t let your mom get in your head.

Flat_Doughnut · 2021-01-21T14:10:50+00:00

It’s not, it damages women psychologically as birth control was invented yesterday if compared through thousands of years of evolution where women’s mating strategy is to find one male that she sees is the best fit. it also prevents women from pair bonding which leads them to being the initiators of 80% of all divorces

eihpostrophe · 2021-01-25T16:37:51+00:00

I think the most important thing is to follow your own sexual path. It might be totally different from your mothers. And that should be ok. I don't think there's a wrong as long as you're not letting yourself get pushed (either to have more partners or restraining yourself from having them) That said, I do think it's nice your mother is trying to give you some kind of sexual freedom. She at least isn't afraid of her daughter's sexuality.

In my experience libido can change when you get older, and it varies with partners as well. I have always had a high libido, usually higher than my partners. But my first got me a bit disappointed about sex. Not the bonding part, but I didn't really understand why people where so psyched about it. I know now that he was too sensitive and insecure for me. It wasn't until a bit later with someone else, who was more experienced, everything sort of unfolded for me. That became the point of no return for my libido. He taught me much about myself and passed on his experience. So don't write yourself off as being asexual just yet. You're at the beginning of your own journey. Someone might show you what it's all about. Also, what I've seen with female friends is that they seemed to appreciate sex more whilst they themselves matured, got more confident and learned about what they actually liked. Women tend to get more sexually free when they mature imo. This, and hormonal changes, tend to alter libido. Things can change.

I also don't think that sex for a man is better than it is for a woman. They might be driven by sex more, but the pleasure of it is pretty much comparable in my experience.

Having had more partners also didn't stop it from being a part of bonding for me. I still feel how it is a big part of the bonding. The intimacy, the love for each other merging into this physical act is still a very nice process to me. Sex sure helps express the affection we feel for each other, as well as the intimacy of it helps us being affectionate towards each other in other parts of our relationship. It's like a pretty damn good circle. I don't feel like the past experiences we both had stand in the way of that at all.

Own-Grapefruit7309 · 2021-01-21T16:37:53+00:00

I believe it to be a myth or maybe a limiting belief that sex is better for men than women. We are all human beings who enjoy orgasms. Society has made it seem that sex is for men but biologically speaking - we have a clitoris and it’s sole function is for pleasure, explain that! =D

Uniqniqu · 2021-01-21T15:04:49+00:00

In my opinion your mother is right and I’m impressed that you have such a mother. Mine has never been open to discuss such stuff. I believed sex has to wait till marriage. I was fully brainwashed with thoughts similar to yours. But I was wrong. I spent most of my twenties in frustration of having little to no intimacy or if any, it would be covered with guilt.

Sex and assault are two different things. If you’re letting a man use your body, then that’s not sex, that’s assault; but if you mutually agree to have sexual intimacy and respect each other, it’s enjoyable for both genders, not just the man.

I never knew this even after years of getting married, because I had married and autistic psychopath with a ton of sensory issues and sex was fully mechanical and painful. Once I got myself out and started exploring the pleasures out there, I realized how wrong I was the whole time and how sex is great and helps you relax and calm down in so many way.

It’s up to you in the end but don’t be stigmatized about something without trying it first.

2021-01-22T00:41:41+00:00

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LilSicilian69 · 2021-01-24T08:50:54+00:00

Here’s the way I did it when it comes to men and sex anyways (I’d say marriage also but I’m still trying to get my sos to see that asking Me to be his wife forever will be one of the best decisions he will ever make but sadly after the experience he had with his ex wife, I’m not so sure if I’ll ever get him to consider it :( ) but ur mom sounds like she’s giving you that advice from her own perspective on that subject which is fine etc, (or maybe she’s saying what she thinks you want to hear..I’m not sure lol )

But the advice I’d give my daughters (when and if they ever ask for that type of advice) First off I’d say “try to keep your virginity as long as you can , or at least until you have your own life together and you have your life the way you want it, then when u find the right guy (a guy who shows you respect and love and has all the good qualities you deserve) then test him by telling him that you would like to wait til marriage before you give all of yourself to him then if after 4-5 months he’s still with you an loving you/by your side etc then only if deep inside yourself you truly feel like giving yourself to him is the 100% right thing To do then go for it but if waiting til marriage is still what feels right to you then do that instead because if hes still there after 5 months then he loves you and respects you enough to wait for your wedding night.

The point I’m trying to make is ONLY ever do what feels 100% right to you, if something don’t feel 100% right to you then don’t do it because that’s how you end up with regrets ALOT of the time.

The right guy will always be on the same page as you and just being with you will be good enough for him. Granted it would be hard to find a good guy like that but there are still a few in this world and when the time comes you’ll just know/feels it. 👍

Always make decisions based on how you feel about it, matters of the heart and gut feelings are almost always right (like 95% of the time) Also never second guess yourself, if something don’t feel right to you then the best option is don’t do it.

This advice comes from my many many years of experience with men and love and sex and marriage (I knew I shouldn’t of married my ex husband but I second guessed myself and convinced myself that He was the best I could get and I marrying him anyways and I ended up having 15 miserable years of life because of how he treated me etc. Life likes to drop lots of suprises on us so I find that the best way to avoid those kind of suprises is to ALWAYS go with ur first initial instinct in everything you do in life. If you do that then the chances are that life should be kind to you. :)

And sex is better for both men and woman lol but if you want to get technical then I’d say it’s better for woman cause us woman can get off a lot more times during sex than a man can (but age is also a big factor in determining that kind of answer also, so it varies lol)

HeavenlyTrumpets · 2021-01-24T21:26:00+00:00

hmmm. This is hard for me to relate to because my mom was / is so far the opposite direction. When I was 20 and she found out I'd had sex for the first time, it's like she was devastated. Don't take that as talking bad about my mom... she's just seriously a moral pillar type that doesn't seem to exist much today.

Honestly, I think your mom is wrong that its' "good" or necessary at all to get "tons of experience." You can always learn about sex, even if you get married and haven't had sex before... you can learn. It's fine. You DEFINITELY (imo) shouldn't be having sexual experiences just because you think you need to practice.

As far as sex being better for men, I'm not sure I'd say better, but it's definitely different for them. You're right on that the likelihood of a man moving on from you sooner if you give it up fast... is pretty high. That's just the way it is.

Now as far as marriage, no man is going to be more likely to marry you because you have "tons of experience" or give it up fast... just doesn't work that way. I'm not saying women with "tons of experience" don't get married, but that's not a selling point lol.

MissDeAnn · 2021-01-24T23:19:20+00:00

Its good to know how to orgasm before your married ,because most women dont know they all have the ability to Squirt, have clit orgasms,vaginal orgasms,i think thats what she means ,ladies look up the statisfyer pro 2,

moneygang4life · 2021-01-25T12:41:42+00:00

Lots of redpilled men say they’d never marry a non-virgin so if u want a redpilled man then that isnt the way to go id say.

Reading-Next · 2021-01-26T10:44:13+00:00

Why is it "better" for a man? Promiscuity is not a good thing for either.

2021-01-27T03:16:19+00:00

You're right. Mom's wrong, at least about experience.

When you say, "Sex is way better for a man than a woman imo", are you talking about the enjoyment of the act, or that sex without commitment benefits the man more?

If the former, you're quite wrong. If the latter, you're correct, in that men don't tend to emotionally bond with every partner, and women tend to. There's no downside to most men with having unencumbered sex.

Sex isn't something to be "won". It's a gift, and a shared emotional experience, if you do it right.

Sonic_Eclipse · 2021-01-28T21:58:10+00:00

Unless you have proof that Adam and Eve's marriage certificate exists, you should be able to fuck whenever you want. Also marriage is more than just sex (although if the sex is sub-par or non-existance that will cause big problems later on).

2021-02-01T04:07:21+00:00

“Sex is way better for a man then a woman”

I mean, if the man is completely inept in bed then maybe.

A 2 pump chump probably gets a lot more out of sex then his grumbling dissatisfied partner but... that is not representative of what sex is like for many women.

Believe it or not but there is a sizeable population of men who are “adequately sized”, in good shape, and derive pleasure from getting our partners off.

If this negative association has been your experience with sex, you are dating the wrong men.

In fact, whenever I sleep with someone new, I always make a conscious effort to get her to orgasm with oral at least once before the main event, and at least once during the event.

I found that, in doing this, women have wanted to come back for seconds just about every time.

I mean, I feel like it’s almost like a “sex is balanced differently at different skill levels”

If the man is completely sexually inept, it’s far more likely for him to get enjoyment and his partner to get little to nothing.

If the man is extremely sexually proficient, his partner will cum WAY WAY more then he does.

(Assuming heterosexuality )

I have had sex sessions where I was legitimately jealous of female biology and their ability to ride orgasm after orgasm with no sign of stopping.

If you can find a partner or bring you to those heights I’m pretty sure you will change your tune.

So in short, “is sex better for men?”

Yes, if he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

emmalai85 · 2021-01-21T14:29:37+00:00

I kind of agree with your mom. Being safe to have as much sex as I want within my relationship is pretty awesome. I don't know why you think sex is better for a man. Multiple orgasms are amazing and women can do that with a skilled partner, or understanding their own bodies and using toys.

You don't need to have sex before marriage, but sex is very enjoyable for women when done correctly.

CountTheBees · 2021-01-21T20:43:35+00:00

What does your dad think?

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