How Reasonable And Effective Is Cold Approaching?(Pre-Covid)

TemperateSloth · 2021-04-02T23:51:22+00:00

Cold approaching puts you in a horrible position. Total stranger girl, with no clue on her relationship status even, in an uncomfortable environment. It makes no sense to me. If you are so great you could cold approach, why would you even do it? It would be much easier to just make a dating app, where at the very least you’re only proposing women who are single (perhaps) and at least willing.

If you you’re not so great, you’re just harassing women in public. Odds are you’re not if you’re considering using cold calling as a real tactic.

a-difficult-person · 2021-04-03T06:19:14+00:00

P.S. Please don't say online dating because we all know that is a crap-shoot if you are not in the top 20% of men.

But the same concept applies in real life. No random woman wants to be approached by an average-to-ugly stranger, just like they don't want to match with that guy on an app.

The best hope for an unattractive guy is to attend activity-based singles events, like the ones you can find on Events And Adventures or Meetup, which will showcase your personality. You can approach and socialize as much as you like at those.

Assassins-Bleed · 2021-04-03T15:26:48+00:00

Unless you’re in an environment where someone can reasonably expect to be approached - emphasis on reason, like a bar, night club, party or class, it’s energetically wasteful and will hurt any person’s confidence long term.

I’m sure you don’t like getting cold called or have someone come up to your offering to a credit card when shopping. This is no different. Before you walk into their life with a cold approach, someone had an entire life worth of lives experiences. Their headspace could be anywhere, and that’s why it fails so much.

Cold approaching is annoying and most of the time leaves people in conversations they don’t want to be in

mistresswhat · 2021-04-02T23:15:45+00:00

Cold approaching in a bar/club is perfectly fine, as long as you're not pushy about it and back off when the woman is clearly uninterested. That last part is vital and the fact that so many men utterly fail at it explains a lot of the animosity certain women have towards cold approaches.

There are certain places (parks, public transportation, the street) where it's fine at times but creepy late at night with very few people around. Use your judgement.

You'll also do better striking up a conversation rather than just asking someone out immediately. It comes off as "I have decent social skills and we've build some rapport, let's hang out" vs "you're hot and that's literally all I know about you, let's bang."

And LOL if you can't possibly imagine finding a class or groups you might enjoy that women also enjoy. Just LOL.

goochiegg · 2021-04-04T04:29:43+00:00

Very effective if you are good looking, extremely ineffective if you are average looking, potentially a crime if you are below average looking.

IcarusKiki · 2021-04-02T22:11:57+00:00

It’s probably not very effective to get actual dates, but cold approaching does help you get used to rejection and talking to girls. I mean if a man I was attracted to approached me and was smooth about it I would accept but attractive and smooth men aren’t usually the ones asking this question. I would say it works better than OLD if you go for less attractive or mousy girls who are alone, but approaching a hot girl surrounded by her friends isn’t smart.

I think the best strategy is warm approach or social circle game tbh. Get to know her through an activity or something. Or if you’re going to cold approach do it at a nightclub or bar where people are receptive to social engagement

BadAssPrincessA · 2021-04-03T07:55:13+00:00

Never cold approach. Never. Never ever ever ever ever. Never. Do not. don't. just, don't. the only acceptable settings is to have a REASON to talk to said person such as being in a college class together or a hobbies group or online. and even then, one chance. you fuck it up? oh well 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

-TheGreasyPole- · 2021-04-02T22:36:09+00:00

[removed]

Barneysparky · 2021-04-02T22:49:41+00:00

I'm going to use the grocery store as a place because I work in one, but this is true for everywhere you frequent.

Hitting on every woman that you would have sex with, let's say 5%, talking people up in the aisles constantly, doing general pick up stuff will perhaps get you laid once a month by the only woman in town naive enough to fall for pick up crap, or in a manic state.

However just like joining things being a regular at a neighbourhood store that you shop in a few times a week gives you not a social bubble, but a community bubble. Lots of people meet by seeing each other around a few times then striking up a conversation.

I would suggest that you dress decently while doing errands, and if you see a pretty gal a couple of times there is nothing unnatural about striking up a conversation in line. If she's single and interested this is a no-fail.

Grocery stores use to have single nights, not sure if they do anymore. But just like single mingles they are rarely one-night stand opportunities.

AutoModerator · 2021-04-02T20:27:50+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Good-Strong · 2021-04-03T15:24:15+00:00

It only gets creepy if they continue asking questions or trying to make the woman uncomfortable after she has made it clear she isn't interested, or worse- make overtly sexual comments/gestures.

And as for how and where to find girls to date- talking to girls you actually know through school/college/work/hobbies, through mutual friends, messaging girls on social media, talking to girls at clubs/bars/parties or joining a dating website are by and large seen as acceptable ways to approach girls you're interested in.

Coming up to a random stranger in a lonely bus stop- not so much.

iwannabeastonedhippy · 2021-04-04T15:46:12+00:00

What if one cold approaches and they are in the top 20th percentile looks wise? I'm sure the responses will be different.

Sophiatab · 2021-04-05T20:50:28+00:00

I met my late husband through a series of cold approaches. We lived in the same general area, had some similar tastes, and consequentially spent a lot of time standing in the same lines for the movies, for take-out food, groceries, the library, the post office, the dry cleaners, etc. I honestly believe such queues are a great place for men to cold approach as long as they aren't creepy about it (i.e., asking intimate questions within the first minutes) because 1.) many people are looking for conversation to distract them from boredom and 2.) the line itself provides an easy starter for conversation.

emilybrownies · 2021-04-07T05:28:25+00:00

A guy once approached me at the manga section of Barnes and Nobles. He said something like 'hey I read that manga too!'. I was holding a fucking hentai. And it's not just a regular hentai, either. It was some weird zombie bloodplay hentai.

Don't do that.

Title	How Reasonable And Effective Is Cold Approaching?(Pre-Covid)
Author	BlackGriffin_1
Upvotes	7
Comments	52
Date	April 2, 2021 8:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/misuxw/how_reasonable_and_effective_is_cold/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-reasonable-and-effective-is-cold.765545 https://theredarchive.com/post/765545

Comments