How a man treats you at the end of a relationship is who he was all along- no matter what he claims.

If you broke up due to his lies and cheating- and all he does is gaslight and stonewall with zero respect or care for your feelings- that’s who he was all along. He was never going to give you honesty or respect you. He stands there like a grown man pretending he doesn’t have chocolate on his face. He tells you ‘I do not have chocolate on my face you crazy bitch! You have eye problems! You are insecure, jealous and paranoid!!!’.

You aren’t laughing- you are drained by this parasite and feel sheer relief it’s coming to an end. He cannot hide this time - he cannot gaslight or abuse you anymore. All those intimate moments and things he said or did all now seem suss- there was a catch. He was grooming you to feel indebted- so you’d take his abuse. It was a mask- you aren’t missing the real him because he is a lie. He has exposed your body to multiple people you didn’t consent to- that is covert violence. He looks like a coward. A pathetic compulsive liar- with lies frothing out of his pathetic mouth that he cannot keep up with. A childish little boy. He cannot even take responsibility for his actions despite the fact he knows you know beyond reasonable doubt. He will tell you oranges are green if it makes his ego feel better. And he cares more about guarding his ego than giving you the truth or apologising for his disrespect. He’s surging with confidence thinking his actions have no consequences- he might even assume he can try hoover you back at a later date because his arrogance is ignorance. He thinks his silence is power. He is wrong. There’s a reason in all sacred scripts since the dawn of time - a coward is blasted and shamed as a weak traitor and expelled from the group. Biologically speaking- he cannot be trusted at all. He is a dead weight. Lost cause. Nothing turns a woman off faster than a weak man.

He thinks he is strong because he guards his fragile ego with lies. He is not. He is weak and mad that you noticed who he is inside. It all comes down to character and his doesn’t stand to scrutiny. His mask is off now- now you’ve rumbled his ego. He’s who he was all along- who you suspected. All those qualities you liked, he mirrored from you. He stole them. You are in love with yourself. He is a walking parody. That’s all he has- tricks up his sleeve. No substance. Nothing. Stop romanticising what you thought he was- he is not that man. That was lovebombing. More lies. No one who loved or even just cared about or respected you would you treat you that way. Who he is at the end is who he was all along.

You have not lost anything except decades of more bullshit. He will carry on cheating thinking there are no consequences until he collects every STI in the book. Until his hairline starts to disappear. An abusive man is not capable of living up to the romantic monologues he parrots- he is not capable of vulnerability as he sees it as weak....he guards his fragile ego with his life. He is a bottomless pit. You have saved yourself years more humiliation, abuse, anxiety and lies. There was no happiness to seek. Any longer and you would start to look dead in your eyes too- just like your abuser. The longer you stay around toxic men- the more toxic you become, like a rotten apple next to a shiny one.

He might look all cocky and proud of himself- but that man is dead inside. He lives a lie - he lives in a cage he built for himself. He will suffocate in his own self made isolation. He knows nothing of love. Nothing of honesty. Nothing of the relief of taking off his mask. His whole life is a carefully calculated revolving scam- because he knows the real him is repulsive and worthless. He knows nobody loves him for him- they love him for the lies. That’s why he hides.

A HVM on the other hand- he does not seethe with anger at women. He is confident and proud he’s with you. He enjoys your time together, he likes seeing you happy. He enjoys taking off the mask and being himself. He sees vulnerability as relief and strength- he has nothing to hide because it’s not in his nature. Anything nice he does for you he does not hang over your head- he doesn’t lovebomb you with gifts and romantic bravado’s just to use it as a weapon later down the line. He doesn’t do nice things to manipulate you into taking his abuse- like a fake entitled ‘nice guy’ does. He doesn’t feel you ‘owe’ him because he understands it’s coming to an end, a relationship takes 2 people wanting to be together and he respects you had the decency to do it the right way. He knows he’ll find someone else in time. He likes himself and knows whatever happens, there will always be someone to love him for him. He knows of genuine connection.

When you break up- there may be some tears and sadness. But he handles you with care and respect. He is glad he met you and got to spend time with you- you meant a lot to him and you still do by the end. He learned something from that relationship and doesn’t hold hostility within him. He knows there’s no reason to get spiteful when you meant a lot to him- he doesn’t seek to tear you down and make things harder. He savours your memories together, but not in an obsessive way. He wishes you well in life. He does not desperately pick out all your ‘flaws’ in a bid to deflect guilt. He has nothing to be guilty about. He knows when a woman loves- she loves him for him. He is who he was all along. A respectful HVM.