Why do some Men want Sympathy/Pity from Women?

Mondholm · 2021-06-05T14:29:51+00:00

"Many of them specifically do this thing of minimizing my problems "

How would they know about your problems?

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-05T15:12:32+00:00

At a certain level, men are always tempted to want to escape the often cruel realities of female sexual selectivity. They are looking for that pipe dream of a combination of mother's unconditional love with a woman's sexual interest and validation.

Healthy cultures counter this temptation and toughen men up to the reality: these two things virtually never can come together. You gotta compete. You gotta perform. In fact, it's good for you and learn to love it.

But today's culture sends men mixed messages about gender roles and the idea that men can opt out of some traditional requirements. And once they think they can, they still get so little of this type of sympathy from other men, that they really overdo it with women. It's a mess.

skunkbear444 · 2021-06-05T17:39:38+00:00

ITS JUST THAT BAD

datfishd00d · 2021-06-05T15:24:04+00:00

If you are meeting these men online, as in discord or such, they aren't trying to sleep with you. But they could be narcissists trying to suck you in their drama.

Either way, stay away. Don't share too much with them of you see they don't reciprocate.

BarestBranch · 2021-06-05T16:10:23+00:00

Pity is a lot more attainable than desirability in the eyes of many. I don't know why having to work and risk rejection in the pursuit of desirability is so terrible to some men. I'm not being facetious either, I've definitely struggled with that too. Still do, though I think I'm better about it now.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-06-06T04:48:42+00:00

Chris Rock already explained this.

https://youtu.be/jsOnXSuMXfU

AstronautLoveShack · 2021-06-05T15:37:01+00:00

They are preying on your sympathies so you will sleep with them.

Dirty_Purity · 2021-06-05T19:57:47+00:00

Indeed, how dare these weaklings to want compassion. Well, they have to learn it hard way - that men are not allowed to have weaknesses, that they should withstand everything life throws at them like a rock without single complaint.

makinganimerealer · 2021-06-05T16:57:18+00:00

Edit: In my experience, lots of women do not want pity,

Feminism is literally "take so much pity on me for existing that you give me things I didn't and couldn't otherwise earn on my own."

just_a_place · 2021-06-06T04:04:02+00:00

Because they haven't figured out how cringy that is.

I know for a fact women naturally feel some kind of sympathy and pity for men when they perceive our flaws or our downs; but to demand it from them is just plain fucking cringy. It's the equivalent of a grown ass man making a tantrum at walmart like a toddler. It is a very immature cry for attention because these idiots wish to monopolize all eyes on them in order to be catered to. These men believe every woman is their mommy and if they just act helpless enough she will make his wishes come true. Pathetic.

I prefer to show women my strengths, abilities, and talents; she can figure out my weaknesses all on her own - if she can find them. And then whether or not she feels any sympathy at all for me will be my gauge for whether or not I believe she is worth any more of my time because a woman who feels no empathy is not a woman I wish to bother with.

You also have to keep in mind that men in general never receive sympathy past our childhood. So some of these dudes may just be in fact starved of it. This is not to say that they aren't cringy dorks, but since you wish to know why these guys have this thirst to be pitied that could be why. Men receive no sympathy in general. Part of growing up as a man is to grow out of this childish need for pity and sympathy. Some men just never mature, they never become emotionally resilient enough to stand on their own feet that they thirst and crave sympathy and pity for the same reasons that children do. Emotional resilience is a hallmark of masculinity. These guys are simply less masculine than the norm, that is to say, less mature, less grown. They are not psychologically adults yet.

milkyymochii · 2021-06-06T04:12:52+00:00

Because a lot of males are emotionally retarded and need women to play mommy therapist for them. Ghost males that try to unload their emotional trauma/baggage on you (assuming the context isn’t there).

1Here4Bach · 2021-06-05T14:37:44+00:00

A lot of men think their sob stories will make women feel like they need to give them some level of intimacy; whether it be physical or purely emotional. Which is what men are truly searching for when they tell sob stories; it’s not to vent, it’s to be reassured. In essence, they’re searching for any form of validation and an ego stroke from women because their self worth is dependent on the reactions of women. There is a very specific reason why men are less likely to take their sob stories to other men. He needs to be reassured that he is “good and deserving” of feminine love and attention even though he may not be.

AceOfBlacks · 2021-06-05T14:33:52+00:00

Lack of hugs, this one is on you ladies. I want a hug every damn day.

passepar2t · 2021-06-05T14:38:56+00:00

Because the world is awful and many people are just dying inside and many of those aren't strong enough to get a grip on their own damn problems without whining to somebody.

Also, men don't like to whine to other men as much because they think that women are more empathetic and it's more okay to show weakness to them, which is wrong but there it is.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-05T14:44:43+00:00

And I am interested in knowing why?

It's game to lure women into bed ofc. Mostly guys who are into pump & dumps do this. It's a test to see how gullible the woman is. lol if you fall for it.

oh, some married guys do this. "My wife cheated on me, can you sleep with me so I can get back at her?" Yes I have seen guys run this lol.

Another one is: "my ex [his current gf] doesn't love me, feel sorry for me?"

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-06-06T07:59:54+00:00

It may not be about upstaging.

Men don't tend to use each other and society in general for emotional support which is a mix of personal agency, society (both men and women) minimizing mens issues and a lack of men's spaces and support groups.

This means that men typically emotionally unload on their partners. They literally have no other outlets.

Men can help by providing more support to other men. Lots of men take, take, take and don't give anything back. Talking to incels sometimes can often result in a conversation where everything revolves around them all the time.

Women can help by recognizing that men have issues although it's not really on them to fix the problem, just stay out the way and stop making claims like "there's a men's space. It's called society" or turning fathers day into a day to celebrate single mothers. They can also point men towards good men's spaces. I personally use r/bisexualmen and r/menslib.

Sometimes men's and women's groups aren't perfect but I wonder sometimes if perhaps they shouldn't need to be. MGTOW and FDS are useful support groups for the sexes even if they have their issues. If you're entering those spaces as an outsider keep in mind the bad experiences some of the people in those groups have had to go through.

f1vepointoh · 2021-06-05T16:55:49+00:00

Women do not at all understand being a man. You are worthless unless you have a good job and can provide. Women are born with inherent value, they see the world through rose coloured glasses because they are protected and born with value. Men dont gain their value till their 30s. Women wait at the finish line for them. Then we have to cater to women in the eyes of society and put them on pedestals and listen to the feminazi crap day in day out. NOBODY CARES ABOUT MEN nobody not even men lmao

AutoModerator · 2021-06-05T13:51:45+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

137automatons · 2021-06-05T14:36:41+00:00

In many cases, I certainly don't think it's because of the reasons you listed. More than likely they've experienced emotional trauma from women in their past and have not yet completely dealt with it. They might be telling you of their experience in an attempt to gauge whether you are the type of woman to hurt them in a similar way. So rather than pity, could be they're trying to avoid getting hurt again. And I imagine this type of man would be more commonly encountered on dating apps.

Someone still in a great deal of pain will also tend to focus much more on their own problems than another's. Could explain the minimizing of your struggles by these men.

I don't think you should react negatively but just let them go on their way unless you want to be supportive. For some, that's probably all they want/need. I doubt they realize how it's coming off in the first place.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-06-05T14:40:33+00:00

Some do it because they think they will win women doing that, they think they wont appear douchey and emotionally stunted like the men they have heard some women complaining about.

Others just want get victimhood points from everyone, others just want validation, many reasons could be but none of them indicates a healthy mind.

AutoModerator · 2021-06-05T16:15:37+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

BruddaMSK · 2021-06-05T16:57:57+00:00

Because it's sweet.

Hungry-Nebula · 2021-06-05T23:14:00+00:00

You should do some data cataloguing. Note the name, age, race, time of day, and topic of conversation, and see if there is any correlation to who talks about depressing topics. It might be really interesting.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-06T04:53:43+00:00

DARVO

Teflon08191 · 2021-06-06T10:33:30+00:00

This is fascinating to read. Particularly this part:

Many of them specifically do this thing of minimizing my problems to make their problems look bigger and more dramatic.

This is just how you've rationalized your disgust with the prospect of having to reciprocate that which you demand.

roxev · 2021-06-07T23:29:41+00:00

People just want attention. I imagine they are just using a hook to make you feel guilty and listen to some lie that they read on a sub reddit.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-05T15:20:08+00:00

So you’ll fuck them, duh

Title	Why do some Men want Sympathy/Pity from Women?
Author	nibbnib
Upvotes	0
Comments	179
Date	June 5, 2021 1:51 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nsw6vb/why_do_some_men_want_sympathypity_from_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-some-men-want-sympathypity-from-women.780610 https://theredarchive.com/post/780610

Comments