Why do women put down other women for wanting a HVM/provider?

sapc2 · 2021-07-03T17:03:26+00:00

It's extremely annoying and completely counter to their professed ideology. If the idea is to allow women to live the lives we want, that should include women choosing to be housewives, or stay at home moms and seeking men who can provide that lifestyle just as much as it includes women choosing high powered careers.

KombuchaEnema · 2021-07-03T16:55:48+00:00

Two reasons:

Some women expect men to pay for dates and be the breadwinner but those women don’t provide anything in return. My husband’s friend works full-time. His girlfriend works part-time. She still expects her husband to do half of all the household chores. She refuses to get a full-time job and still expects him to be the breadwinner. People tend to criticize women like that, as they should.
Some people genuinely hate SAHP and think both partners should split work/house chores. And they will criticize anyone who pursues a traditional lifestyle because they can’t mind their business.

JustaTcup · 2021-07-03T14:33:22+00:00

I mean most of reddit is pretty blue pill brainwashed so they're going to react the way they've been brainwashed to think. I wouldn't pay it no mind. Just concentrate on what you know to be true and valuable. A lot of how people react on reddit is cultish. It's kind of scary sometimes but they only know what they've been taught. I wouldn't take it personally.

Whisper · 2021-07-03T19:58:50+00:00

When you use the toilet, you don't examine the results. You flush.

Do not waste time examining the motives of people who hate you and hold you in contempt. Exclude them from your life.

sm147 · 2021-07-03T15:24:31+00:00

Probably to look like good people and impress others with how good they think they are as people but also there is hate on housewives with the hype of strong independent woman

SillyRabbitBlue · 2021-07-03T15:16:51+00:00

There was a national wide destruction of the family dynamics in our country that started in the 80's. Pretty much to kick the man out of the home and "help" women become the sole provider in the house. AKA the welfare system. Due to our culture it continued to grown into the "working woman". No, not every woman is on welfare these days. A lot of women are in amazing jobs and can support themselves. I find if you don't agree with these women they think your some bum. Most will keep a man around to say they are in a relationship and have a lot of baggage. Thru generations they have been trained to keep a man in the home as an accessory while they do EVERYTHING. If your not in this mindset than your "lazy."

In general RL, I find a lot of women to be nasty towards other women. We are still stuck in a loop that we are all competing with each other. I also find that men who cannot support a family on thier own earnings are kinda the same way. Also, men who have been raised by mothers who had the mindset that women just have to do it all. They view the housewife as being "unemployed."

This plan has been going on from the 80's and its not going to stop. It was put in place to increase the numbers in the workforce and destroy the American family.

peachycreaam · 2021-07-03T23:11:02+00:00

They’re either pickme-shas who want to show men they are “cool” or blue pill feminists who disagree with traditional family dynamics.

Flharfh1 · 2021-07-04T16:02:46+00:00

I would be careful about conflating "I want a provider" with "men should pay for dates." Many men are more than willing to be the breadwinner in a marriage but would be very hesitant to date a woman who expects them to pay for everything.

PrincessaRusalka · 2021-07-03T18:04:07+00:00

They can’t get a guy to pay for dates, so why should you?

Ivabighairy1 · 2021-07-03T17:59:44+00:00

Crab Bucket Mentality

timissick · 2021-07-03T21:18:30+00:00

Hvf get hvm. Not complicated.

UglyDuffelBag · 2021-07-04T20:56:42+00:00

Probably because bagging a "provider" rarely means you will actually be equal to him. Get everything legally redistributed in half between the two of you- if he doesn't want that, he isn't a provider, he's just keeping you as long as he wants you. I think it isn't about hating on women who want a "provider" and more of being angry about it because that kind of mindset easily gets women in situations where they have no choice but to bear with the financial and other abuse.

But when it comes to who pays for dates I am ready to bang my head against the wall because each side that is passionate about it (men vs women) have such extreme views and are screaming them bloody murder. "Waaah, you wanted equality so pay half!" or "Ahhhh, I pay so much more money to get ready so you should pay for the date!!!!!"
Like. Just find someone compatible? It is a non issue. If you want to go half, find a person who likes to go half. If you like to pay/be payed for, find a person who matches your preference. And it is not a big deal if the person you went out with doesn't match your preference because EVEN IF IT IS A DEAL BREAKER, you do not NEED to go on a second date!!!

And there is also no reason to try and make a sociological study of why women should or shouldn't pay. It's literally subjective. I like when a man pays because it makes me feel like a princess. No more. If he doesn't, it ain't a deal breaker either. But I do prefer it. No biggie. I won't pretend I have a huge ass empowerment/traditionalist reason why I like it. I just do. And sorry, but same goes for women who like to pay half and half. It is just their preference, no matter how they dress it up as "equality" and "not caring about his money". Like lady, you just want everything to be clear cut and that's fine. Equality doesn't give a shit about who pays for dinner. Equality is about more important things.

apewithwifi · 2021-07-05T05:00:56+00:00

I have been on both sides of the coin (stereotypical Independent Woman/Boss Babe turned Traditional Wife) I honestly believe it’s a misconception/outdated notion.

In medieval times there was a power imbalance; women/wives were essentially slaves with no human rights. YES, they suffered and it was unfair. But today’s woman has rights, privileges, options, careers. Today’s wife is thriving in her role, she is not a slave. There is a fair trade off, rights and compensation if divorce should occur. If anything, I find RPW empowering; running a household is akin to running a business and it is much more fulfilling to me. When I was top of the corporate ladder AND trying to run a household, I wasn’t set up for success. It was far too much to do BOTH and so I inevitably failed. Being able to focus on one role is much more fulfilling for me, and my success and happiness at homemaking has had a direct impact on my partner’s happiness; not only does he not have household matters to worry about, he feels like I am much more committed to our family when it is my only focus. He felt like he came second to my career when I was doing both, especially when housework was neglected. We are both happier now we both have our separate roles, working together towards a single goal of family instead of constantly competing over career success. Instead of us both coming home exhausted from work with household matters To deal with, he comes home, all household matters are completed and we have the whole eve To unwind and enjoy each other

turtles_need_hats · 2021-07-03T18:27:06+00:00

I firmly believe this one is because men put women down for them wanting to pay dates, call women gold diggers, etc., and many women try to be "cool" and "low maintenance" by agreeing. It's extremely common in this sub, too, though it appears to often be men coming by to whine about it being unfair that they can have their cake and eat it too while calling it good for women. Too many men commenting in the realm of "let me tell you what good strategy is for women but actually it's me just saying you should do whatever men want even if it's to your detriment" unfortunately.

People can do what they want. I haven't seen much of this hostility in the wild except from angry younger men, but I also don't know many people who want a dynamic where men who provide/pay for dates though. Those who want it haven't been judged in my experience yet though, except the one girl who was just a mooch and deserved the judgment.

dontbotheraskingwhy · 2021-07-03T17:27:19+00:00

About 10% of Americans earn $100k+ annually. We no longer live in a time when a min wage full time job could provide a modest living for a family. The last 4+ generations have grown up with the understanding that 2 incomes are necessary to survive for 90% of america.

One can call it brainwashing, indoctrination, or just facing current reality. Once people have accepted THEIR reality, which shapes their morality, it’s incredibly common to push their moral values unto others. I try not to, but I’m certainly guilty of the same, we all are.

You can’t really change what others think, feel or do. The best you can do is trust in your values (and value!), and seek what you want, and what you believe you deserve. People will continue to try to shove their morality on you, you’re just going to have to be steadfast in your beliefs and wants and value

TheBestRebirth · 2021-07-03T14:38:56+00:00

Why are you so sure that's it's only women who put other women down for that?

2021-07-03T16:10:35+00:00

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Nevermindever · 2021-07-03T18:42:20+00:00

The thing is house work used to be waay more energy/time consuming for woman, so if previously housewive were a significant value and got the proportional respect, today you will not be respected by an average husband for being an average housewife. Thus marriage won't be enjoyable for both. There is no reason for relationships other than making each others life easier, and if you don't then you won't get that thing either.

warmpickles · 2021-07-04T19:51:48+00:00

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aussiedollface2 · 2021-07-08T00:12:16+00:00

I think women should be able to do whatever they want re work/homemaking and that’s what the essentially message behind feminism should be. It’s about women having choices and others respecting that. I have NEVER heard a man say something negative about a woman being a homemaker, it’s is only from other women. Pretty sad tbh.

Title	Why do women put down other women for wanting a HVM/provider?
Author	warmpickles
Upvotes	83
Comments	69
Date	July 3, 2021 2:29 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ocz4er/why_do_women_put_down_other_women_for_wanting_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-do-women-put-down-other-women-for-wanting-a.788589 https://theredarchive.com/post/788589

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