Help me grey rock....

isthereanythingleft · 2021-08-07T16:04:19+00:00

Trick question. The proper response is no response. No question was asked.

playerknowmore · 2021-08-07T15:56:58+00:00

Personally, if I had four months to make a decision I'd wait three months to respond

GrayCalf · 2021-08-07T15:48:01+00:00

"No, as per our agreement I will have them for Christmas."-- if you're not interested in any compromise. You don't need to say anything else about it.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-08-07T19:33:04+00:00

I don't know your situation. My ex-wife has a personality disorder, and part of that is fear of abandonment, so they provoke a reaction to get attention, eventually resulting in getting abandoned, unfortunately.

If my ex said this to me I would assume it was part of that cycle, and she may or may not actually mean it, who knows.

I don't know anything about custody issues so I would be out of line suggesting how to proceed. Good luck man, the struggle is real.

bald_headed_yeti · 2021-08-07T17:59:50+00:00

"Well bless your heart, but no thank you."

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the
California woman started by saying,

"When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart."

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying, "Who
gives a sh*t?" I learned to say, "Well, bless your heart."

BlendedChaos2012 · 2021-08-07T17:55:16+00:00

If you have a court document with the holidays spelled out, send her that with “per the court document” and leave it at that.

CoachBob19 · 2021-08-07T22:05:42+00:00

Agreements are agreements, do not negotiate your kids

DeepEddy-Buzz · 2021-08-08T03:50:19+00:00

“We will continue with our current custody agreement”. Agree to nothing! Give your lawyer a heads up too. That way they’re prepared if she pulls something

bowhunter6 · 2021-08-07T18:34:07+00:00

I mean, what's the harm? As long as she's willing to trade time for time during another holiday, then maybe consider it? Or split the holiday?

I know we are all defensive here against cunty ex-wives, trust me, I am too. But I'm also willing to flex as long as it's fair and I think it could be a good experience for the kids. It's up to you, but I wouldn't automatically start from "no", and maybe negotiate a bit. If it can't be resolved to your liking, then hit her with the "no". Just my 2 cents.

Patriot0811 · 2021-08-08T00:44:57+00:00

I needed to read these responses. Very helpful. Thanks guys

mariedmt · 2021-08-08T01:31:09+00:00

Maybe you can be open to it. It’s okay to change the plans sometimes if the kids benefit.

Tis_Of_Thee · 2021-08-08T01:47:24+00:00

"No".

Done.

Trytosurvive · 2021-08-08T03:51:24+00:00

It really depends what is planned and how amicable you both are. Most agreements I have seen with mates is alternate year with Christmas/Easter with kids. If she has big plans and kids are happy do a swap with Easter/Halloween if you can fit it in with work etc. There are always times when you have to be flexible and take in account what the kids want as long as other parent isn't putting in incentives to choose them etc

symolan · 2021-08-08T07:31:12+00:00

Yes, she didn‘t ask a question as many here rightly say.

Would you consider a swap of another holiday with Christmas?

If yes, „I could imagine to swap“

If not, „I prefer to remain with the agreement“

To me, grey rock doesn‘t mean to show no flexibility re kids, but not to react should she be out to look for strive.

But, as my ex is not one that falls under the total dragon category, but is indeed quite reasonable, I may be naive.

Title	Help me grey rock....
Author	emberlands
Upvotes	19
Comments	24
Date	August 7, 2021 3:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ozvhs6/help_me_grey_rock/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-me-grey-rock.822046 https://theredarchive.com/post/822046

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