Girl says she is on pill and pulls off the condom and says she is pregnant. What would you do in this situation?

HiVidana · 2014-07-06T15:12:48+00:00

Step 1: Get a lawyer. Step 2: Have your lawyer help you instead of reddit.

ConfirmedCynic · 2014-07-06T16:05:39+00:00

If there is going to be a child, get a paternity test to be sure it's even yours.

MassivePenis · 2014-07-06T15:20:07+00:00

DTMFB. WTF did you continue "dating" (fucking) this hot mess when the warning signs were there.

flip69 · 2014-07-06T16:24:04+00:00

I've had women LIE to me regarding their BC status in the past.. even through I believed I could have trusted to tell me the truth... I find out later that they were trying to get pregnant during that time and that their friends that knew all along. They will lie to your face. I've had my condoms pierced through with pushpin holes making all of them useless by a girlfriend and not tell me.

It's a fucked up situation for us to be in. Just having sex does not mean that we want children The courts have the viewpoint that if you engage in sex with someone that you're going to be responsible for any conception... women will lie and deceive men into thinking their on birth control or are sterile and everything is going to be okay. Many think it's a free ride for the next 18 years - "all their friends are having kids -what's wrong with me?". Older women have their clocks ticking and they're insane to get a guy on the hook so that their "friends don't pity them as being childless and therefore not a women". The bottom line is that in our society for women getting pregnant is advantageous as it is disadvantageous for men.

Never trust someone that tries to pull the condom off like this.

• STOP having sex with that person right then and there. • If there's penetration, make them take Plan-B that day vs "chancing it" -INSIST ON IT.

• End all contact afterwards.
You should NEVER give them money and trust anyone to go to the store and get a package of Plan-B or carry out an abortion - you walk them down and watch them do it. This is being supportive and shows you care... it also shows that you are serious about this.. anything else is an excuse to not go through with it. I remember hearing about the girls in high school "suckering guys" into giving them hundreds for an "abortion" that was either not needed or "changing their minds" and keeping the cash to go clothes shopping with. You Take them down to the clinic and walk them through the process. "BE SUPPORTIVE" You're a good, responsible guy.. make her take those pills so you don't have kids until you're ready. That is your line... stick to it!
Get a ruthless lawyer. Follow their advice.
Make things clear that you have ZERO intention to be a father and that you aren't ready for a family or children AND neither is she able to be a mother to two children. She won't be able to support another kid on her own... point out the ideas of a perfect childhood where the parents love each other and how far away this is from that "proper parenting". Argue the negatives of the impact on her life and how unfair it is that the child will not have a father. That two children by two different baby daddies is only going to make those the children worse and make "you appear as a slut that nobody will respect." Bring up and point out all the negatives of her decision and do not let it be "about you". Point out the crime of her producing children that are going to be deprived and the pain of how NOBODY of quality, is going to want to take her in the future with the burden of two children. She might as well start collecting cats with now and be a old spinster. Don't let up.
I need to say this: You're a fucking idiot for not paying $25-$40 and not walking her down to the store and watching her take those plan-b pills. (hand her the water to wash them down with). Your rationale over her getting treated during a "date" & trying to get laid as being a legit argument for her to suddenly pay for a Plan B pack "alone and by herself" is just another sign of your inability to think clearly and it leaves a WIDE open door open in their minds that you "secretly want to have a kid and these are all just hints". You need to make it clear and follow through. She thinks she found a sucker and you're behaving like one.
Don't fuck religious nutjobs... or idiots that fall back on religion when decisions get tough. NEVER STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!! BE extra careful with women that have a kid and are hooking up with guys over the net. That means that anyone that knows them and has had a chance to observe them... doesn't want them, because they know -They need strangers to seduce.

Now that she's says she's all set and that she's perhaps beyond the first trimester (in the USA that legally limits the change of abortion) you're might be kinda stuck. IF there's still time, them this is your life... get her to get an abortion. Be "supportive and tell her you will go down there together" Then FOLLOW THROUGH with it all. Pay for the whole thing - whatever it takes.... be supportive. Children should be planned and brought into this world, from within a loving married relationship that is prepared and ready for them. You two are simply not meeting those requirements.

She's going to be able to get money from you and IF you've told her you wouldn't be involved in her or the life of the child that she decided to have. Then follow through and make sure that she knows it.

Do everything you can to get custody of that child if the DNA test proves paternity. Pull all the tactics that women use on men.... get a restraining order against her for violence and harassment. Threaten her and call the cops on her for everything.. get police records and take them to the judge. I've seen women do this to guys... and it works.

Keep communicating via text until you can get some friends to video tape a meeting in a public place where she'll get violent, make threats. Focus on her current child if there's any abuse or neglect that you've seen... get in touch with the child's biological father and talk to him.

The first step is to not knock them up. The second is to get any conception terminated The third is to get complete custody and child support.

2014-07-06T15:23:56+00:00

Get a lawyer, go to the police and report domestic violence /reproductive abuse and or sexual assault.

circuitology · 2014-07-06T16:42:01+00:00

She continued to have sex with you after you withdrew consent. Report her for sexual assault. (I would say rape but the law where you are likely doesn't allow for this).

If she is harassing you, report her for harassment too. There is reasonable and there is beyond reasonable, you will know whether she has crossed any lines better than we do.

As far as the pregnancy goes, for one thing you should be getting proof that she is in fact pregnant, and if she is, you should be getting a DNA test to show whether or not you are the father. Don't give her anything or agree to/sign anything until you have proof of something at least.

And yes, as always, get yourself a lawyer.

Sheboonery · 2014-07-06T17:14:54+00:00

I doubt she is pregnant and if she really is, I doubt it's yours. It sounds like she is a mental case and probably knew she could get money out of you. You need to get a paternity test since you don't want to be paying child support for a kid that isn't your. It all sounds like she is manipulating you to me and trying to get some sex and money for free.

Edit: Also make sure she is actually pregnant. I really think she is fucking with you. There are some real awful women out there and I mean REALLY awful.

eyenot · 2014-07-06T18:29:18+00:00

So I had sex with this single mom who has a six month old that I met on tinder.

Well there's red flag #1 right there. Single mom who had a kid 6 months ago...So, she's already demonstrated what she'll do when a (presumably) unwanted pregnancy occurs. That right there should have been your cue to say, "Next!". But let's continue.

While we are having sex she is on top of me and pulls of the condom and sticks my dick inside of her I tell her to get off saying I was about to cum but she keeps on riding and says "No baby don't cum." I then yell at her to get off then ejaculate in my hand.

And at this point, you should have left and never spoken to her again. But, you didn't:

Next time we have sex she pulls off the condom again and states that she is on the pill but I still pull out but I get mad at her and won't talk to her she says stop being so weird and that she will take plan b.

Why would she have to take plan b if she's on the pill?

She then contacts a month later me saying that she is pregnant. I freak out and tell her to fuck off but then she says she doesn't want to keep it and needs money for an abortion I send her two checks she cashes one of them then decides that she is keeping the baby.

Another mistake. Don't ever send money. If you're going to pay for an abortion, you personally drive them to the clinic, and pay the clinic. She's probably not even pregnant, but if she is, sending her a check can be seen as acknowledging paternity in the eyes of some family courts. So that was a big mistake.

She tells me that I'm crazy if I think she planned on getting pregnant again since she already has a child.

If she wasn't on birth control, and she pulled off your condom and tried to make you cum inside her, I just don't see how any sane person could see that as not trying to get pregnant.

She told me she cries everyday but won't have an abortion because she prayed about it.

I wonder if she prayed about having sex outside of marriage with some guy she met off Tinder. God OK'd that one, but poo-pooed the abortion, huh?

She says she didn't take plan b because I didn't call her and offer to pay for half of it (wtf she makes 47,000 a year according to her).

So, she couldn't have fronted the cost of the pill herself, and taken it within the requisite 72 hours (or whatever it is), since, you know, time is of the fucking essence, and then asked you to chip in for your half later? She'd really rather raise another child for 18 years than risk half the cost of a plan B pill? I don't buy it.

Bottom line: I doubt she's pregnant, and if she is, I doubt it's yours. Don't send her any more money, and the only further communication you should have with her is to let her know that you'll be demanding a DNA test. And as others have said, lawyer the fuck up.

Oh yeah - one last question. Aside from these two incidents where she removed the condom, when you'd been with her in the past, how did you dispose of your condoms? Flush them? Throw them in the garbage? I think it's pretty rare for women to do this, but I wouldn't put it past this one if she was pulling your condoms off - was she ever alone with one of your used condoms that she could have attempted to use the contents to inseminate herself?

In the future, you may want to make sure you dispose of them in a way that this can't happen - either flush them, or tie them off and take them with you. Or, if you can't/don't want to do that, render them unusable - put bleach or hot sauce in them.

elebrin · 2014-07-06T17:35:08+00:00

So I had sex with this single mom who has a six month old that I met on tinder.

If we are talking about a younger woman who had an oops and decided to keep it, that's a sign of poor decision making skills. Now, two bad decisions (unprotected sex followed by keeping a child she couldn't afford) does not a bad person make but she's made a number of them here, before your second encounter even:

being on Tinder: unless I am mistaken, that's for casual sex with strangers, and it puts your personal info out there to a bunch of random people. Not really that great for your personal safety.
No condom: She doesn't know what horrid infections you have and could give her.
Removing the protection during the act: wow. Just wow. To me, this is saying, "I want your babies and your AIDS, please."

Given all of this, did you REALLY expect her to make good decisions? Everyone's focusing on your stupidity (and you made some poor choices too), but she was equally stupid. She's already shown she doesn't make the right choice all that often.

whatsazipper · 2014-07-07T00:03:05+00:00

So I had sex with this single mom who has a six month old that I met on tinder.

I found your problem.

Timotheusss · 2014-07-06T15:42:39+00:00

Firstly, sue her ass for rape.

Secondly, RUN ONEDUDE34, RUN!

eggoChicken · 2014-07-07T05:57:47+00:00

Nope right the fuck out. Always wear condoms folks. Always. It's not just about pregnancy. You can get cooties too.

Dunder_Chingis · 2014-07-07T12:52:01+00:00

I'll reiterate what others are saying in this thread and tell you to get a lawyer ASAP.

But also, why in the name of all that is Holy did you continue seeing this woman after she PULLED OFF YOUR CONDOM MID-SEX the first time you slept together? You didn't stick your dick in crazy, you stuck your dick in crazy TWICE.

PieMasterBob · 2014-07-06T17:04:09+00:00

If you live in America I suggest Australia Japan or New Zealand

auto_poena · 2014-07-06T16:46:23+00:00

Have you seen any actual proof of pregnancy? No? You just sent her money without verification?

2014-07-06T15:46:25+00:00

You have plenty of shit against her, just get a lawyer ASAP

Morichalion · 2014-07-06T15:52:17+00:00

Get a lawyer. Record any interaction you have with this lady, and keep those records handy. Get a lawyer. Decide as soon as possible if you want to be in the child's life, your actions now might have some effect on that possibility. Get a lawyer. In all aspects of this, expect her to do the "wrong thing" irrespective of you doing the "right thing." Get a lawyer. Be calm. Get a lawyer. Unless you're recording your interaction with her, drop the call. Get a lawyer.

Did I mention get a lawyer?

MRSPArchiver · 2014-07-06T15:07:22+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

MrSoggyNest · 2014-07-06T18:33:46+00:00

Stick your dick in crazy one time--shame on her. Stick your dick in crazy two times--shame on you. Red flags dude. Pay attention to them.

oyohval · 2014-07-06T19:00:17+00:00

You stuck ur dick in crazy when you didn't know and that's cool... The second time however, man there should not have been a second time. I hope this works out for you. As most comments say, lawyer up and get a paternity test....

2014-07-06T19:32:39+00:00

If I'm understanding what happened, I would say you were raped.

I would:

(1) Retain a lawyer.

(2) After talking with your lawyer, if it's legal in your jurisdiction, record her acknowledging the sexual assault.

(3) After talking with your lawyer, report her to police. I would say there is likely a basis for reporting her for sexual assault, but you need to get confirmation of this from your lawyer first, who will go over all the details as they apply to your particular jurisdiction.

(4) If your lawyer recommends it, get a restraining order.

(5) Inform her that you will be suing for sole physical custody of the child (if she really is pregnant and does go through with the pregnancy). This will be a far better situation for you than any other situation you may be considering.

(6) Get a paternity test. If she doesn't know who the dad is, offer her through your lawyer your cooperation for performing a prenatal paternity test. In order to result in pregnancy, it requires A LOT of sperm. Usually, precum contains very little sperm, if any.

(7) You may need to get the father of her older child involved at some point after charges are filed.

(8) After this is all over, don't ever speak to her again.

Remember, if it's legal in your jurisdiction (as your lawyer), always be recording.

2095conash · 2014-07-06T20:45:42+00:00

Well for your situation you should definitely get a lawyer.

If it were me, while I'm a little paranoid, the SECOND she took off the condom and put it back in I'd have done everything in my power to leave and make it clear that we are not having sex without a condom from that point (if I'd even be willing to do that).

The fact that she was so insistent on NOT using a condom would have stuck out to my mind (but again I'm paranoid), then FORCING off the one that was on (and even trying to claim she knows your body better than you after 2 weeks) just sounds to me like she's trying to force a pregnancy between you two. Either she could have had an existing one or could have found some sperm from you and put it in to get newly pregnant, heck she might not even be pregnant in the first place from the sounds of it, bought a positive pregnancy test, fake a miscarriage in a couple of months, bam.

Sounds to me like she's essentially trying to control your life in a way, either use you as a bank account or force you into fatherhood perhaps for her already born child so that she can have a 'proper family' or whatever. Either way, get a lawyer, hopefully those various red flags, the lies and all (heck, under some cases around, I do believe there is legal prescience, at least in some places on 'consent with requirements', in this case you required that sex be with a condom so the second she took off your condom your consent was revoked until one was back on, she forced you to penetrate, thus if that would fly where you're at an argument for rape could be made, while I doubt that you'd want to pursue that immediately, if nothing else it could serve to be a good bargaining chip) will serve you in whatever field this goes to.

Also might be a good idea to talk to, at least briefly, with the people close to you about the situation. Maybe just family if you'd rather not tell them, but there's a chance that people will find out whether you tell them or not, would rather them hear your story than hers, that way you don't lose people important to you.

But those are just my thoughts, I hope that things turn out for the best for you!

under_score16 · 2014-07-06T21:40:40+00:00

If a man poking a hole in a condom counts as sexual assault because it's getting consent on false pretenses - than a woman taking a condom off and lying about birth control absolutely should as well. Those are every bit as much false pretenses for consent.

mheyk · 2014-07-06T22:00:45+00:00

You need Tom leykis

Ma99ie · 2014-07-06T23:41:41+00:00

Things that never happened.

tallwheel · 2014-07-07T01:51:10+00:00

Have you ever noticed that after a guy describes something like this having had to him, we say "Don't stick your dick in crazy", but when something similar happens to a woman we never say, "Don't let crazy stick his dick in you"?

2014-07-07T03:45:11+00:00

Honestly...
In my experience, it's always been a case of do not put fluid A into container B. Pull the fuck out. Colitis interrupus. 97% effective if you do it right.

Now, girl pulls condom off... Why does SHE care? My experience says women can feel a difference but not by much, if any. Nope. Condom stays on, time a get a new one.

Point is, what I would do is not cum inside a girl regardless of if she is on the pill or not. Literally... Do not put fluid A into container B.

I was conceived while my mother had an IUD.

Sucks you are in such a situation. But men have no reproductive rights beyond being carful not to get women pregnant. It's crap.

spacecherub · 2014-07-07T06:01:44+00:00

Why do you keep going back for more?

Modron · 2014-07-07T08:01:24+00:00

If you're sure you ejaculated in your hand, it's unlikely that she's pregnant with your child. She might be pregnant, but if she is, it is most probably by some other guy. Or perhaps she is doing the same thing with a number of guys, just to get "abortion money" from them all. Either way, she sounds batshit crazy, and you need to contact a lawyer. She took the condom off without your consent, which arguably, vitiates your consent to sex (since your agreement to sex was with a condom; not without). That could make her liable for a sexual assault charge, and I would go to the police about that. See you lawyer about setting up an injunction to stop her contacting you. If she has a child and still says it's yours, a paternity test is a MUST.

td9red · 2014-07-08T18:21:50+00:00

Girl says she is on pill and pulls off the condom and says she is pregnant. What would you do in this situation?

Slap myself for going back for seconds...

seriously_trolling · 2014-07-06T17:24:36+00:00

If you didn't cum in her you didn't get her pregnant.

The end. She is lying (most likely) or its not yours.

IONCEWASBANNED · 2014-07-06T18:10:47+00:00

I'm a bit confused. Did you consensually (even if reluctantly) continue having sex w/ her when the condom came off? Definitely lawyer up and get a paternity test.

The right thing to do when you have a kid, even if you aren't on board with the woman's decision, is to be a good parent. The fact that she sounds sketchy or makes an okay salary doesn't change that. (Also, IIRC Plan Be can be a few hundred bucks, and someone's yearly income doesn't mean that such an unexpected expense would be easy to pay. I guess since you guys were sort of dating, it would've been right for you to pay half, but it's ultimately her body, her choice, she probably didn't want to do that any way based on her stealing your $ for an abortion.)

REiterate: get a lawyer. If possible, try to be civil/nice and say something to the effect that you're not comfortable being "all in" until you are sure you are the father.

anobaith · 2014-07-06T18:45:58+00:00

Kill her. People like this need to be exterminated immediately.

I'm joking.

I hope there is a way you can sue her back for something considering the possibility you are in America

thescientist8371 · 2014-07-06T18:50:57+00:00

What would I do? Well, for one, stop dating crazy people.

cameronbryant17 · 2014-07-06T19:02:37+00:00

Stop incriminating your self on the Internet

2014-07-06T20:02:16+00:00

FYI, prenatal paternity tests are available that do not require an invasive procedure. They work by retrieving fetal blood cells from maternal blood -- all it requires is a normal blood draw from the woman's arm.

I can't recommend any specific companies, but below is one. Google it.

http://www.prenatalgeneticscenter.com/services/prenatal-dna-paternity-test/

gsettle · 2014-07-06T20:10:21+00:00

DNA will prove/disprove paternity. If she has the baby, DEMAND a DNA study. Be sure the chain-of-evidence is maintained and the swab that is taken is the swab that is tested. And see a lawyer in any case.

manofsea · 2014-07-06T20:16:57+00:00

Well heres hoping for a miscarriage. If it is born make sure it is yours.

SevanT7 · 2014-07-06T20:27:40+00:00

Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrun

You broke rule #1: Don't stick your dick in crazy

AmbivalentPanda · 2014-07-06T20:32:19+00:00

Its a trap!

2014-07-06T22:24:29+00:00

Don't get into this situation.

2014-07-06T22:49:24+00:00

DNA test. Doesn't sound like you nutted in her. I mean, it's possible, but I would still push for a DNA test.

And see /u/Ithit's advice below.

GerhardtDH · 2014-07-06T23:33:41+00:00

The next time a girl you fucked says she's pregnant and asks for money, tell her to get some medical proof. I think she probably was on the pill and got some easy money from you. Also, don't ever put your dick in her again, she isn't responsible enough for your favorite limb.

Opuz · 2014-07-07T01:32:54+00:00

Abandon ship

MexicanPimp · 2014-07-07T09:44:40+00:00

Sue her maybe?

RockFourFour · 2014-07-07T13:20:12+00:00

While we are having sex she is on top of me and pulls of the condom and sticks my dick inside of her I tell her to get off saying I was about to cum but she keeps on riding and says "No baby don't cum." I then yell at her to get off then ejaculate in my hand.

Congratulations, you have been raped.

Go to the cops. I would be interested to see what transpires.

depaulbluedemon · 2014-07-07T17:23:22+00:00

The first thing you should be worried about is STDs. I trust you will get tested?

Tiyrava · 2014-07-07T19:56:38+00:00

Go to the police about the sexual assaults that happened.

And get ready for a DNA test to verify parentage.

And to echo everyone else--a lawyer.

2014-07-07T20:54:32+00:00

Paternity test, stop giving crazy a second chance. She violated you once, why did you go back again?

Get proof it's your kid first. She might just be using you for money and probably isn't pregnant. Or maybe she is and you're fucked. And would you really want to leave a kid in HER care? Yeah. Urgh. No.

junoguten · 2014-07-09T21:32:27+00:00

Maybe you can refuse to sign a paternity statement and request genetic testing once she sues for child support? By the way you describe her, sounds like a fair chance.

1: Involve yourself or not.

A) If you don't, you very well might have to pay child support for a child you'll never see, and that'll probably hate you anyway, so just as well.

B) If you do, you'll probably still have a kid that's taught to blame you for everything. She might tell the kid you don't pay enough, to ensure the kid has favour with her, she might use it as a sob story to have the kid hate her less for whatever she might do or don't do. She might even wield whether to alienate you and deny you access as a weapon to get you into her life again. With that would come a demand to move in together. I guarantee you this would be your house, not hers, because the one who gets the kid in divorce usually also gets the house. Which brings us to

2: If you do, she might threaten the same, or threaten to find some manner of police trickery to get you thrown out if you don't proceed. By this time, she'd probably also have you neglect all your friends to lessen your options in softening your fall. Be warned here, homeless shelters largely help women and children first. When they say they get 100% off the street in so many months, that really just means they get a certain portion of them off the street a lot faster. So yeah, the choice:

A) You break it off, and she might call the cops on you for something. Or you might just have a very, very hard time getting them thrown out of your house.

B) You do as she says, she will probably quit her job and I mean if she's held paternal alienation over you head so far, I can virtually guarantee you she'll keep using it to prepare the event of a divorce. She'll have a lot more time than you to indulge in it, and she'll be a heroic and oppressed stay at home mum, and if you don't quit yours, you'll be a chauvinist who forced her to quit hers, and if you did, you'll be a deadbeat who promised her 'you got it' so it's your fault she quit hers. So ofc you won't. Which means she has a lot more time to poison their minds than you have to rectifying them. That and what kid doesn't want excuses? I know I used to think mine were way worse than they were, until I got to know my friends' parents..

She might pull a divorce sooner, but the usual timing is whenever they have a boy that starts becoming like their father, starts getting treated like their father, and starts understanding she's been lying all along. So you know, they cut their losses while they're still small, and it won't really show in court yet. And hey, when she does, she'll probably get the house and the car and whatever, and I'm not certain whether you'd have to still pay for the loans on those. Because of her probable lack of a job, alimony, if that applies wherever you live? Which would be a much greater sum than the initial child support, given you are reasonably affluent? Wealthy?

So my point here is she could easily keep pushing you on indefinitely at the threat of losing what you already put your time, care and money into, and you will eventually lose it, and for both time and wealth, you'll lose chances with women who might actually be worth your while. And the time you're buying will probably be very unpleasant. I would cut my losses as fast as possible.

Best of luck. I hope you'll never lose your job and lose everything because your child support sum isn't revised to the fact. Keep your friends close.

anobaith · 2014-07-07T01:10:40+00:00

Don't date single mothers. I never would of been in that situation in the first place.

After the first time she tried to remove the condom it would of been over. Demand a paternity test!

It honestly sounds like she cheated on you, got knocked up by another man that wasn't "daddy material", and is trying to dump it on you.

Also: Get a lawyer!

Poperiarchy · 2014-07-06T15:11:58+00:00

Murder-suicide is your only option. You identified crazy, yet still went back to stick your dick in crazy again. Then gave lying crazy cash money. You earned it.

jpflathead · 2014-07-06T20:47:02+00:00

Step 1. Stop trolling Reddit

2014-07-06T21:11:47+00:00

No offense, but you're an idiot lol.

2014-07-06T18:58:23+00:00

Donkey punch and tell her you'll mess up her face so bad no one will fuck her or hire her ever again if she dares open her yap about it. Or get a vasectomy and never have to worry about that, ever again, like I did.

xNOM · 2014-07-06T17:44:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-07-06T18:09:13+00:00

if you have proof you paid for the abortion and she didn't do it, you can at least be reimburse for that.

As for the rest, unfortunately the law sides with the mother

Title	Girl says she is on pill and pulls off the condom and says she is pregnant. What would you do in this situation?
Author	Onedude34
Upvotes	92
Comments	124
Date	July 6, 2014 3:07 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/29yyrr/girl_says_she_is_on_pill_and_pulls_off_the_condom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/girl-says-she-is-on-pill-and-pulls-off-the-condom.998296 https://theredarchive.com/post/998296

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