65 and seriously contemplating divorce, looking for men similar in age doing the same

WatercressLate662 · 2026-05-07T01:25:19+00:00

I'm your age,65.Your story is so much like mine,The difference is She and I separated after 15 months,We had no children.I haven't figured to this day why we married,I wasn't attracted to her sexually,She already had a 13 year old daughter she had at age 17,Which didn't help things.I wont say she is bad but she and I just weren't compatible.

Dear-Echidna-9568 · 2026-04-03T06:30:52+00:00

My friend is the same age. He did the same thing to his wife. He cheated on her and got caught. She waited a year. He never communicated with her. He had pretty much tried to say that he wanted to stay together, but I have like an open relationship and she wasn’t down. She ended up divorcing him getting her share. I’m now finding out that the only reason she stayed so long was because she’s financially dependent on him because she retired and didn’t make as much as he does. He’s now been single for a year he hasn’t gotten laid yet, but he’s still looking. I am a student student of hairdressing and he came to my school to get a facial and he asked my teacher if there’s anything that could make him look younger 65 is a hard age to find sex for a man if you’re looking for a younger woman a lot of younger women are only looking for you for money because we know that 65-year-old men is like playing pool with a rope. We also know you’re divorced for a reason, even though we don’t disclose that you might want to think twice before you stab someone in the back who loves you and is family. If she always has your back then you’re making a big mistake. You know mating season is over. You’re not breeding how important is Sex? Are you a sex addict? Do you need help?

Content-Law2759 · 2025-12-04T18:03:08+00:00

I feel exactly the same way as you..been married 38 years, should not have married him...the fear is real, tired of begging for marriage counseling which honestly I know will not work..I have been emotionally taking steps..I stopped wearing my ring, going for walks with the dog alone instead of asking him...just little things to emotional detach..

60-DazedandConfused · 2025-11-22T20:51:02+00:00

Don’t do it unless you are willing to be alone for the rest of your life. The single world at 65 is a savage place. Nobody wants a relationship they just want a warm place to lay their heads among other things! I should have stayed in my marriage. It wasn’t heaven but it beat being out here in hell!

picklenuts99 · 2024-10-03T12:57:21+00:00

54 and considering it. Married 32 years but there isn’t much left in our relationship. She cries constantly about the kids being gone and when I try to console her she screams at me that it isn’t about me. She calls me fat, has hit me, emasculates and demeans me every chance she gets, and at no point has a moment of self-reflection. She has never apologized for anything in 35 years of our relationship. I have always had to smooth things over. Me leaving will be devastating to our adult kids, and I am terrified they will take her side, but I want a good next 20 years and I’m not sure if leaving will make it better or worse. I may lose the other people in my life.

i80west · 2024-06-01T13:47:51+00:00

I initiated divorce at 75 after 45 years. Our kids were grown. They had seen other people with divorced parents and kind of knew how to navigate it. Because of the way our state laws were, a 50/50 split was going to happen no matter how amicable or adversarial our relationship was. But everyone will decide for themselves whose fault the divorce is. My ex vowed to disinherit one of our kids. So no one blames me. That said, her family is still her family and not mine. Same thing with mine. That's unavoidable. It sounds like your thinking is just "I'm not happy, she's not happy, this was a mistake." I don't think you can claim the moral high ground on this basis. Maybe you should have done this soon after marrying, but you didn't. You let people build up dependencies on you, bypass other opportunities. To blow it up now looks selfish. I think they'll all blame you and you'll end up losing more than just the spouse.

NoLawfulness8554 · 2024-05-31T18:44:33+00:00

Go for it. Hire an attorney

dnbndnb · 2024-06-01T07:29:26+00:00

Sent you a DM

Initial-Mechanic2885 · 2024-06-01T05:43:19+00:00

I'm (50M) not in your age group but I am in the same predicament. Much slower, I realised that it was not right - maybe 2 years into the marriage. Couple years in, my wife went 180 on my "faith". Everything in the house changed, and I lived with that since.(>15 years)

Unbelievable how you could have put up for over 3 decades. Hope it will be all amicable moving forward.

rickyspanish12345 · 2024-06-01T05:20:38+00:00

YOLO dude

pk2at · 2024-05-31T22:32:03+00:00

Congrats!! You are in a really good spot. After retirement and no kids to support, you can pretty much take your money and live wherever you want to. Let her do the hard work of filing for a default divorce and attempting to collect. You just stay in touch with your daughters, they are old enough to understand

yourcarlosdanger · 2024-06-01T02:15:22+00:00

No woman would let a man who makes more get divorced without getting her coveted child support and alimony. I hate it when men succumb to some sort of misplaced chivalry and let their wives get away with not paying it. She owes it to you by law. By the feminist laws that are there to favor women 90% of the time. You are the rare exception. No reason it cant be amicable just because you are asking for whats fair, and owed to you. That's what she would say if you made more than her.

captainchippsixx · 2024-05-31T21:07:44+00:00

You get the lawyer and line and everything up top to bottom. Even having a plan of where you are going to live. I would get the vehicle you want now. New accounts and passwords.

Then you talk to your wife. You might want to have a sensible kid present. Or if you have a sibling. You have been unhappy for so long. Less is more when telling her.

wisstinks4 · 2024-05-31T21:02:47+00:00

I’ll be the contrarian in this one. Can this marriage be saved with better communication? I want this action from our closeness time together. I dont want your bitchy words in my ear all the time. Is there any way to save it? Could she change.

Whatever you decide to do I hope it works out well for you, actually both of you. Be safe.

Locdawg916 · 2024-05-31T20:35:26+00:00

The “unknown” is better than the “known” which u haven’t been happy for years. I say take the leap into the “unknown.” Be free my man!

Cheap_House8696 · 2024-05-31T19:48:20+00:00

Posts like these give me anxiety so glad I didn't stay and she didn't want to either, I feel like if you're middle class joe schmo and your kids are adults or close to it it won't be that bad. Just gonna split everything 50/50, thank God she works time to get out

MartyMcFly7 · 2024-05-31T19:39:45+00:00

I was about 50 when I got divorced after about 30 years together with 2 children who were almost adults. My ex and I were both very religious when we were married, but I parted ways with that about 15 years into the relationship. After that, we never really saw eye-to-eye and things began to go seriously downhill from there.

I wanted to do things civilly and just split everything 50/50. We hired a mediator and it looked like things were going to be easy, considering our incomes were not that different. During our first meeting, she asked for the moon! She wanted full custody, child support, lifetime alimony, and half of a recent inheritance I'd received. She was being unreasonable, refused to budge, and the mediator recommended she hire an attorney. From there, it only got worse.

We were still living together and she tried to have me evicted on several occasions (all failed). I offered to buy her out of the house so she could buy something else, and she accepted -- and later backed out -- three separate times.

The divorce was dragged out over 2.5 years (2 of which we lived together due to financial issues and our argument over the house). But since your wife earns more than you (and your kids are grown), there may be fewer issues.

It really all comes down to how much she wants to fight you. My divorce didn't have to be complicated, but she made it so, and it cost us a small fortune to settle. I had to fight her attempts to kick me out and spent many hours assembling paperwork and answering hundreds of questions (as if I was trying to hide money). 2.5 years later, she got exactly what I'd offered in the beginning.

Your kids are older, so it sounds like they might have lives of their own soon. One of mine went off to college and the other decided to move to another state with his mother (but the both still come to visit at least twice a year). How your relationship turns out will depend entirely on your relationship with them is now. But the reality is they will have to split your time between the both of you (at best) and you'll see them less. But, they're pretty much grown now anyway, and it's time for them to start their own lives.

No one can promise you things will be better, I just knew I'd be better off alone than with my ex, even if I never met anyone else.

But there's reason to be hopeful. 21% of men 65+ are single compared to 49% of women. That translates to A LOT of very lonely women our age. I'm not tall, rich, or social, but I was snached up TWICE before my divorce was even final! (I'm still with the second one.) I didn't even have a chance to use dating apps, it was like they caught wind of my divorce and sought me out, lol. My ex, on the other hand, has been on the apps but hasn't had a single date.

I swear, the girlfriend I have now is so far out of my league I struggle to comprehend why she's with me. But she says she's lucky and thrilled to have finally found someone decent and she appreciates the hell out of me (which is a nice feeling). As much as going through my divorce sucked, I'm SO MUCH happier now.

Your wife, unfortunately, is likely to remain single like 49% of women her age. If she tries to date, she'll literally be fighting with half of all women her age over the few scraps of men that remain. Of those, most are "single for a reason," or if they're a catch, they're likely dating younger, dating the top 10% of women their age, or only interested in hookups. In other words, things are likely to be much easier for you post-divorce.

EmotionSix · 2024-05-31T19:38:36+00:00

You have adult children but don’t assume a divorce won’t be hard on them. Split holidays, emotional trauma, etc. just bc they’re not children doesn’t mean they can handle it easily, so just a word to still treat them like kids in this situation. Maybe browse a subreddit on adult children of divorce.

AirSailer · 2024-05-31T18:40:46+00:00

No child support, that's a good thing.

Are you able to make enough to provide the type of lifestyle you want to live if you do divorce? She makes more so you can go for alimony from her if you want some help for the first few years. If the income were reversed she would expect it, therefore you should... Now is not the time to give up what is owed just because that's what men are expected to do.

If the question is whether you should, I'm not that much young than you, and given the marriage time and your age your life isn't going to get better with her. She won't magically begin treating you like you need. Be your own advocate, cut her loose, go live your life.

fishingforthought · 2024-05-31T18:35:10+00:00

I did it at age 66 with 39 years, of which the lay 15 or more living and walking on eggshells. It can be done, each person will have different outcomes. Mine she remarried in 18 months. I prefer being single.

21YearsofHell · 2024-05-31T18:25:15+00:00

Pull out the pin, rip off the bandaid, do what you have to do.

Maybe speak to your daughters first, and see what they think. My three daughters support me divorcing their mother, the eldest even said “I wouldn’t want to live with mummy either”.

My son was annoyed with me for not divorcing her a decade earlier, you might be surprised.

Life on the other side is fantastic, and I have no regrets, other than wishing I’d never met her, but then my four wonderful kids wouldn’t exist, so that’s the end of that, they come first.

Divorce is not yet final due to her lies in Court, but whatever, I’m zen at this point, and very happy with my new partner, who I met two years after separation started

Oh, and I’m nearly 60

1antinomy · 2024-06-02T07:53:23+00:00

Honestly, after 35 years— I’d just ride it out & act like she’s not there (if possible)

I’m a bit of a turtle myself, so to make such a big move would be a pain

Title	65 and seriously contemplating divorce, looking for men similar in age doing the same
Author	bthejett
Upvotes	29
Comments	39
Date	May 31, 2024 6:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1d520ze/65_and_seriously_contemplating_divorce_looking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/65-and-seriously-contemplating-divorce-looking-for.1520170 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520170

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