Best case scenario maybe?

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2022-05-08T00:05:09+00:00

Run while you still can. Whatever you do, do not have children with this woman. If you stay with her, you will look back in 10 years with serious regret.

007--Chill · 2022-05-08T00:36:11+00:00

It's not about fast. Clean, no problem. 3yrs, you're lucky, man. Yeah, I can tell you that kind of chick it will get worse.

Character_Hippo90 · 2022-05-07T23:46:17+00:00

Unless you are prepared to be a caregiver at such a young age my advice would be to have her get an exam for possible BP. Otherwise, a divorce beckons.

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2022-05-08T00:17:22+00:00

No kids or pets!! Leave asap. Get a lawyer. Seek multiple consultations. Start grey rocking and hold on tight for the emotions to swing. This is about your happiness and you must put a value on the idea that you are the only one who has to live YOUR LIFE. You will financial be fine. Your well-being is more important at this point, and must be your #1 priority brother. Lawyer, because it's always worth it than going without guidance and legal advice.

James1933-75 · 2022-05-08T01:04:58+00:00

She could be cheating on you. My stbxw always threatened divorce at the times she was cheating. If you own a house together, do not leave until a court order forces you to.

Eve-3 · 2022-05-08T00:13:13+00:00

It depends where you are how fast it can potentially go. Different courts are busier than others. After that it depends on how agreeable the parties are and if they drag it out or not. Contact a lawyer and ask about optimal time frame and what can be done to hurry it along if there are issues.

playerknowmore · 2022-05-08T01:12:50+00:00

Uncontested in New Jersey three to four months. But your wife doesn't seem like the amicable type. I'm almost thirty years older than you. A few years ago my wife started using that threat. As soon as my wife saw the settlement she changed her tune. I'm type of guy that just wants peace so I gave her a chance. To her credit she changed a lot. But to be honest if my eldest didn't get into a very expensive college I probably would be divorced right now.

akihonj · 2022-05-08T06:39:00+00:00

Ok so stop contemplating it, she's abusing you with that threat.

She knows that she doesn't have anything else to use against you so she goes to that because it's every man's nightmare, she wins because she holds that power over you.

She's also a but dumb, as a rule you've not mixed anything so untangling everything will be so much easier. I know that's reductive but it makes zero sense to anybody, a marriage where everything is separate is always easier to go through a divorce.

So what do you do, this is the easy part, accept she's going to be hurt by it, but remind yourself she's making the threats, she's doing it out of malice and you cannot live like this, married to a petulant child, any longer.

You speak to a lawyer, file for divorce and wait for her to get the documents.

Now expect the following when she does get served;

Love bombing, she'll become the best wife ever, she will shower you with love.

Do not fall for this, it's a cheap attempt to win you back and to get you back onto the plantation.

Rage; expect that she will accuse you of cheating, she will become extremely angry, and demand how could you do that to her.

Record every interaction with her, audio and video, Depp/Heard should be show you clearly why.

Depression; she'll crumble, as her power over you is taken away from her and she knows she has nothing and loses a lot more, she thinks right now she will lose nothing but will have a heavy dose of reality.

You are not responsible for her misery, do not become the white light, if you notice she's sliding into a pit simply tell her to get help, you are not responsible for her after you file.

Gxl4 · 2022-05-08T04:46:58+00:00

wife 30 and me 28.

Oh oh… there we go. I feel baby rabies coming up!

I asked her to find a place

She wants you to take control, but instead you let her do the leading.

she told me to pack my bags.

Haha, lol..

Is the house 100% hers? If not, she could fuck off as far as i’m conserned, let me mansplain it to you.

Healthy feminin Wumen like it when a guy leads and isnt a doormat, sets boundries and dont let her cross these boundries. She will however shit test just to make sure you’re “that guy”. Her telling you to pack your bags is a red flag, and a big one too. She doesnt respects you, and knows you probably will follow her orders. Hail to the queen! (Lol..)

Now why anyone on earth would stick with that bullshit after they are made RP aware, is a huge mistery to me aswell.

Set boundries, dont leave the fucking house, dont be a doormat, and if you want, file that divorce.

Edit;

Dont have sex with her going forward, believe me, you dont want a “Wupsie! We’re preggoo daddyy!” When you come home from work. This will forever connect you to her.. yikes!

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-05-08T13:56:01+00:00

> We also dont any kids or pets .

First, stop having sex. The last thing you want is an "oops baby". At 30 she's hit her epiphany phase, and her hind brain knows she needs to get pregnant ASAP if she wants kids.

> She didn’t like the restaurant yet 3 hours before I asked her to find a place of her choice. Did she do it? No.

You don't understand intersexual dynamics. *All* women are this way. It's a shit test. She wants you to lead. She fights with you because she knows if she can walk all over you, then everyone else can too.

You have no entanglements, and trying to repair this relationship after 3 years of failing shit tests ain't worth the effort. She's not one-in-a-million, she's one-of-a-million. Find someone else who is fit, feminine and friendly.

Girl_Dad42 · 2022-05-08T16:17:36+00:00

Run fast. It will never get any better.

Gattsama · 2022-05-08T01:30:18+00:00

No one over the net knows you, her or all your issues. However, if she is truly bringing up divorce every few months that is a CONTROL and ABUSE tactic to get your compliance. Sometimes you just need to be direct and state this clearly to her 'we do not discuss divorce unless you are discussing the termination of this marriage,' and you can work it out.

However, it really doesn't speak well about her that only 3 years in she's doing this.

FastMasterpiece5319 · 2022-05-08T03:23:10+00:00

Run!

TheBatBulge · 2022-05-08T04:25:29+00:00

Yeah that's no bueno dude. My stbx used to do that regularly too. First time she said it, i was upset as I took it seriously. Tenth time, hardly listened because felt it was just a bluff. Twentieth time, I was annoyed because ... you shouldn't use it as a threat.

Anyways, 20 years later and we are separated -- for about 1.5 years now. She still has not initiated the divorce or filed a single document for it.

We had (have?) a really unstable and (often) toxic relationship. I regret letting it go on for so long and now it's so complicated (kids, finances, feelings, etc) that it's become near impossible to figure out.

Feinixaway · 2022-05-08T05:34:59+00:00

My ex would also threaten with divorce until it actually happened. A healthy person doesn't threaten with divorce, period.

I can see that how it can cause a lot of stress for you. Women generally flip flop and change with the wind. We as men are more stoic.

Two years into my marriage we had yet another argument and I just didn't care anymore. After a couple of days of me being cold and withdrawn she asked me if I wanted a divorce. I wish I had to courage to stand up and do it then. I even looked online about the process.

It seems like you're already looking. Once you start, things don't really go back to normal. Whatever you do, don't leave the house. Talk to a lawyer first

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-05-08T11:05:56+00:00

You should give her a taste of her own medicine If she laughs it off then have a serious conversation with her about how the talk about divorce hurts your feelings and you will no longer stand for it If she doesn’t laugh it off, we’ll be ready to sign papers

Mountain_Split_2381 · 2022-05-08T11:33:04+00:00

As per meeting the bar of a bona-fide marriage you guys would fail asap! Is she bipolar? Is she going through a tough time at work? Or perhaps not feeling 100%with you in bed? Does she expose a "whatever" ~ cynical attitude?

I wish you the best, but this is NOT good! Constant div. threats is draining man. No kids? Freak that, but if you love her then go to marriage therapy. To me the D word was frightening and a bit traumatizing. Life is short, stay mentally strong please. God bless you guys!

YeTuMamaTambien · 2022-05-08T13:18:34+00:00

Threatening divorce is emotional terrorism. Get divorced, No kids and you y’all already agree on property split.. go down to the court house and ask for the pro se packet.. may as well pick one up for the misses while you are there. She will think you are so thoughtful if you do. You both fill out the packets and make sure they agree and match. Then go submit them.. usually from filing date you need to wait 1-3 months before a judge will sign the thing.

warrior_up · 2022-05-08T20:10:11+00:00

Divorce threats are an eminent 110% indicator that the relationship has run its course and that she detached from you and the relationship long long ago.

Get it done, you can do it online for free if she’s halfway normal. Spilt everything down the middle and bounce

Professional-Pop898 · 2022-05-08T20:33:11+00:00

Does anyone know if online divorce is legit?

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-09T09:15:42+00:00

The worst thing you can do besides filing divorce against a woman who doesn't want to get divorced, is agree to a divorce she doesn't really want. It seems she's unable to communicate in a non "this is the end of it all" way. That's not healthy. Either get into therapy or get out of the marriage.

Title	Best case scenario maybe?
Author	Professional-Pop898
Upvotes	17
Comments	43
Date	May 7, 2022 11:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ukpabp/best_case_scenario_maybe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/best-case-scenario-maybe.1115099 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115099

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