Custody

Witty_Aardvark4116 · 2025-07-08T21:24:56+00:00

Just make sure you try everything to save it with an open mind first . Didn’t realize how devastating it is for kids after the fact .. wish I would have .. pulled the trigger over lust and regret not trying harder to save it

mpino1234 · 2025-07-07T21:13:11+00:00

Absolutely not. Tell her you want 50/50 and will spend every dime you have fighting to make sure that happens. Do not accept anything less.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2025-07-03T18:28:16+00:00

Id let her know the only way you agree to less then 50/50 is at the end of a trial and stick to that you'll get your 50/50

crashohno · 2025-07-02T03:21:00+00:00

Dad - fight for those kids. “She’s a control freak” Don’t leave those kids with an unaccountable nightmare more than you have to. Don’t let her control anymore. Her opinion about your worth as a father is irrelevant. You hare their dad. You get 50/50. She can’t up and move an hour away - file an injunction. Fight. You have rights, it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t care about them. Stop caring what she thinks. She doesn’t think much of you, don’t give that respect. I believe in you man.

DetroiterInTX · 2025-07-01T22:36:29+00:00

No, don’t take that. We went alternating weeks, with the kids transitioning Friday evening after school. This gave them the weekend to adjust for the next week. That isn’t really relevant for your 1 year old, but for the 5 year old, and you, it helps reestablish the routine.

My understanding is most states have 50-50 as standard. And I cannot imagine you would want to drive an hour away each Wednesday.

Zealousideal_Try_864 · 2025-07-01T21:47:03+00:00

This is not even close to 50/50. Legally it’s 72/28.

Absolutely not. Your children need to see real weekday AND weekend life for both of you.

She doesn’t get to control you any more.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-07-01T21:31:04+00:00

My brother, how the fuck do you agree to this without a lawyer? C'mon man.

Ok-Elephant4746 · 2025-07-01T20:08:30+00:00

It is not 50/50. Stick to your guns and extract 50/50 for yourself and your kids. You’d want to be involved in their academics in the near future and therefore need more school days.

Significant-Bar674 · 2025-07-01T19:58:29+00:00

I ran into a similar problem. Ex moved 1 hour away from me.

50/50 doesn't really work because of school. I can't drive to school and back twice a day 1 hour and neither can she.

So we landed on alternating weekends and for week days she gets the school year and I get the summer.

It landed this way because the schools where she moved are better and I'm supporting my elderly parents whereas her parents help with childcare. So her getting the larger portion seemed better for the kid.

Don't know if you have a similar circumstance but it's where I landed.

Problem with yours is that never having a weekend to yourself might wear after awhile and she might have things she wants the kid for in the weekends (say a zoo trip or a vacation)

soontobesolo · 2025-07-01T19:52:19+00:00

Nope. She's doing this to minimize your custody, which maximizes her child support. It's a cash grab and would get extremely expensive for you. Get a lawyer yesterday. Also read the pinned post on my profile for good strategies. Good luck!

Also, remember, YOU ARE AN EQUAL PARENT. She doesn't get to just declare that the kids now live with her, any more than you do. You need to fight this hard and quickly.

warwww · 2025-07-01T19:42:19+00:00

This is not a good idea. You are being relegated to a weekend parent. No bueno. Most of the joy of raising and day to day interactions will come with them throughout the week.

Why did you let her move so far away with the kids you guys have? You’ve already shot yourself in the foot there.

Her argument is going to be that it is too far to excercise 50/50 custody and that it is even far still to excercise every weekend custody thus leading you down a path of every other weekend and a Wednesday visitation day.

familymanlikesfamily · 2025-07-01T19:40:15+00:00

What do you want and what can you manage?

Some parents cannot manage alternating weeks and naturally have more or less than 50:50.

Personally i know i can and am managing our kids care better than she is. I know my own situation well and know i cannot do less than what im entitled. In our case, I do the day to day and she does weekends.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2025-07-01T19:10:14+00:00

I think you should consult an attorney. At this point she is your adversary and should be treated as such.

You want 50/50, have your attorney force it.

Give her nothing except what the court orders

dharma_van · 2025-07-01T19:05:56+00:00

Hire a lawyer

Title	Custody
Author	ak4721111
Upvotes	13
Comments	39
Date	July 1, 2025 7:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lpa85w/custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/custody.1556108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556108

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