Divorce Effect

PowerfulAccident1234 · 2026-01-16T17:54:11+00:00

I learned more about female psychology. I’m having way better sex and enjoy being chased. I have no debts (zero), I’m at peace to do what I want. It’s amazing

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-16T16:39:05+00:00

The evil tik tok (really only suitable for the under 20’s!!) Divorce Effect Glow Up. How divisory can you get…misandristic to say the least.

Only took me 5 months and lost 6 inches off waist, rebuilt my business that she nearly destroyed, actually this was good as it meant I had on paper only debt at time of split. New property which is much more me, new car faster than the one she drove off in and dating again. This is fun!!! 51 and haven’t felt this good in two decades…

Have to admit I was lucky as it didn’t take me long to realise how narcissistic she was and had to keep busy due to work.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-01-16T15:39:01+00:00

Loss of my family devastated me. Lost my businesses. And most importantly, my time with my daughter. Slept in my car for a month. Broke and “homeless”. On so many pills- 12 to be exact- twice a day! That’s 24 stupid pills daily. Branded crazy….u named it!

Finally,gave her , her $400k (sold business etc) in CASH!

Divorced in 2025….Fast forward, rebuilding myself…..still. Down to 2 pills (my sugar)

No “job” ….but owning 4 properties now. Yes, asset rich,cash poor. Found myself a wonderful,beautiful gf(former beauty queen). And yes, she moved in with me now.

Yes,life is good. Will continue to get better.

Snakepit543210 · 2026-01-16T15:31:55+00:00

First of all, I’m sorry for your situation and what you’re going through. I think it is amazing that you’re willing reach out to this community and put yourself out there.

Going on two years this upcoming April from the divorce date. I completed another bachelors degree and got into my dream school for a masters program, which spring-boarded me into my new career and passion to serve others. I have vastly improved my relationship with my family and closest friends due to hard and honest conversations I was able to have throughout the divorce process. I feel more like myself than ever, and have never felt more authentic, honest, vulnerable and transparent with those closest to me. I have found someone new who is absolutely amazing. I couldn’t have planned for it if I tried. She communicates well, keeps me accountable, and has emotional intelligence/self-awareness—all of the things my ex didn’t. I’ve never connected more authentically with someone in my life. I work-out weekly, make time for myself to be in nature, listen to music/travel/document life, and have overall found a greater balance between work/school/relationships. Looking to secure a new job post graduating, and moving into a new condo in my favorite city!

I have spent time reflecting and working on forgiving my ex for me, and not for her. I haven’t communicated with her a single time since the divorce date almost two years ago. I have actually grown my empathy for people but confidently utilize boundaries when it comes to relationships and what I consider toxic or draining in my life. I’m surrounded by amazing people and opportunities now that feed into my passion for life, and no longer hold any resentment towards the things that were once difficult to control or fully understand. My new relationship gives me so much life and hope. It’s just straight up more honest and real than what I tolerated for so many years after being cheated on multiple times in my marriage.

It’s the best glow up I could have asked for dude. It took a lot of work on myself, and collaboration with a counselor and my closest friends. I didn’t let what happen keep me in a dark place, and I refused to be that guy who stayed mad at the world, expecting the worst to happen, and lose trust completely in women. I got my head and heart straight and I made it through the other side.

My encouragement to you is that you don’t lose hope that your life will get better. Put in the work, strive to stay consistent, and surround yourself with people you can trust. Be yourself, but put in the time to work on you, and what’s best for your situation. Don’t settle for anything less than what gives you the most joy and fulfillment in life. Know there will certainly be bad days, but they don’t last forever. Focus on what you can control, and do your best to reduce any negative influences that get in the way of you succeeding. We will be here if you need anything. Feel free to DM.

Best of luck on this journey.

Rush_PDX · 2026-01-16T15:25:00+00:00

Three years post and I couldn’t be happier. Saw a therapist the first year, moved to the city for a fresh start, hit the gym, quit drinking and got back into playing sports. I feel like I’m in my 20’s again (mid 30’s), I have a great friend group, don’t really have any desire to jump into a relationship as I’m having a blast playing the field. After going through hell with that woman and finding out she was sleeping with her married coworker, I truly feel like I have a new lease on life. There is definitely light at the end of the dark tunnel. Just do the work, put yourself out there, and know it takes time. You’ll get there bro!

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2026-01-16T15:19:33+00:00

My new favorite. Solitude.

I rebuilt everything post divorce, finances and myself (physically and emotionally).

My favorite thing NOW. When I go to our son's sport games or practice and see my ex with her mom, new bf and all her "new" happiness. I sit far away, usually pull out a book to read and smile everytime my son does something good (or bad) on field.

When we were married I never had peace, solitude or confidence (to even sit alone; I would always be worried about what others thought ... about the weird divorced guy sitting by himself.) Seeing all the noise around her and realizing how miserable I was whilst married - makes me so happy. And I love the solitude and confidence I've gained - and no longer care how others view me (positively or negatively).

coryh922 · 2026-01-16T14:59:43+00:00

Lost weight, but the biggest boost was moving out of the deep emotional suppression I was experiencing. Growing and being aware of things in myself versus being in my feminine, plateau like state is a big rebalancing.

Dazzling-Car-2407 · 2026-01-16T14:53:06+00:00

Honestly if you play it right it could be the best thing that ever happened to you. Go ghost mode for a considerable period of time, focus on building incredible discipline. Find your purpose, your character, build your body and your wealth. Do it for yourself not for instagram, her or anyone else. You can never do this married, it’s something you can only do single, and really all men should do before getting married. It will set the rest of your life up.

northdakotact · 2026-01-16T14:24:34+00:00

My ex lost some weight to go get a new husband. Spa few years later she put it all back on and then some. Typical.

UrAristotle · 2026-01-16T14:01:25+00:00

I (56M) lost about 40 pounds and have maintained a solid workout routine. BMI hovers around 25, body fat down to low 20s, 6 inches off my waist. Cholesterol is in the normal range for the first time in my life. Sex drive is what it was in my 20s.

I want to get another 15-20 pounds down, but I feel better in every way.

ExcessivePlumbing · 2026-01-16T13:32:20+00:00

My ex glows up after a divorce. No wonder, she found a new guy half a year before the divorce happened.

On a plus side, I get to play videogames.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2026-01-16T12:51:42+00:00

Short version: peace and quiet and the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want.

No-Addendum-1373 · 2026-01-16T05:55:39+00:00

Got devastated financially. Had debts larger than my annual income. As she was out of the picture, I cleaned my debts in less than a year. I guess my income was not the problem; she was.
In the following year, I built up a wealth so large I don't have to work for the next 4 years if I don't want to. Steadily moving towards financial freedom as my investments make more than my income now.
Built a huge library for PS Games. Never played AC in my life. After divorce, I am now an AC savant. AC Valhalla is my fav (I know the AC community hates that game, I will fight anyone on the subject of Valhalla).
The only reason my eyes teared after divorce was because of blasting laughters accompanied by stomach spasms. During marriage, I cried at least once month in discreet locations like the restroom of my work place.
Started gym and pool. All my chronic pains are gone. I sleep better, crap periodically and most importantly, my morning erections came back.
I could never imagine but divorced, middle aged men are a thing for attractive young women. Despite my tendency to go for older women, I had hook ups with young women to the point of an age gap of 13 years. To this day, I have mixed feelings about this. Regardless, I still got it and it was deffo a confidence boost.
I traveled to 3 new countries including India and UAE. That was a ride. During marriage, all I could visit was her ma.

Glow up is a coping mechanism and it lies. It convinces her that she is doing great because of the fake and alternatively motivated affirmation of social media. If all is well, lady, why do you cry yourself to sleep every night? Why do you feel disgusted after each new hook up? You know why, I know why, all knows why. But eh, keep tricking yourself.

Meanwhile true happiness and peace is sacred and guarded like a treasure from the evil eyes. I speak not much. I don't post shit. I keep everything to myself. Because I want to keep my inner peace guarded from probable intrusion.

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-16T04:33:40+00:00

the "post-divorce glow up" narrative online is mostly women posting their best angles on social media after the honeymoon phase with the new guy kicks in,,,,meanwhile guys are quietly rebuilding from rubble, grinding in silence, and coming out the other side actually stronger instead of just looking better in photos.

The anxiety you're feeling right now is normal......divorce is brutal in the short term, but most guys on the other side say the same thing: "I wish I'd done it sooner." You're not losing your life, you're getting it back. The glow up isn't instant, it's earned over months of showing up, doing the work, and refusing to stay stuck. Start building now......therapy, gym, routines, boundaries.....,and six months from now you'll barely recognize the guy you are today. We've all been where you are, brother. You'll make it through.

Ok_Tea30 · 2026-01-16T04:26:33+00:00

After going through the divorce and all the challenges that came with it, I can finally see the achievements I’ve made. I’ve built a routine that supports my mental and physical health, strengthened my connection with my kids, improved my focus at work, and started pursuing personal goals I had put aside. Each step feels like progress, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I also took a course that helped me during this phase. It focuses on men and fathers rebuilding after separation and divorce. Practical guidance. No fluff. It helped steady my head when anxiety was loud. It might help you too.

This is still hard. But progress is happening, even if it’s slow.

Heyokalol · 2026-01-16T03:52:03+00:00

Went all-in on bodybuilding and consistency
Built a sustainable training + nutrition system instead
Learned to sit with discomfort instead of running from it
Regained emotional self-control and clarity
Quit cigarettes and weed after years of use
Stayed fully involved in my son’s life despite separation
Showed up consistently for appointments, routines, and quality time
Built a stable, present version of myself he can rely on
Repositioned myself clearly as a senior engineer
Modernized my skillset
Took on leadership responsibilities instead of hiding in execution
Stopped underselling myself professionally
Got off unemployment and secured a +20k/year salary increase
Improved grooming, hygiene, and self-respect habits
Built routines that don’t depend on having a partner around

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-01-16T03:46:25+00:00

Divorce difficulty are very situational and depends on different things like financial loss aka asset division, alimony, child support that you will need to pay. If you have kids or not, what your attachment style is and your personality type. The loss of agency and purpose is as real as feeling lost.
I believe that if us men can focus on structure of the basics of life we will be ok in time.
Focus on cooking and eating healthy, maintaining a clean and orderly living place. Exercising, clean up your finances to get ahead. Focus on work and your mental health (journal/meditation/nature walks/reading).
Focus on being a great supportive, loving and caring dad/parent.
Once you have a grip the basics you can start to focus on the icing which is hobbies and interest that make you even more happy.
Doing all these basics helps you maintain order while dealing with the mental gymnastics of the slaughter house that is the family courts during divorce.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-16T03:32:38+00:00

I’m jumping in to wish you good luck! I’m only a few months in the process and still trying to find a good step forward. With 50/50 custody I’m lost half of the week. take care out there!

Virtual_Ad9235 · 2026-01-16T03:23:29+00:00

Hey brother, I wish you all the very best health, happiness and prosperity in your new chapter.

I decided to do the 75 Hard challenge and was able to get through it in one go!

Check out my profile if you’d like to see the experience and the results were fantastic for my mind and body.

I’ve also travelled solo to Paris France and literally just wandered the streets with no aim other than to be with myself, the change of scenery in a beautiful city was really great to experience and doing so on my terms helped me start to rediscover myself again, and a new identity is slowly forging itself.

I’ve also just focused fully on my business and minimized partying and womanizing. I’ve been fortunate enough to get with several women since separating but they were organic and fuelled by mutual attraction, and monogamous each time, with the understanding that I was not seeking out a serious relationship but more so enjoying the company and companionship of a beautiful woman.

I’m feeling strong and confident going into 2026, I’m 47, separated for 6 months now after 9 years of marriage and together for 14 years.

I wish you nothing but the very best of success to you and all of us, we’re brothers in arms emerging into a brave new world. Get what you deserve Gents!

Title	Divorce Effect
Author	EloquentDancing
Upvotes	24
Comments	28
Date	January 15, 2026 11:39 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qdzrip/divorce_effect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-effect.1571239 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571239

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