Getting re-Married advice

NoLawfulness8554 · 2024-04-30T20:01:44+00:00

Prenup or no marriage.

Melodic-Grapefruit-4 · 2024-04-29T02:57:02+00:00

Hell no dude. Did you not learn your lesson the first time my guy?

Academic_Mistake_751 · 2024-04-29T00:24:26+00:00

I will give you my blessing, I would have a pre and post nup if the finances are not equal.

Some guys will scream here, “don’t do it! I think it depends on the woman.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-04-28T19:27:22+00:00

If she is pressuring you, she is not the right one, as simple as that. I would question why she wants you to sign a contract where you most likely are in a weaker position afterwards (and her in a stronger). Did you talk to her about a prenup?

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-28T12:48:38+00:00

I’m lucky to be with her

She's lucky to be with you.

I'm about the same age as you and divorced six years ago. When women ask me what I'm looking for, I respond with "I'm just dating". It sets boundaries, and if she tries to cross that boundary it's "comply or goodbye".

I wrote advice to my sons about marriage. I'll share it here:

Marriage is a good idea; it’s how we execute it today that makes it one of the worst prospects imaginable for men. Marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life – it’s a legal extortion scheme. You’re betting a woman half your net worth that you’ll love each other forever. Marriage is handing a woman an axe, then putting your head on a chopping block in the trust that she won’t cut it off. It’s not reciprocal. The modern state of matrimony has become the legal equivalent of gambling. Getting married is like betting half your stuff she won’t cheat on you. No matter what she contributed, or did not contribute to the marriage, half of your stuff is hers. If you are not married, she has no claim on your assets, nor you on hers. That fact alone makes rejecting marriage the smartest financial move a man can make, and lets you avoid career slavery.

Marriage used to be a business and social partnership for the accumulation and conservation of wealth and the raising of children. Now marriage is the new retirement pension for modern women, rewarding them for breaking a contract. A woman that won’t take your name in a marriage will gladly take your house in a divorce. You can get the same effect of marriage by selling your house, giving all your money away and have someone castrate you. There is no incentive for men to get married. Society has stacked the deck against men in modern marriage. You are allowing the state to decide what happens to your wealth, your freedom, and your access to your children if a marriage doesn’t work out. Statistically marriage has become the worst decision a man can make in his life at present, yet so many men want to believe they won’t be one of those statistics.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-04-28T12:15:30+00:00

If you love her and she wants a ring and a ceremony give it to her. You can do that without a legal contract.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-04-28T11:50:31+00:00

Would you jump out of a parachute with a 25% chance of it opening? No. All relationships start of 'awesome', but you think it's forever. A divorce is a woman's pre nup. And you are not lucky to have her. Women have the same plumbing, and there are millions out there. Thinking like that will have you thinking illogically. Maybe you are the damn prize.

Ask her to name 1 advantage of having the government involved in your relationship. And don't get fooled by the taxes. The benefits are nominal, at best.

I did not want to get married originally, but she bought a ring and proposed to me. I caved, unfortunately. I will never make the same mistake. I felt the pressure to say yes, but i was young and dumb. Why can't you have a long term committed relationship?

I've told this story before, so i'll keep it short. My multi millionaire grandfather got re-married around your age. He had an entire trust fund set up for 'our' side of the family. He passed away a few years ago. She had somehow disolved the entire trust. I got a letter opener as a keepsake, that's it. He had been at a nursing home for weeks before he died, and she never even told us. Her side of the family got the vacation homes, condos, etc. And no, i don't care about the money. We all knew something like this was going to happen. Yeah, what an 'awesome' woman.

TechnicalAd5152 · 2024-04-28T11:04:29+00:00

Men are just dumb creatures aren't we, coin toss odds to faila and we still do it, get divorced and gonna try again

Expensive_Lawyer_779 · 2024-04-28T08:58:24+00:00

You didn't learn your lesson the first time around? You'll be needing my services in the future (read my name).

whoisgodiam · 2024-04-28T08:13:33+00:00

DON’T DO IT

WillyT_21 · 2024-04-28T05:00:33+00:00

Once you leave the plantation YOU NEVER GO BACK!

cowboy-Jim · 2024-04-28T04:43:32+00:00

Congrats! Just make sure you sign both a prenup and postnup. Protect your assets and children’s inheritance.

Gattsama · 2024-04-28T04:16:15+00:00

6 years is a long time, women want the commitment and safety that comes from having the government protect her if you decide to break up with her or she decides to leave.

However, how does marriage benefit you at all?? There is literally zero benefit to marriage for men. Especially at your age (ie no possibility of kids). Understand that the marriage contract is a prenup. It's a legal contract NOT between yourself and your wife. But between you and the state. It's a contract that you agree to empower the state to force your behavior if wither party decides to terminate.

You have to choose to give that power to the state. Women want the contract because now they have the safety and security of big daddy government in case things don't work out.

You are not lucky to have her. There are millions of women out there. There is no shortage of women. Just be open, direct, and honest. Tell her you have no desire or intent to ever be married. Explain what you are willing to do (up to you): cohabitate, exchange rings, joint accounts, medical power of attorney, legal power of attorney, monogamy, have the ceremony / party and exchange vows, etc.

And IF that's not agreeable to her; then let he go. She has the right to make her own choices, and so do you. The goal is to be open and honest with each other about them.

2nd marriages have an even higher failure rate than first marriages.

Your post implies you have fear that not complying with her demands will result in the termination of the relationship. If that happens your attitude needs to be: "Good, this was not a healthy or sustainable relationship. I wish her the best finding what she wants. And if/when I choose, I'll pursue the same." And I know that's scary, but it's the only way to live life.

Be safe out there...

Capable_Luck_2817 · 2024-04-28T03:31:57+00:00

6 months is too soon to consider a marriage under the best of circumstances. Why would she be pressuring you? That’s a huge red flag.

Melikeydrumsticks · 2024-04-28T02:48:17+00:00

Congratulations! You're even dumber than you were the last time you got married! Why in the world would you get married again? Especially at your age! It's not like she can pull the "so we can have kids and be normal" card.

Title	Getting re-Married advice
Author	Upper-Matter-8550
Upvotes	4
Comments	26
Date	April 27, 2024 6:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1celxg1/getting_remarried_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/getting-re-married-advice.1516650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516650

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