Hot Bedroom Toxic Relationship

Electric_Donut_Mouth · 2025-01-28T23:40:30+00:00

This was kind of my situation. It wasn’t as great as when we first started dating, but it was never bad. I would say we averaged 5 times a week and were pretty adventurous. But generally everything else was a fight and walking on egg shells.

Sex is different as a single divorced guys. I’ve had lots of partners and checked almost everything off my bucket list, but it’s less fulfilling knowing that eventually it will lead them to a place I don’t want to go relationship wise removes some of the luster.

I’m good with much less frequency now.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-01-28T20:25:43+00:00

oooh exwife…nearly zero sex most of the time, 24 years worth and she too manipulated finances a few years before divorce. the only great sex we had was swinging with a couple for a few years but she was a pillow princess and pretty starfish. also a BPD candidate.

now current girlfriend…sex is her super power. keeps me in tight. shitty with money but listens to me a little but we have mostly separate money. mostly. great cook, great company, very affectionate, super compatible but i will be on guard for fuckery

AirSailer · 2025-01-28T19:47:21+00:00

Based on your responses to others, I can confidently say that your wife is exactly like my ex. The sex was amazing, almost equal to top-level porn. Except she was a hoarder, and unbelievably bad with any kind of logic/reason when it came to money. My ex kept me living pay-to-paycheck for about a decade. In my case I tolerated it because she was able to hide or redirect to keep me off her case.

All that being said, eventually her other antics when Trump was elected amplified her victim mentality and feminist leanings to the point where she became intolerable. I divorced her, straight up made the decision and told her. That caused a solid 30 months of hell for me. That was a few years ago, I'm so much better now. Miss the sex, but I'm surprisingly OK without it.

Commercial_Music_931 · 2025-01-28T19:23:45+00:00

Ex used to keep my balls empty while simultaneously moving about 700$ a week to a separate account that my dumbass didn't notice. Was making killer money for a few years and didn't even register the money leaving my account each week. By the time the divorce kicked off she had more than enough to go to war with and dammit I'm still paying the price 4ish years later.

Sex is a legitimate tactic they can and will use to manipulate you dude. It's justified in their eyes to win the battle that's coming. They know men are mostly easily controlled by our downstairs.

I'd say just be wary of sudden and drastic bedroom shifts.

BatGuano52 · 2025-01-28T17:03:18+00:00

Sex life varied between meh and awesome depending on her mood.

Bad mood, starfish sex or no sex at all.

Good mood, fun sex.

Great mood (manic), porn star sex.

I'm 99.99% sure she's BPD with a healthy dose of nasty narcissistic traits.

I was with her for 27 years, married for 23.

I had blinders on for the first 12 years, then started to suspect stuff.

Don't beat yourself up for not seeing it.

People with these kinds of problems are professionals at deceiving you - and everybody else around them - and doing whatever they need to do to keep you around.

It's a psychological survival mechanism for them, so they have to be good at it.

Go check out the bpd and npd subs. I had stuck to clinical descriptions of the disorder and it was always "yeah, she kinda does that but I'm not sure".

She's high enough functioning that she comes across as reasonably well adjusted, until she gets very emotionally disregulated.

After I told her I was done and I was divorcing her, the real crazy came out and almost everybody who interacted with her saw it.

Reading descriptions from people who have lived with one of them makes it clear as a bell and after you see the patterns, you can't unsee them.

Beauty2218 · 2025-01-28T16:27:06+00:00

Sounds like borderline personality disorder.

SirLawnsALot · 2025-01-28T15:47:00+00:00

Yep. Gorgeous woman. Lotta great sex even though she was a bit of a pillow princess.

It's how they keep you around..drain your balls then drain your wallet while they lie about everything.

Usernameisguest · 2025-01-28T15:00:30+00:00

At the end of my marriage our sex life was the only good thing about our relationship.

woundedbearman · 2025-01-28T13:21:05+00:00

Yes. Married 22 years. Emotionally distant, high anxiety, closed off, and toxic wife. Fantastic bedroom. Sex is basically the only thing she talks about. Might sound great. But it isn't.

Any-Dare-7261 · 2025-01-28T13:15:38+00:00

Crazy broads are good lays. They are also more problems than they are worth.

Proof-Inevitable5946 · 2025-01-28T12:31:27+00:00

Yes. Married 10 years. Miserable marriage insane sex. She used it to her advantage. Eventually untreated bipolar fueled by adderall caught up to her and she was hospitalized multiple times. Now would rather be manic instead of being treated. Sex isn’t worth it and my girlfriend now is sane and we have great sex life.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2025-01-28T08:59:28+00:00

Read Gatekeepers by Shawn Smith. It’s all about identifying and screening out this woman

Live_Demo · 2025-01-28T07:05:18+00:00

Yep. I was there for 3-6 years. Hyper sexual woman, beautiful face and body. Divorced her because she was a narcissist, could not stop lying to me. Intimacy 3 times a day couldn’t cover up the shit I was put through.

UsefulMasterpiece261 · 2025-01-28T06:21:01+00:00

Yeah.... we had insane sex, but she was super emotionally unstable and constantly had insecurity issues. You realize that while sex is important, it only makes up a fraction of your day to day interactions. If the rest isn't good, then the sex doesn't matter in the end.

DoughnutObjective806 · 2025-01-30T02:26:20+00:00

We had sex the week she left. Longest drought was about 3 weeks. Aka...decent sex throughout.

Soft-Antelope-5947 · 2025-01-31T23:27:32+00:00

not with a wife but with a gf. been there done that

eventually we just couldnt stand each other except when we were having crazy monkey sex

Title	Hot Bedroom Toxic Relationship
Author	Due_Action2458
Upvotes	18
Comments	37
Date	January 28, 2025 6:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ibv62n/hot_bedroom_toxic_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/hot-bedroom-toxic-relationship.1542358 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542358

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