I couldn’t make it to work today

furiousmustache · 2022-11-21T15:59:58+00:00

We've all been there man. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything productive at work from mid-May to the end of June. It was all a blur. It happens.

I'm usually pretty in control, military vet, all that...but I've had my moments too. Driving past a building that she pointed out on the way to our engagement dinner, a song on the radio, going through boxes in my closet, etc...

You're grieving a loss, the loss of your dreams as a couple, a family, and what you worked to build. Its all part of your recovery.

It will get easier.

butchc13901 · 2022-11-21T16:54:42+00:00

All par for the course, my man. It happens, and it’ll happen again. Thousands, probably millions of us have been there. u/furiousmustache already said it all so well. I was with my woman a combined 25 years when it fell apart. When we hit what would have been 25th anniversary, the tsunami of mixed emotions was real.

Reconnect, do therapy, walk- a lot. Read mindless fun books. Use the positive side of this forum. You’ll get there and we’ll get you.

gary_isnot_myname · 2022-11-21T16:15:35+00:00

I've had a few days that I didn't go to work. And that was just a few months ago. Hang on to the things that give power, brother. These are the bad times, but they'll pass.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2022-11-21T17:04:45+00:00

Much love, brother. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt (as have many of us). Between us girls, I had a moment last week and overdid it with the brandy and coke (-a-cola). Those Christian Brothers weren't very Christ-like to my liver and guts.

But I am a crying sobbing mess today, and I don’t know why.

Because this is HARD!! The most traumatic event that most men will experience (and live to tell about it).

Keep swinging. Eventually, it passes and gets fun. I promise!!!

Duchesst · 2022-11-21T16:01:51+00:00

It's okay dude we have all been there. Those who say they haven't are probably lying just as hard to themselves as others. Cry till your eyes hurt and shout into the wind till your voice gives out.

caseyjshu · 2022-11-21T20:59:18+00:00

Excessive drinking helps nothing. Its destructive. Take care of yourself so you can think and act logically. It’s hard at first. Sleepless nights. Weight loss. Can’t focus at work. Go talk to someone - a therapist. It takes time. I was able to take a job transfer and move outta town closer to family. I needed that support. You’re gonna win this, brother.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2022-11-21T17:02:37+00:00

We have indeed all been there. Do not beat yourself up over this. Showing emotion is not a weakness. It means you still care. Hang in there and definitely use the suggestions people have offered here.

SnooDucks2052 · 2022-11-21T19:28:38+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you. You a human not a robot. Take it day by day. You can’t drink your trouble away but things will get better. That’s good you sharing and being present as far as your feelings.

FunkyTownMascot · 2022-11-21T20:31:39+00:00

I think we've all gone through those days. Hopefully your boss is understanding. I had days at work when a load of bad news came in and I got up and just walked out without saying anything to anyone. I had to explain the next day to my boss and he was cool about it. Just told me to communicate next time.

Hang in there. You're dealing with the early phases of grief. It'll get easier.

Eversion28 · 2022-11-21T20:45:43+00:00

Me too, buddy. Me too.

Shitpostradamus · 2022-11-21T21:51:15+00:00

Your time in hell (a hell everyone in this sub has experienced) is molding you into the man of your dreams, as long as you stay the course and work on you.

You’re a fucking king. And sometimes kings hit rock bottom. But they always rise, and that’s what you’re going to do. Cry, weep, depress, whatever you need to do to get that shit out. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and push until you have to cry and weep again. Then do it again. You’ll make it through this. We all have and it gets so much better at the end of it all

captainchippsixx · 2022-11-21T23:25:50+00:00

Grieving is good. Part of what you go through.

FatihKilic · 2022-11-22T03:17:04+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could give you words of wisdom, but I don’t have any. I haven’t cried in four years and I’ve cried everyday the past two months ever since my ex told me she wants a divorce. I used up most my personal and sick days at work. I have no drive to do anything and nothing brings me joy.

I really wish I had words of wisdom for you, but the best I can say is that you are not alone, and it’s okay to cry. You are not less of a man if you cry

axlyyc · 2022-11-22T04:15:59+00:00

I don’t have a lot to say other than hold on to these people right here👆👇. This sub is full of good advise and sincere selfless kind words. Keep coming here to read the good, I do it every time I feel like crap and it’s helped me lots

skittlebrow · 2022-11-22T04:42:56+00:00

It is kind of like the grieving process for most people. Youll feel happy and excited at times, but sometimes these waves will hit you HARD. Be kind to yourself, it is really devastating event for most men.

cedwa · 2022-11-22T12:38:37+00:00

PM me if you need more, but I had to stop drinking due to the depression. I needed to slow it down anyway, but the 2 days after a weekend of heavy drinking have become so rough with depression it’s hard for me to function. I realized I had to stop completely when I decided exactly how I would end my life. My kids deserve better. My wife left in September, it’s time to pick myself up and move on. Best of luck, my man. You deserve to be happy.

potatotornado43 · 2022-11-22T00:25:30+00:00

It’s just so dark, dark dark dark. I’m really leaning on you bros tonight. I’m hoping in a few days I’ll be OK, but I don’t know, I’m hanging in there.

drhagbard_celine · 2022-11-21T19:28:11+00:00

It’s not like the conditions of my divorce are totally horrible. My STBX is being amicable and fair. She’s not doing anything especially mean to me. But this morning, I just couldn’t do it.

Sounds like my divorce. Compared to the stories guys share here mine has been easy AF and at this stage it's something we both want. But even then, there are some days where it's just rough. I used up all my PTO this year for random mental health days. Thankfully the second half of this year has been way better than the first and I'm not as anxiety ridden as I was.

STylerMLmusic · 2022-11-21T19:30:05+00:00

Embrace the crying. I'm proud of you for taking that moment for yourself. It's healthy to get it out when you need it.

That said, even without a hangover, alcohol does weird stuff to your brain when you're riding highs and lows. Stay away from the alcohol until you're in a better space mentally. You can handle alcohol well and still be at the whim of the chemicals in your brain. Good luck on your journey.

Seanw59 · 2022-11-22T00:23:07+00:00

I was like that right after I moved out. Was strong, nice, fair and ready to move on. Once I got where I was moving to, even before I got thru the door that was it. I couldn’t even unload my truck until the next day. It doesn’t get easier with time, but I learned how to adapt to the overwhelming feelings. I sought out a counselor and the release of emotions are normal and healthy. Find somebody you can talk to even if it’s just over the phone.

SweetJ138 · 2022-11-25T01:54:23+00:00

drinking = amplified emotion + attenuated judgement 100% of the time. really think about that combination of things... it can really make for irratic results. also, that combination can stay with you well into the morning after a long night. that breakdown WAS your hangover manifested a different way. i'm speaking from experience, i've been you many times in that situation.

Title	I couldn’t make it to work today
Author	potatotornado43
Upvotes	35
Comments	36
Date	November 21, 2022 3:50 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/z129yg/i_couldnt_make_it_to_work_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-couldnt-make-it-to-work-today.1140722 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140722

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