I’ve spend $8K and just through temp orders….

dnjag01 · 2024-12-21T12:23:20+00:00

I’m terrified to read this.

I’m doing mine pro se… because while switching jobs it’s hard enough to pay the mortgage and bills (which she has stopped paying but yet enjoys this nice heat and water we have in the house lol)

I’m still hoping I can talk her into working things out. I mean we’re civil…even friendly, but we haven’t discussed anything of substance.

The part I know will be war is the dog. She wants the dog and is planning to move back to CA (from GA). I said we should coparent the boy and if one person leaves the state, other person gets dog bc honestly, I don’t want to take her out of the dog’s life.

Somehow it’s her dog even though it’s not my house…. (I made arrangements to get dog through a cousin of a coworker of mine, so then there’s that). Anyway, I mean what’s the worst they can do you for on civil contempt? A month in jail or some shit? I’ll do that for my beast.

He ran away. I don’t swear 🤣

This is all so fucking stupid. And needless really. It would almost be easier if we hated each other

Cheap_House8696 · 2024-12-20T19:47:29+00:00

Do you call your lawyer as much as you post here? Lol lesson 1 of divorce unless it's an absolute emergency don't call your lawyer

PSmurf78 · 2024-12-20T17:10:28+00:00

That feels cheap from my perspective. I was just trying to get through after her affair and what she did to the kids and I. She then figured out she wasn't going to be able to support the life she wanted without my financial support so she went for the jugular once she got her lawyer. Over the course of a year, I ended up spending close to $100k between lawer, mediator, etc..

Puzzleheaded_War922 · 2024-12-20T16:14:11+00:00

I got a consistent $1k to $2k bill each month for 24 months.

My cost was driven by some of the same issues. My ex used the courts to twist the thumb screws. She paid her fees with a loan against her 401k. And ... I mean, frankly, she's about as financially sharp as a bowling ball, an idiot with deep pockets.

All I can say is be prepared to finance it. I almost had to beg for money. I was a month or two away. Then suddenly, she cooperated right before trial. And everything resolved at the 11th hour.

Puzzleheaded_Monk_39 · 2024-12-20T15:55:45+00:00

4k on mediator who she fired. 4k on a financial auditor who has been placed on hold. 15k retainer for my lawyer who charges $500/hr and I’m already down to 9k. Paying 15k for her lawyer fees and her lawyer just emails nonstop to everyone to rack up fees imo and is now asking for another mediator between lawyers which I’ve never heard of when I offered her the fair 50/50 deal and provided all documents

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-20T13:38:28+00:00

Unless you have a complex financial situation (own multiple businesses that need to be sold etc) then you can do all of the paperwork yourself and just pay the filing fees. Your county clark will walk you through everything. A lawyer will not benefit you in anyway unless you earn more per hour than your lawyer.

Unusual_University14 · 2024-12-20T12:51:41+00:00

Divorce was filed early April 2021, temporary orders in late May 2021. Went through about $20,000. It calmed down a little while after that and picked back up. My decree was final June 2022. Final MSA and parenting plan Jan 2024. I've clocked in $90,000 so far (my ex is probably north of $200k, went through 4 lawyers and now pro se). In court mostly every month and probably by summer she is downgraded to supervised visitation for everyone. And I live in a place lawyers charge $250 hr and its about as ugly of a custody fight as it gets.

Ladiesman94952 · 2024-12-20T05:57:03+00:00

Time to open the real wallet then....

BatGuano52 · 2024-12-20T05:13:02+00:00

I'm at $11.6k spent with another $2.4k in retainer. My first attorney was a worthless POS and ate the $3.5k retainer to file and nothing else.

My stbxw was at $16k spent and counting last month, so she's probably over $18k now.

My second attorney just cleared $8.1k spent, I have exclusive use of the house, a custody order, agreement that I'll keep the house and agreement on the cars.

Looks like we're heading to trial for the rest but my stbxw burned through all of the savings she had so I'm going to offer directly (no lawyers involved) her an alimony agreement, agreement on retirements and valuation on the house.

I also paid $5k for a divorce coach, which I consider a great investment at this point. The coach is a paralegal, her late husband was a family law attorney and she's a certified divorce financial analyst, so she has helped me navigate some of this stuff, answers things when I couldn't get ahold of my attorney and she can draw up the QDRO.

She's (coach) is the one who suggested the an alimony buyout, if I can gety stbxw to agree to that, my coach will have paid for herself several times with that alone.

The agreement would not only get us done quicker, if she refuses and we end up going to trial, I'm making it clear to our judge that I'm trying to get this shit done ASAP, which I genuinely want to do.

Our judge wants divorcing couples to get agreements done and get the hell out of his court.

I want her the hell out of my life ASAP, the only tie we'll have left is our son.

Slowloris81 · 2024-12-20T05:05:41+00:00

Over $100K and still going.

warwww · 2024-12-20T04:29:42+00:00

100k + here. All because I dared “fight” for joint custody.

louderthanspeech · 2024-12-20T03:46:53+00:00

I’m at $30k and only have temp orders which honestly need to be modified and are missing a lot of things that matter.

SeaweedWeird7705 · 2024-12-20T03:20:15+00:00

Some people have posted here about spending $50-100k+. If there is any reasonable compromise you can make, you should consider it.

New_Kangaroo9490 · 2024-12-20T03:01:11+00:00

Sounds right I am in Texas and I am just past discovery not even starting mediation and I am down 19K. Just me.

lonelySoulThrowAway · 2024-12-20T02:37:51+00:00

marriage is a costly business !! for men

EvalCrux · 2024-12-20T02:37:25+00:00

Go watch ‘divorce corp’ and it’ll make sense.

EvalCrux · 2024-12-20T02:36:41+00:00

My lawyer wouldn’t get started before $7500 retainer. 4 refills later, burn rate is about half that per month.

Also criminal charges - thrown out, PO consented to pre criminal trial, followed by divorce complaint. Etc tally ho

Title	I’ve spend $8K and just through temp orders….
Author	LionAR1999
Upvotes	12
Comments	27
Date	December 20, 2024 2:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hi9qz9/ive_spend_8k_and_just_through_temp_orders/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ive-spend-8k-and-just-through-temp-orders.1539021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539021

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