Just passed two years since the official divorce date. She pushed it all through in three months. She dropped me off at the airport, kissed me goodbye, told me she loved me, and then left forever. A vague note on the counter and she was gone. She cut off her friends and family and honestly that helped me heal a lot. But it looks like some of those relationships have started to repair and although i’m happy for her, it also makes me sad. I miss my in-laws. They were super kind to me during it all, but that’s their blood. I wouldn’t want to interfere with that. I just miss when they were my family too. I miss her. She is still the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen. I apologized for whatever I had done, I begged, I asked for clarity. She gave me none. It feels like this version of her killed the woman I loved so much.

I’ve met a new girl and she’s great. Loves me in all the ways I thought i’d never be loved. I want to be good for her. I want to be unburdened by all that I went through. I’ve been in heavy therapy since I came home and my ex wife was gone. I just don’t want to carry this weight any more. It’s hard. It sucks. I wish I had a time machine to go back and figure out what happened and stop it all.