New relationship while still married success stories?

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-02-22T00:52:02+00:00

Just don’t get married again.

These_Row6066 · 2023-02-21T23:24:19+00:00

Idk, very rarely if any.

I guess the main question most of us here would ask, is why tf anyone would want to just jump right into another long term relationship during/soon after a divorce.

Take time to figure yourself out, so that if/when a long term relationship is an option, you don't find yourself in the same shitshow that ruined your last one.

Glassguyusa · 2023-02-22T00:02:03+00:00

Proof guys are just romantic idiots

CaliDude75 · 2023-02-21T23:56:17+00:00

I dated a little while I was still technically married. None of them were particularly successful, and I kind of felt subtly judged for my situation. Now that I’m (statutorily) divorced, it’s less of an issue.

I’d say just take things easy, hold relationships loosely if and until there’s mutual agreement on the arrangement (whatever it is).

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-02-22T06:28:18+00:00

To my surprise about 6 months into the divorce a new women did come into my life. She was leery at first given the state of my divorce which took years to settle.

But it was a good thing. We were both in our 40s which made us much more wiser in our selections of mates than we had in our youth.

Most people advise to wait at least a year after the divorce to even start dating. I can see value in that because you don’t want to get in a rebound relationship.

It worked out for us. We did not rush into anything and just enjoyed each other’s company. The love of a good woman is a treasure to have and I am glad that I keep this treasure in my life.

rsmiley77 · 2023-02-22T14:08:44+00:00

I guess I am a success story. I mean technically ask me in another fifteen to twenty years right? Not married, but met a woman who owns her own house and has her own life. I had moved for work so didn't have any built-in friends where I am at. Was doing the friends-with-benefits things and that life wasn't too bad. Met her though and knew that I was just going to enjoy the ride as long as possible since I wasn't going to ever be with someone that gorgeous ever again. She proved to be an interesting person on top of looks. Pleasant surprise...

I had two rules when it came to post-divorce dating. 1) no serious relationship while divorce proceedings were going on and 2) No marriage until my divorce payments were paid off. I am still with the woman who I met just 2.5 months after my divorce was filed. We do not live together. That may change at some point... I generally stay over at her place anywhere from 4-5 days a month.

I don't really know what the future is going to look like. I enjoy waking up next to her... but I also enjoy waking up in an empty and quiet house. Am I a success story? Maybe. What is success? Just live your life while protecting yourself as much as possible. YOLO. I'd say this if this person you've met is a clinger already and wants ALL your time.... RUN!!!

tweetybird04 · 2023-02-22T07:22:37+00:00

23 F here :) I met my husband while he was separated with his ex. It was an absolutely nasty divorce and there are still a lot of problems today, but we made it through.

We met in 2019 and we were just married in September. Just gotta find your person!

CrazySanta7 · 2023-02-22T12:07:57+00:00

Every woman is a keeper in the beginning, but yet here we all are in the divorce sub. I'm no marriage, no long-term relationships, and no co-habitation. Other than that, relationships are fun. I get it. It's not for everyone. I'm not risking my finances at my age (40's). I just don't think i am built for long-term relationships. I'm set in my ways, like my freedom, and don't need the government involved. Good luck!

gnackered · 2023-02-22T13:43:55+00:00

A friend of mine's parents were both married when they met, started affairs, got divorced, married and went maybe 40 years until her Dad passed.

Certainly happens.

GarlicResponsible621 · 2023-02-22T18:18:06+00:00

The thing you have to ask yourself is what kind of woman would gleefully jump into a relationship with a man who is still legally married. The answer here is not that favorable to you. A really good woman would demand her soon to be boyfriend at least be legally divorced before dating.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-02-22T18:42:17+00:00

This is the best advice I've come across about dating during and after divorce: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=81647

sancerre1985 · 2023-02-22T19:08:09+00:00

I will meet that criteria! My ex started the divorce after cheating for at least 8 months and wanted to be with the man of her dream. Going to skip a lot of things but she made the divorce hell because probably 6 weeks after she started the divorce her new super duper man dumped her; she tried to come back and told me she made a mistake but clearly I saw how nasty she was so I said NO and continue the process.

Fast forward 4 months later when finally I moved out of our home and started to rent a 1 bedroom apartment. Life finally was better since I didn’t have to deal with her insanity and nastiness. Around that time my best friend who went through a similar divorce 10 years ago told me to signup for some online dating. I did it but wasn’t really active at first. Finally when I moved out, started to be more active and had a first date with a woman but there was no spark at all (nothing happened: just a nice dinner). A couple days after that I decided to message a woman 12 years younger than me, and absolutely beautiful in her pictures. To my surprise she replied and we did chat like that for a week when she finally suggested that maybe we should speak on the phone a few days later. That evening when I called her I was expecting us to talk for 5 min maximum, but we ended speaking for almost 2 hours non stop. At the end we agreed that we should meet and enjoy a dinner the following week.

That evening came and it is burned in my memory: not only was she beautiful but in fact totally gorgeous (I know sounds crazy but you should see people around her especially in clothes shop : they ask her so many times if she is a model). And on top of that she has a brain and she is extremely intelligent: I am still wondering how I did end up meeting her. We had a great dinner and we could both feel the spark. She asked me many questions about my divorce, and was okay with my answers: i didn’t lie or embellished anything. We ended up the date with me driving her back to her home: no kiss, and just a good night and agreed that we should talk the following day about our evening. When she left and I was driving home I was still amazed about what happened; I skipped a lot of details for the dinner and the walk we had afterwards but we did hold hands and the music she played in my car was clear she likes me

Anyway fast forward 11 months later : my divorce was ending, and my -now- girlfriend was extremely supportive all along the crazy sh*t my ex did. After 11 months, the judge did sign the divorce paperwork and the following day I did propose to my girlfriend since we flew to Paris to celebrate our birthday (just a few days apart). She said yes.

Fast forward to now and I am now a Dad of a beautiful baby boy (my ex couldn’t have kids and anyway didn’t want, while I was hoping to have some at one point). My wife is absolutely amazing and it is incredible how much my life had changed since the divorce started. My ex in fact gave me the best gift ever by filing for divorce.

So that is my story: so yes it is possible, but I do believe I am a rare case! Good luck!

derelictherds · 2023-02-23T16:09:03+00:00

Did you marry your stbx even though you knew she wasn't a keeper? In general, dating while divorcing is bad for business. It's an unnecessary distraction with possible legal ramifications. Surely your attorney has mentioned this.

Title	New relationship while still married success stories?
Author	These_Row6066
Upvotes	3
Comments	37
Date	February 21, 2023 11:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/118i1uu/new_relationship_while_still_married_success/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/new-relationship-while-still-married-success.1153816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153816

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