My wife and I were together for about 8 years and have children together. Last October, she told me she wanted a divorce. From my perspective, it felt like it came out of nowhere because I thought things were doing okay, but she had apparently been unhappy for quite a while and didn’t know how to tell me.
We have continued living together since then because of finances and life circumstances, and we’ve actually remained very close friends. The plan is for her to move out in July. We still spend time together, play games together, help raise the kids, and support each other through difficult situations. That closeness has made the divorce harder for me because part of me still feels connected to the relationship we had.
One of the most painful parts has been learning that she developed an emotional connection with and later slept with a coworker while we were separated. I understand we’re divorcing and she has the right to make her own choices, but emotionally it was devastating for me, especially because I still loved her and because there was dishonesty surrounding it at first.
She has told me she cares about me, wants to remain friends, and wants us to continue being part of each other’s lives, but she’s also been clear that she needs independence and wants to find herself outside of our marriage. I’m trying to respect that while also grieving the loss of the future I thought we were going to have.
Right now, I’m struggling with loneliness, fear of the upcoming move-out, and the reality of rebuilding my life after the end of a relationship that was a huge part of my identity for nearly a decade and I love her SO damn much!