Out with another guy

mdh5326 · 2026-04-29T16:29:13+00:00

When enough time has passed, you could literally watch her get banged out by another dude and not be affected.

Don’t look at anything she’s doing. It’ll pass. But if you keep watching you’ll extend the timeline indefinitely.

Suspicious_Reader-0 · 2026-04-27T11:09:27+00:00

Sounds like you’re lonely. It’s reasonable to feel this way…. and it’s reasonable that you think it’s based on her but it’s probably just based on you wanting something similar.

bk2747 · 2026-04-27T08:12:37+00:00

Youre still in love and you haven’t moved on emotionally.

See, I hate my ex wife and I do mean I HATE her, I don’t even know if she’s in another relationship nor has our son indicated to me that he’s been around another man besides the men in her family.

She’s blocked on everything except the phone and the only communication we have is about our son, besides that we don’t talk. I haven’t even wished her a happy birthday since the divorce. We’re not friends and we have no relationship, that’s how I moved on. She means nothing to me so I couldn’t care less if she was out on a date. And as I type this message, my girlfriend is in the other room sleeping 😜

Heal & move forward, it’s all you can do. Go hermit crab for a year, get in the best shape of your life, clean up any consumer debt (if you have any), find a hobby (Jiu Jitsu) and get your life rolling again.

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-04-26T22:33:02+00:00

Just let her move on. Let her be happy, stop worrying about her, she doesn’t care about you.

Let her go and try to make yourself happy. I know it’s hard but it’s the only way forward and ultimately if you weren’t happy together you both deserve to be

UrAristotle · 2026-04-26T15:48:22+00:00

Take some deep breaths

Remind yourself that she is no longer your concern. As long as your kids are safe, that’s all that matters. (That is definitely a bigger concern for us given that our exes are bringing men into their homes with our children, but that’s a different conversation.)

Do whatever you have to to feel good about yourself and what is going on for you. Workout regularly. Get laid or don’t get laid. Go on a date. Rekindle a hobby.

It’s not easy to adjust, but you do, eventually.

Terrible-Mind2633 · 2026-04-26T13:55:31+00:00

There’s different mental layers to this; your consciously over her as in you understand the situation logically and what’s reasonably expected to happen. But there’s some subconscious emotional connections to this woman you made when you were with her that run deep especially if you two made offspring together. These are almost primitive knee jerk responses to see another man move in on what was once your territory and you’re gonna feel some sort of way about it; it simply goes against our instincts. There’s really nothing you can do unless you’re attempting to get back together which is a different story, but if thats not the case then I would just accept the uncomfortable reality and at the very least hope who ever she brings into her life is reasonable decent to my kids and their mother.

CART_Mechanic · 2026-04-26T07:21:31+00:00

There isn't an "easy" answer to this. However, I'm now 6 years out from our split, and can honestly tell you, you'll get to the point where you don't care. It will happen, it just takes time.

The first days of the split were awful, I couldn't see surviving. I couldn't stand the fact that she was sleeping with the neighbor, yeah the neighbor. But now, she's done the same things to him that she did to me. She's cheated on him, made false accusations of DV, and is living in his house while he's got a restraining order against him. She's a piece of work, and not my problem anymore. Two of my 3 kids live with her (18 and 23) one lives with me since the ex kicked her out 2 years after the split. Life goes on and you'll get through this.

Reflog1791 · 2026-04-26T00:39:47+00:00

You should get a wise male counselor instead.

KSWind17 · 2026-04-26T00:37:24+00:00

There is literally nothing you can do to turn back time. It wasn't meant to be. You're so focused on this door that you're missing the other doors in your life being opened. If there's an issue in life that you can do nothing about, it ain't worth worrying about. It'll give ya something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. She likely isn't thinking of you. Don't let her live rent free in your head bud.

BlaqueBoye · 2026-04-25T23:40:33+00:00

First step is to breathe bro. You knew this would happen eventually, don't try to numb it, just feel and breathe my friend

Ecstatic-Eye-5766 · 2026-04-25T23:07:15+00:00

Brother, being there. All I’m gonna say is this… it will pass. Be patient, get your mind distracted ( or course, maybe gym, jiu jitsu..) do something and stop thinking about it I was in your position before and looking back I felt like an idiot just to think how I felt. You will be fine.

DarthDad25 · 2026-04-25T22:43:23+00:00

Yea. It stings. That means you care(d). It’s natural. But what she’s doing isn’t worth your emotional energy anymore man! Focus on what you’re doing. It’s very typical for ladies to move on lickity-split. She is filling a void space. You’re sitting in the void. Short term looks like she is “winning” but you’re in it for the long haul. The long game always wins!

You aren’t looking to fill your glass with something new. You’re filling your glass on your own and that’s long term stability!

KingJon85 · 2026-04-25T22:15:24+00:00

It's just going to hurt for a bit. When I found out about my ex's boyfriend, it was like a stab to the chest but it also cauterized the wound.

I feel it was the nudge that I needed to realize that it was done for good, and i was able to mentally move on.

curtdogg47 · 2026-04-25T22:15:10+00:00

I saw this meme that said. If you are having a hard time, just remember there is someone out there meeting your ex and thinking they found some special!

I kept it on my phone because it always made me laugh and helped me through those tough moments., To remember I am so much better off without her in my life.

Zenyquyen · 2026-04-25T22:01:24+00:00

She's pouring shots of poison at the bar , she don't care who drinks them , you're finding a nice stool and drinking 'em one at a time. This is not helping you. Stand up and get the fuck out that bar man. There's better places serving cake and punch , full buffet , you just gotta go .

ComfortablyAlive · 2026-04-25T21:07:48+00:00

If you’re divorced, move on brother. Try watching your wife of 20 years leave every other week with her boss to the beach and then come back home while we still have 3 months to go before a hearing and then we can talk. After the hearing and it’s official, it’s game on for me but at least I know I’m the one with ethics and integrity.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-04-25T21:02:53+00:00

Listen mate, I found butt plugs in my ex’s drawer when we were still cohabiting

And I can ensure you that I had never used them with her

That one was a blow lol

But I got over it

Just like you will with this wee setback

No_Card_9958 · 2026-04-25T20:58:37+00:00

You’re divorced, right? Why are you wasting mental energy on her life?

bluephotoshop · 2026-04-25T20:49:18+00:00

Let it go. It’s time to live your own life.

whoopyboy69 · 2026-04-25T20:45:51+00:00

Just remove yourself from everything regarding her. Your own place to stay, don’t text unless about kids, then you just have to train your brain to think about other things. That’s all.

Title	Out with another guy
Author	Not_an_Intrnet_Killr
Upvotes	23
Comments	20
Date	April 25, 2026 8:36 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1svn7i4/out_with_another_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/out-with-another-guy.1578872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578872

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