Post divorce dating advice

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-30T16:45:44+00:00

Date a lot, have fun with no expectations. They do understand you being divorced and if then don't, move it along. Too many fish in the sea. You're not dating for the next wife, but to have companionship and fun. And, learn to cut bait quick. You can fix broken women. The first sign of that, bail!

Upper-Matter-8550 · 2024-04-30T11:06:08+00:00

I was 48 when I was redeployed:) .. I thought “ man I’m old this is gonna suck” totally best time of my life .. dating apps work great.. only tips I would say are this… women lie more than you think, if there are 10 pics they look like the worst one, only meet for one drink, realize a high percentage are actually nuts, and suit up cause some of the girls I met were pretty aggressive and I know I wasn’t the first guy. And have fun you earned it !!!!!

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-04-30T11:04:06+00:00

They only need to know that you’re single. Don’t talk about the divorce unless they ask about it. Have fun and let the conversations flow naturally

serenesweetpea · 2024-04-30T08:59:48+00:00

The grass is green where you water it.

idiskfla · 2024-04-30T07:35:10+00:00

If you’re a dog lover, start out by getting a dog. It’ll help meet your need for 24-7 companionship and make the whole dating “game” a lot more tolerable. I’d argue it makes you even more successful on the dating scene since you won’t be putting out “needy” vibes.

If a date doesn’t work out, I always look forward to coming back home to my most loyal friend.

rhett342 · 2024-04-30T06:05:09+00:00

I haven't really tried yet. I thought there was a thing with a woman I know but nothing ever happened with it. I don't really plan on trying to date until I'm in a good place mentally. I'm making myself into the kind of man who can get the kind of woman that I want. I have some health issues but I've gotten those to the best that I can. Mentally, I'm not good but I'm way better than I was. Much like my physical health, I think that I'm about as good as I can get. Financially, I'm doing great. I'm trying to save because I'm 45 and don't have anything but my income puts me in the top 10-15% of people in my city. When you consider the fact that married men typically make about 10% more than single men and I'm doing even better. The last piece I need to get settled is my housing and that should be cleared up in a month or 2.

I actually downloaded a dating app last night and poked around some. The thought of starting from scratch and trying to build a relationship is a bit intimidating. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm looking for on there. I'm 45. The last time I tried to pick up a woman, I was a teenager. I have no clue how to do this with an actual adult.

AdventurousTrash1645 · 2024-04-30T03:45:01+00:00

I can bring myself to date because I'm so self conscious about how fu&$ed I am financially. I'm worried it will be hard when they find out I'm a renter know who struggles just to pay child support and alimony every month. I'm so afraid to spend extra money I don't feel like I'd be able to date financially.

WartimeDad · 2024-04-30T02:26:37+00:00

Mostly I’ve just had fun. It’s a good time. I def haven’t found anyone I was able to get serious with. Over the years off and on again. Started up again recently and it looks promising. Just have fun with it. Don’t be stupid again

Wacodunk · 2024-04-30T02:19:31+00:00

I gave up on dating. I no longer view people the same after my divorce, the closest I'll ever let someone get to me again is being a co-worker, not a friend, not a relationship. Point blank someone I am paid to be around.

T-rayIII · 2024-04-30T01:01:36+00:00

It’s going really well for me. There’s definitely hope brother. I met a woman that treats me the way I always wanted, is obsessed with me in the best way, intimacy is through the rough, and I can be open with her about my divorce. And she’s absolutely beautiful. Just don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Take your time, but don’t be afraid if something feels right.

trivertx · 2024-04-29T23:36:14+00:00

Be upfront. Don’t waist your time or theirs. Coffee dates are a godsend. Easy to say adios or hey let’s carry this to dinner. Also if she shrugs at a coffee date you’ve saved yourself from a bad one.

Gattsama · 2024-04-29T22:01:14+00:00

I would first make sure you have done the healing and work to be the best you. A man needs to be: physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and physically fit. Work on being fit and your life will be overall good, you don't do this for women (but they will come).

Would check out "Models" by Mark Manson. Summary: relationships require intimacy, and intimacy comes from being vulnerable. Vulnerable means being open, honest and direct. And developing an abundance mindset. Remember, there is no shortage of women. She is not one in a million, she's one of a million. If there are red flags, drama, or issues = good! That means, she's not workable and move on. Most men try to hard to with 'special girl,' compromise, and place the female's wants/needs ahead of their own.

Dating is a numbers game. You have a go through a lot of crap to find a stone, and lots of stones to find a gem.

You need to know what you want, and have STRONG boundaries. You figure this out _before_ you start dating. Never let a women step over your boundaries. Not because she's a bad person, but because it's bad for YOU. Once you start to fold or excuse, things will expand, and you will fuck yourself. Never make decisions against your own best self interest.

If you just focus on being fit, women will show up. Again they are everywhere, no shortage.

67Luck · 2024-04-29T21:53:32+00:00

Wasn’t difficult at all. Many of them had been through the same or similar experiences.

I suggest not talking about your ex on dates and focusing on looking forward.

Maximum_Use5854 · 2024-04-29T21:34:10+00:00

Read dating essentials for men. Recognize you are just one of many and treat her (them) the same.

TreetopTarantula · 2024-04-29T21:27:45+00:00

I had wild success dating after divorce. In hindsight I was way out of my wife’s league based upon the women I dated afterwards.

rymo2019 · 2024-04-29T20:36:02+00:00

This time, be brutally honest about everything. Food. Looks. Money. Trips.

Date the wild ones that you fantasized about. They are out there.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-29T20:11:12+00:00

Here's the best advice I've come across about post-divorce dating: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ogjhm0/wait_at_least_one_year_after_divorce_before_dating/

Being divorced is a benefit, not a turn off, for a woman. You've already got social capital demonstrating that you aren't a creep by having someone willing to tie the knot with you.

When women ask me what I'm looking for, I tell them "I'm just dating". Sets the expectations early and clearly that I am not looking for a long-term commitment.

Title	Post divorce dating advice
Author	Snakepit543210
Upvotes	8
Comments	34
Date	April 29, 2024 7:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1cg8r2y/post_divorce_dating_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/post-divorce-dating-advice.1516838 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516838

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