Regrets?

Boliviascott · 2025-07-06T22:52:58+00:00

You need to seek therapy as it sounds like the sex 2-3 times a week are what you are missing, not her. Get yourself straight and if she is really the one you want, the get yourself under control. If it was just the sex and you plan on cheating more, let her go. She will always be connected to you because of your kids. Keep that a good relationship for their sake. Give her the respect you desire from her

SinglePlayerOnlyPlz · 2025-06-29T05:28:54+00:00

You cheated. Respectfully, if you lose her, you deserve it. You deserve the remorse. To live with regret. To live with the thoughts if what could've been. Be better in the next one. I'm sorry, but i, nor do others, have alot of empathy for that kind of thing. Do whatever you can to prove to her you still want to work things out. But if she doesn't see it happening, accept it and move on.

Icerunner45 · 2025-06-29T03:17:46+00:00

It’s nice to see guys stating the hard, objective truth. If this was a woman’s post, it would be filled with blaming the man and she did everything right by ripping the family apart.

Murky-Restaurant8210 · 2025-06-28T20:07:09+00:00

Yyyyeah. You should have regrets. In fact, you should work on yourself and try to save your relationship if that’s how you feel.

Analisandopessoas · 2025-06-28T18:41:19+00:00

Zero empathy, waiting for karma 🍿

NewDay0110 · 2025-06-28T15:39:27+00:00

This is sad. OP doesn't have a wife who is manipulating him, playing stupid mind games to drive him crazy, using divorce threats as leverage to financially ruin him... his problem is that his sexual urges control him. And then he complains about the type of women out there in the dating market? The grass is always greener elsewhere bro.

This one issue is solvable. There is porn. Some people have open relationships. Ethical non monogamy. People find ways of dealing with sexual issues that allow them to stay married, but its just may not fit in the traditional marriage framework.

warwww · 2025-06-28T14:34:09+00:00

Dude is about to nuke his entire family and all I can read from the post was not enough kinkage.

Please work on getting your desires under control lest they ruin you and those around you. I mean that in sincerity, I HATE to see families torn apart as your grandkids will feel it, their grandkids and so on….

Of course women outside of your marriage and family are going to use you, in fact some couldn’t care less if you die. They don’t give one flick of care about you.

I wish you the best man, but your kids, especially the unborn deserved at least a shot of having a family of their own.

As men we can be harsh on each other but this sometimes is necessary in the face of foolish decisions. Get some help man, at least for your kids sake.

THX1138-22 · 2025-06-28T13:49:32+00:00

You should work with a sex therapist and reconcile. Sex 2-3 times a week is more than you will find in the dating world. A minor concern is that you are going to have to pay for all the dates so each hookup is going to cost you more than a 100.

The main reason to stay, though, is your new baby.

HoldenMorrison · 2025-06-28T12:01:33+00:00

Dead bedroom is 2 to 3 times per week?

tyyyy110 · 2025-06-28T10:18:57+00:00

Dude...based on this post I think anyone would have regrets!

Sounds like instead of staying and owning your -ish, you turned and asked out. C'mon dude. Swallow your pride and go work on yourself and get your wife back.

Boglehead101 · 2025-06-28T06:22:14+00:00

Complex situation, from the little you’ve written about her your wife does sound like a great person.

You need to get your head sorted. Finding a compatible partner where sexual preferences are high on the pecking order won’t be easy.

Could be time for a radical rethink and I would say time is of the essence.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-06-28T04:39:01+00:00

Their libido is never low when they are with a man they are truly attracted to. Women having low libido is a myth.

Highlander0001 · 2025-06-28T04:36:31+00:00

Call her.

ColdEstablishment172 · 2025-06-28T04:17:29+00:00

Give her my number. I'll take care of her for you. I don't mind vanilla. Vanilla is as sweet as you want to make it.

Chris_Chilled · 2025-06-28T03:59:07+00:00

Here’s some hard truth for you.

You had a wife who cared, who wanted to go to therapy and fix things. She still saw you after the breakup and is about to have your second child. But you walked away because things felt boring or not exciting enough?

Now you are upset because dating is not what you thought it would be. You are not missing her because you realize her worth. You are just frustrated that your plan did not give you what you wanted. That is not love. That is immaturity.

She gave you a chance to work things out and you ignored it. That is on you. Grow up, respect her space, and focus on being a better man and a good father. You had something real and you threw it away.

DecentShallot6351 · 2025-06-28T03:11:34+00:00

I would go back to her. Your wife sounds like an amazing woman if she put up with all that and still wants you back. Most of us weren’t that lucky

warwww · 2025-06-28T03:08:24+00:00

Indeed. Own up to it. Leave her along and let her heal and find someone who’s in it for the long haul. She’ll recover and so will you.

Give her a smooth divorce and move on with a kinkier woman. Let your ex wife heal.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2025-06-28T02:59:29+00:00

Regrets are normal when you aren't committed to anything in particular. If you go back to her you'll regret the chance to meet someone who shares your kinks.

I would suggest you get off the apps and don't go back to your wife either. Take some time to work on yourself. Understand what's important to you and what you are willing to give up because you can't have it all. This applies to nearly every aspect of your life, not just relationships.

Title	Regrets?
Author	BluebirdMelodic3710
Upvotes	10
Comments	36
Date	June 28, 2025 2:28 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lmbxer/regrets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/regrets.1555783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555783

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