So HOW and WHEN do we finally address this man bashing family court system? I’m tired of talk.

techrmd3 · 2023-10-30T12:02:41+00:00

all you can do is talk talk talk.

You ever mention family court law reform to a politician? they run from you

women vote and they vote as a block. No way family law is changing until MEN completely boycott marriage in large numbers.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2023-10-30T08:32:34+00:00

Don’t play.

Fresh-Brilliant4550 · 2023-10-30T11:02:25+00:00

You don’t. You just do your best to get in and out of family court as fast as possible.

Family court doesn’t operate on logic. Your ex wife could literally be a crack addict and she will still get custody over you if she wants it.

I did the guardian ad litem and I had about 6 pages of what a horrible parent she was but the guardian still wouldn’t pull them from mom’s house. I wasted thousands on this process to prove I was right but the family court refuse to amend the custody order.

Im staying as involved as I can and waiting until they can make their own decision to leave to where I don’t need to convince the judge anymore and the kids are done being treated like maritial property.

The courts are designed to be against men. Avoid it. I’m glad I stayed out of trial and pretended to be amicable just to get out before one.

jimsmythee · 2023-10-30T14:51:23+00:00

It’s unfortunate but true. And there’s not a whole heck of lot any of us can do. All of it is under the discretion of the presiding judge. “Out of an abundance of caution, mother gets full custody.”

I feel very lucky in the judge I got 50/50 custody. All it took was her getting a recent conviction for “dui with kids in the car while driving high as a kite and crashing into the back of a pickup truck at 40mph.”

Roles reversed? Would I have gotten 50/50 custody?

Hack3rDr3w · 2023-10-30T15:28:15+00:00

It’s super easy. We need to stop getting married without a prenuptial.

PuzzleheadedFault305 · 2023-10-30T17:28:06+00:00

Avoid marriage. Historically it has been a losing battle for men. These days, where Netflix remains everyone that we are evil, stupid, or both (unless you are gay), it is even harder.

We have been bitten, but we can still remind others of the dangers ahead.

JustTheSpecsPlease · 2023-10-30T23:17:37+00:00

I felt the same way once I had any hope of retirement erased by the courts, and googled "Alimony reform in California." Turned this up:

http://www.calalimonyreform.org/

That site, and the attached Facebook account haven't even been updated since 2020.

It appears that most who get screwed in alimony-for-life schemes don't get much of a chance to fight much of anything.

I do agree that more of us need to band together to affect change, but I will admit, I have to work double time just to make ends meet now (I earn well, and I never see it. I get to pay the taxes, though).

I just don't have the bandwidth to pick up the cause. I'm too busy working myself to death so the ex can lead a trouble-free life of leisure.

I suspect that's precisely the outcome this system intends.

dadplup · 2023-10-30T14:21:29+00:00

My nexw lied to the cops and cps, brought me a lot of stress all I could do was document things, I had a good lawyer that used every legal tool to help me survive the divorce, but before that I had the police and cps knocking at my door and investigated me, but found nothing because there was nothing to find , her reluctance to compromise ended up being her downfall

Reflog1791 · 2023-10-30T15:40:46+00:00

It is working exactly as intended. The government wants you working all day long to pay your bills and your ex wife’s bills. The child support and alimony payer is usually in a higher tax bracket. Sticking you with the bills means more tax revenue. Good luck fighting that.

designerutah · 2023-10-30T19:59:55+00:00

Avoid marriage
Vote for men's right activists and if no other option, non feminists
Tell your attorney to help by using statistics from non biased sources and not just roll over and play dead (helps when you have evidence you can point to showing that the judges assumptions are not valid)
Seek to have judge's decisions reviewed when they ignore important aspects of the case

rsmiley77 · 2023-10-30T22:20:45+00:00

Ok I’m going to get a lot of down votes for this comment and it’s fine. Sometimes there needs to be a voice that expresses reason over anger. That’s this one. So here we go.

1) the judge was correct. Just because found innocent doesn’t mean you are innocent. Don’t get mad at judge or even me. Your attorney should never have said it that way. He messed up there.

2) as someone who went ‘as far as one can go’ through the system I realize that courts are biased against men. Never walked into a hearing where I wasn’t treated like an idiot and also the person to blame. It’s annoying.

3) no offense, but I don’t believe you never yelled in 15 years of marriage. Even if true (how can it be?) the judge isn’t going to believe you. They’re going to think, ‘if he can’t admit to yelling then what else is he lying about?’ I want to add I’m not attacking you. Just telling you what conclusions a judge is coming to from what you’re saying here. Judges believe those that can admit mistakes and not being perfect because at the end of the day none of us are perfect.

4) I’m sorry you got shafted. This is where I want to use your post though as an example. The divorce process isn’t a sprint it’s a marathon. You only get one chance at it too. Like in a football game, you can’t let the refs (judges, social services) take you out of the game. You must focus all of your attention and energy on the end goal of limiting your financial hit and getting your kids as much as you choose. That’s it. Being truthful (or in this case seeming truthful) is the most important part. Unless you settle, winning or losing comes down to really who is the most honest and believable person.

5) my final point is that you never told us what shafted was. What did you want? What did you get? Did the judge explain why? I remember after reading my favorable ruling from the Master presiding over my case, the thing that I couldn’t shake was how the Master (a woman) said that my now ex did some housework. It was very minimal. It was also all I could think about after getting a decision that my attorney said she couldn’t imagine being any more favorable.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2023-10-30T10:48:08+00:00

Understand Gynocentricism.

Hack3rDr3w · 2023-10-30T21:34:32+00:00

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Title	So HOW and WHEN do we finally address this man bashing family court system? I’m tired of talk.
Author	FlyingSaucer51
Upvotes	30
Comments	36
Date	October 30, 2023 8:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17jofx4/so_how_and_when_do_we_finally_address_this_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/so-how-and-when-do-we-finally-address-this-man.1236697 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236697

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