I feel like I am sitting on a time bomb.

17 years of marriage, 2 great kids. Separated from Oct of last year, tried everything but the answer from her is the same: "I don't need a divorce, but can't see us moving forward as is."

Left marital home to "take a breather" and managed to avoid RO (not knowing that it was part of the plan) but have been back into the house for visits with kids for 3 months, 4-5 times a week but avoid any non children related interaction.

Started refi last Nov, getting to sign in week or two.

Her offer: she gets to keep her business and wants to continue paying for the house while I maintain 50% ownership, she obviously gets to live in it. I can take anything I want from it (not hopeful). I keep our rental property (where I am likely to move into) and all my toys, my 401K, etc. No child support or alimony. No debt on me(she has student loans and will keep them). But also not a lot of liquid assets I can use to pay the lawyers (I can get money, but she can get more). Had a consultation with a couple of attorneys and they think it's a fair deal.

No conversation on custody (but what I saw drafted in separation agreement basically gave her all the rights with me visiting few days a week to act as a babysitter while she's at work) and this is where I am afraid all this shit is going to blow up.

My strategy was to move into my apartment and have space for children overnights, then start the conversation re: custody. We don't have to sign anything right now, except for refi. It is for both primary and rental. Should I be signing? It does make sense financially if we keep both properties which in this market is pretty great idea and moving into my apartment will allow me to save money for another house down payment.

RED FLAG:(She started manipulating using kids: "If you take away their childhood home, they will know" and is prepared to dump abuse and DV case on me.") I can fight it but it will deplete me financially and I am already emotionally drained. If I sign, I can drag this shit out for a few months and get situated/in a better state of mind. If I don't - KABOOM is guaranteed, including possible RO.

Any advice/thoughts?

This shit sucks. The thick of it hasn't even started and I want it to be over:) Cheers dudes, I know this too shall pass.