Age gaps

CassieGreen85 · 2020-10-16T19:18:50+00:00

People get so triggered when you dare to speak up about how weird age gaps are. The older I get the more freaked out I am by big age gaps. It's not okay not is it normal. The growth I had between 20-24 is huge and I've seen many other people have the same. So I can't imagine why any decent, normal, fully developed person would be interested in someone who isn't. It's just shady.

quaintrell · 2020-10-16T19:37:22+00:00

It's hard to understand how creepy age gaps are until you reach the age of the person you dated. I'm 22 and I can't imagine having sex with a high school kid... gives me the creeps. Not to mention the men who were even older.

squaremarshmallow · 2020-10-16T20:00:10+00:00

I'm 24 and literally would look at a 21 year old as a child. Because my maturity at 21 is NO where near where I am now. When I was 22 a 34 year old asked me out and within 3 days said he wanted to be in a relationship with me. He was suprised anytime I said a straight up no or questioned his ideas. He literally did not expect that I would do be sensible even though he would constantly praise me for being more mature than my age. When I showed the maturity he praised he would tell me how shocked he was? Also, there's an inherent immaturity that such men have. Usually they are not mentally and emotionally mature themselves even though sometimes they may have a good facade (good job, friends position etc) When you get to know them what you will find is an insecure teenager who can not be in a relationship with a woman his age because he never matured himself.

PorkNeckBone · 2020-10-16T20:24:39+00:00

The part about gaslighting is very true. I hate how much people try to push the idea that older women are jealous of younger women because I feel like a lot of older predatory men use that to their advantage to groom younger women. So many of these men also try to convince you that you're really mature/"mature for your age"/just as or more mature than women his age which further shows that they understand what they're doing is predatory.

empresselevation · 2020-10-16T23:02:31+00:00

Ugh YES! THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. I hate the stupid concept that "age is nothing but a number." Absolute bull. Getting attention from an older guy IS NOT A COMPLIMENT. He will use and abuse you without you realizing! He doesn't love you, he loves the POWER he has over you! What healthy, mature man in his late 20s/early 30s would want to even entertain a relationship with someone still in her late teens/early 20s? Legally, you may be an adult, but mentally and emotionally, you're still so naive! Men who engage in age gap relationships disgust me.

I have a 27 yo ex who is currently dating a 19 yo and no one seems to be batting an eye about it. It's not my place to insert myself in her business, but part of me really wants to be like RUN SIS, RUN!!!!! There's a reason why no one his age wants him!!!!

OrangeyPanda · 2020-10-16T21:50:02+00:00

Ugh, every boomer man I work with brags to eachother about how they lied about their age for the first year or two of dating their now wife. They said they were 5-10 years younger. They know that after a year you'll be invested in them and the relationship and feel too bad to end it. Its gross.

TheTower_14 · 2020-10-17T01:05:08+00:00

I always wonder how the parents feel about their children (daughters in this case) bringing home an older person. Like they should step into the shoes of the girls parents. What if your sweet, talented, hardworking, daughter, your angel, your baby, brings home this crusty, bad knee having, beer gut, balding, bad hygiene having, cig/weed breath having, no fashion sense insight, erectile dysfunction having, porn sick, insecure, on the verge of having diabetes, and probably broke living at his own parents house head ass man. A grown ass OLD MAN, trying to get with your young vulnerable daughter. No

I would probably try to fight the weirdo and then ask my daughter why on earth would she bring home a cretin like that.

apple_cores · 2020-10-17T03:54:56+00:00

I dated someone younger than me and he was actually the one who took advantage of my love for him. His behavior turned me into a person I didn’t like. I have a hard time still forgiving him for what he’s done; I don’t know if it’s just because he didn’t know better (even tho we had so many conversations about our boundaries, etc) or because he is just not a good person and that won’t change at 25 or 30. So yeah, age gaps are tough. I’ll still date younger but only by a few years.

Jamiepappasatlanta · 2020-10-17T07:13:46+00:00

I was young and naive. I dated a guy when I was 18 who I thought was 25. He later turned out really to be 30. I was in love with him. I think he really loved me but he was from Iran. He asked me to marry him. In their culture they marry very young girls. I broke off our engagement as I realized I was too young to get married.In retrospect, I assume he wanted me mostly because of my age. I dodged a bullet.

rosa_rubiginosa · 2020-10-17T11:21:38+00:00

When I was 25, I dated a guy who was ten years older than me. He acted surprised when he found out my age, told me I seemed more mature. I thought he was younger, max. 5 years older than me - which surprise surprise says something about him. He was lvm. We "dated" for a couple months and he got mad when I asked him if we are dating and if we were exclusive. Should've just dropped him.

Also, he had a daughter who was 15 at the time. So when he was my age, I was his daughter's age.

mscristalconnors · 2020-10-16T21:19:05+00:00

The only reason for age gaps is if you’re trying to get money out of old dudes. Otherwise, stick to your age or be on your own.

They will age you.

ScrotusMcPOTUS · 2020-10-16T23:41:10+00:00

I was 20, almost 21 when we met and he was 31

This was the exact age(s) at which my parents got married, and you can imagine how that's turned out. My mom is an absolute angel on Earth who could've done SO much better :(

Electrik_Sky · 2020-10-18T01:58:27+00:00

I agree completely. Sometimes it works out well but you have to be careful. I dated a 34 year old as a 28 year old. Thought it wasn’t that big of a deal but he was put up this huge facade, was emotionally abusive, gaslit the hell out of me. My friend dates a guy with the same age difference and he treats her like a queen. You don’t know where you’re going to end up.. be careful with an older man. You have to think about what they want from you - are they trying to take advantage of your innocence, your inexperience? Do they want a younger woman to look up to him because they’re trashy but to a younger woman with less experience, he’s a god? Does he have a tendency to date younger women? Really try to figure out their motives.

ProfessionalPee · 2020-10-16T19:56:59+00:00

THANK YOU. So many women brush it off as "you're just jealous" and I feel so so bad for them. Why would I be jealous of your dusty abusive cunt of a bf....i am WARNING YOU because i am so worried about what hes going to do to you! But you can never seem to convince them. Poor things project their own sense of love onto these creatures.

mtan15 · 2020-10-17T13:40:20+00:00

My ex is 44 dating a 25 year old. I see history repeating itself in that she's quit her job and about to move in with him after 9 months. And with my girls, 13, 12 and 19 years younger than her. So I warned her. I told her everything. Emotional, financial, sexual, mental abuse to the point he convinced me I had bipolar. Multiple affairs with hookers and a drug history she had no idea about. Yet.... she stays and convinces herself she'll be OK without the baby she always wanted. As long as she can be his 3rd wife... it breaks. My. Heart.

Fearlessfell · 2020-10-16T21:24:01+00:00

It’s appalling how my friends don’t listen when I try to warn them about this. “But so and so was 18 when she met so and so (31)” well so and so hasn’t woken up yet, and there is no way that is ok.

It makes my blood boil. The power imbalances that are hidden behind, “oh he just wants a fun girl and doesn’t want to settle down.”

A lot of the time pickmeishas are attracted to the seeming power that older men have. HVM don’t go after men who can abuse them, they wouldn’t even risk it.

thepeachyprincess · 2020-10-17T15:52:15+00:00

I'm nearly 22, and typically I date up to 33 y/o but this clearly isn't a good strategy. Do you think there are HVM particularly in regards to earnings who are 22-27 for example? Thanks!

HydraSkyFire · 2020-10-19T08:39:20+00:00

Remember that until you finish college you are still a child and shouldn't date over 2 years older

Title	Age gaps
Author	Frogspocket
Upvotes	241
Comments	34
Date	October 16, 2020 1:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jc9jek/age_gaps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/age-gaps.318276 https://theredarchive.com/post/318276

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