Am I weird for this?

hopewings · 2020-11-10T15:22:51+00:00

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MadamLeFay · 2020-11-10T15:36:10+00:00

Trust me, you don't want an older man- the older you get, the older and sicker they get... only date an older man if you want to be his nurse and give him an ego boost because he landed a young thing.

Davina33 · 2020-11-10T15:35:06+00:00

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slythergin23 · 2020-11-10T15:38:35+00:00

i think that's completely normal. my mom's friend married someone who's like 20 years older than her. she's been stuck being his caregiver for the past 10 years. and their son won't hit 30 before losing his dad, by far. i can't imagine gow horrible that must be.

but even aside from that. i'm in my early 20s and literally every time there's more than a 5-6 year age gap, they're trying to manipulate the shit out of me or use me because i'm still more naive. i doubt that'll get much better any time soon.

2020-11-10T16:03:50+00:00

I'm pretty sure that not dating significantly older men is in the handbook.

elvn-elvn · 2020-11-10T15:35:16+00:00

Masters in engineering? You deserve a prince, you’re an incredibly hard working, incredibly brilliant woman. Be as picky as humanly possible.

I have what I call the “high school rule”—if I couldn’t have reasonably dated a person with this age difference in high school, they’re too old or young. For me that’s 4 years max older, and 2 years max younger.

divination__ · 2020-11-10T17:12:51+00:00

I'm the same age and the same way. Honestly, even 34 feels a little old for me. I think that's healthy. I also think as we get older the more clear the stark difference between your 20s and your mid 30s will feel.

what-i-dont-know · 2020-11-10T16:46:47+00:00

Nothing weird at all. The majority of the guys I’ve been with have been my age or younger. The oldest I’ve been with was 3 year older. Majority of men in their 30 are not the best looking so I prefer dating my age or younger. The youngest I go is 5 years and the oldest I go is 3 years.

blessedwiththree · 2020-11-10T16:55:43+00:00

No, I think you are spot on and that this is more of a normal feeling. I'm 33 and divorced, dating again. Before I was married (26 and under) I had an extreme attraction to men that were way too old for me (anywhere from 10-15 years older I found very enticing). After counseling and working through issues I had with my father, I am no longer attracted to an age gap and it actually repulses me that men 15-30 years older are interested in me! Now the largest age gap I would be okay with is a man who is 40 (and even then it would be pushing my limits). When I think about marrying an older man, I now have many thoughts on why I do not want to: men's life expectancy is lower (he will most likely die before me), I will be more likely to be giving up my younger years taking care of him, he won't be able to keep up with my young children, may not be able to give me more healthy children, and I'm worried that I would be giving up years of a healthy sex life.

callmebubbles92 · 2020-11-10T19:11:15+00:00

No, I am the same age as you and feel the same way. I went on two dates with a 38-year-old before the pandemic, and it wasn't for me. For one thing, he was wearing these pants that were very popular around the early 2000s, when I was in elementary school. He would have been in college! It was a weird mind fuck. Also, I felt like he talked down to me a lot. Personally, I feel like dating an older man means dealing with a limp dick having dude who acts like he's the prize.

Also, I think if you were to make your limit much older than what you are comfortable with, because "I can't be picky", you're putting out low self esteem energy that is going to attract LVM. I have a friend who has her limit at early 50s despite wanting kids, and it makes me cringe, because she has a history of putting up with LVMs and not valuing herself, and I can only imagine what losers she would be letting into her life.

SavvyInNYC · 2020-11-10T20:16:09+00:00

Save yourself the headache and just accept now that you don’t want older men! I spent years trying to force myself to date older because that’s what I thought I should want.

I’m in my 30s now, and let me tell you a little secret sis.. once I accepted that I like younger men.. DATING GOT SO MUCH EASIER.

Don’t get me wrong, men of all ages hit on me. And there are quite a few older HVM. But opening yourself up to the younger guys.. ooohhh boy. It’s been a lot of fun. I feel like younger men tend to be in awe of slightly older women and it shows in their dating style.

Anyway, that’s just been my experience. I say, embrace it, sis. At the end of the day, you’re the one going on the dates. So why not do it with the men that you want instead of the men that society thinks that you should want?

Fuck them. And I guarantee.. it’s not the younger men that have the problem with it. It’s the older dudes that were told all their lives that women LOVE older men. And now they’re finding it not true and don’t know what to do except try to tear us down.

Oh, and one of those younger guys that I dated? Yeah, he’s my fiancé now. You do what makes you happy.

honeybeeroll · 2020-11-10T19:24:41+00:00

Not weird at all! It is important to examine our preferences to make sure we don't hold them for negative reasons, and that they aren't harmful to ourself or others (ex: being into bdsm is innately harmful). Nothing harmful about not liking guys over 35. And don't worry you're missing out - if you're not attracted, you can't force yourself to be. This goes for any traits you're not attracted to. Attraction is what it is, and unless someone has an immoral fetish, it shouldn't be changed.

Do not worry about your age. Worrying about your age is one of the worst things you can do for dating (take it from someone who's been there 🙃). Instead of worrying about getting older, worry about wasting time. A guy doesn't ask you for commitment after a couple months? He doesn't propose to you after a year or two? Bye. As hard as it is, leave.

Ex: An old coworker of mine met this total man child when in her late 20s. They dated four years before he proposed. Then another year before the wedding. Then another year before she tried to have a baby. Then that was "too much pressure" and he f*cked somebody else. And she stayed. Because she was 34, had wasted so much time on him and wanted children so bad, she was afraid if she left she wouldn't meet another man in time to have them. She didn't tell me that but I'd know her long enough to know that was the case. She'll be 36 soon and she's still not pregnant. So what was the point of her fear? Her fear kept her with him, but it didn't get her what she wanted, children.

Karthasis11 · 2020-11-10T20:19:42+00:00

I never liked older men. Heck I prefer even younger men, at least the look decent - and no, young guys aren't worse in their behavior it is pretty much dependent on the guy. Respecting women isn't something they magically get when they hit 25, 35 etc. It's pretty much what role models they had during their child hood.

2020-11-10T15:34:35+00:00

No it's ok I'm 27 and don't date older than 35. I want kids also and I know older men have higher chances of having kids with autism and ADHD amongst other things. That's a no for me.

rhyth7 · 2020-11-11T10:30:31+00:00

I'm 31 and plenty of young dudes want to date me. You shouldn't worry about it. I also have no interest in dating old men. They are expecting you to change their diapers when the time comes. I want a man who keeps himself up physically and respects me, older men are unlikely to be this way.

Davina33 · 2020-11-10T17:55:50+00:00

It's very normal and healthy. Stick at it. Unfortunately I used to be just the opposite and ended up with predatory older men. Not good. They just wanted to use me for my youth. I have unresolved childhood trauma and once I started working on that, I could see how bad for me these relationships were.

miwamus · 2020-11-10T18:29:15+00:00

You are normal.

richgirl500 · 2020-11-10T20:40:22+00:00

Yes I am 28 too. I always dated only younger guys, older guys is a big no for me.

Vmwvi · 2020-11-11T05:16:45+00:00

No, you are not weird for this. 34 is already wayyy too high for someone who's only 28 by my standards. If you'd only date a year or two younger than you, why would you date someone who thinks dating that many years younger is appropriate?

theawkwardalli · 2020-11-11T05:47:46+00:00

I’m 25 and the highest I’m willing to date is 30...but even that “old” kind of weirds me out! You’re totally justified and normal—don’t worry!

snatchdecisions · 2020-11-10T23:19:40+00:00

Not only do I want a partner my age, but I prefer them to be at the same economic and social level as well. I don't want to be with someone who makes a whole lot more than me financially or a whole lot less. I don't want to be with someone who has a high profile social life that I would have to keep up with, but I don't want an antisocial partner not up to doing new things. Basically, I prefer balance and I think most normal people do as well.

Ghost_namesake · 2020-11-11T03:31:09+00:00

I was married to a man who is 9 years older, and it wasn't great. He was immature. I was his barb the builder. He couldn't relate to a lot of the memories I had of growing up. I'm never dating someone who's that much older again.

fireforestfairy · 2020-11-11T09:10:43+00:00

Not at all! There's nothing wrong with wanting to date someone around the same age as you.

Title	Am I weird for this?
Author	KeepMeInYourGlow
Upvotes	63
Comments	38
Date	November 9, 2020 9:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jr756v/am_i_weird_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/am-i-weird-for-this.733674 https://theredarchive.com/post/733674

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