Sometimes distance and select disclosure is the best approach.
Most of us have, at some point in our lives, been naïve, influenced by libfem falsehoods, had unresolved trauma that led to dating based on trauma bonds, overlooked the unforgivable due to low self esteem. So you see yourself in her, you relate and want to help...
STOP!
It is not your responsibility to save another woman who is not receptive to changing her approach to gender dynamics and dating. In fact, the more you try the less convincing you will be. Your best bet is to simply live based on your values, and give advice only when asked DIRECTLY.
Here are some of the likely issues to be weary of:
1. She will compete for male attention around you
This means your relationship will always flip-flop between her personality one-on-one and when men are around. She’s hyper vigilant of male gaze - her eyes will look around the room/group, she’s never fully focused on the two of you. She will talk and laugh louder and try to be funnier or control the conversation, because in her mind she’s improving her chances.
2. She will sulk, back-stab you, or spread lies if a man likes you/pays attention to you over her
The irony of this is that she’s less appealing to the HVM due to her insecure and pursuing tendencies. Be prepared for her to try to combat this by jokingly raising things she thinks are unappealing to him in his presence, and the inverse with you but in private (because she wouldn’t want to ruin HER chances with him by negging him to his face). Do you have a physical trait you’re shy about? Do you have kids/never want kids, have you confided something embarrassing recently? It’s all ammo to her.
3. Her low self-esteem and insecurity WILL seep to the surface and she assumes you feel the same about yourself
Be prepared for her to make self deprecating comments about herself, her weight, looks etc and assume you also feel the same way about yourself or are willing to openly discuss this in public or in a group. This can be really awkward, she may also do this as an indirect back handed comment if you’re bigger or less put together etc.
4. She has poor boundaries, and will create situations you don’t want to be a part of
She will discuss explicit or private issues with little regard for social graces or propriety. She thinks it’s funny or cute or honest or endearing, and is unaware of the discomfort she is creating in others, or is using it to try to be a “cool girl” or “one of the guys”.
5. She has bought into the patriarchy hierarchy - Men matter more than women
She considers the opinions of men more important than women, even if she claims to be a feminist. She will make jokes about serious female issues, she is inherently embarrassed of her own gender. She will talk men down but ultimately still seeks their approval.
Conclusion
She may be a great woman at heart, but being too close to her WILL drag you down. The best advice is to not share anything too personal about yourself, because the moment a guy likes your or gives any indication that he does she will play dirty, and drag your name in order to try to advantage herself. She will also make you seem less confident and professional in a work environment just by association. If you volunteer good advice when she’s confiding in you yet again about a loser who’s done her wrong she will likely tell you you’re too old fashioned or a prude.
Be an example of FDS in the way you live and describe your own life and boundaries. That’s your best bet of influencing her.
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