Correlation between paper and dice roleplaying games (e.g.: D&D) and LVM?

whiskey_and_oreos · 2021-06-08T01:35:09+00:00

I haven't played since college 10 years ago and it was exactly what you describe. I went to a tech school and didn't have many options for friends (super busy course load plus an on-campus job meant I only hung out with people in my degree program or from work) even in my pickme days I knew those men were nasty.

I'd love to find an all women's group though, if such a thing can exist through a campaign without someone's LV boyfriend showing up.

spicyspa · 2021-06-08T01:51:32+00:00

In my experience it's the times we're living in that allow the ease of playing a game without having to leave your house that's creating LVMs.

I know a lot of former D & D players from the 80s. Like Stephen Colbert, they're all very successful but obviously not to the same extent. One's the head legal counsel for a major corporation, the others are similarly successful. My brother whose also successful, an these games for the most part. (He's only 5'1 and married. He snagged his wife by being genuinely a great guy.) They were popular nerds at my school. I can't say anything really bad about them. Back then, you had to have the social skills to be included and I remember a couple guys my brother banned because they were assholes.

I think the difference is that back in the 80s, you had to actually show up at someone's house to play a game. You couldn't just roll out of bed. Plus, even though it was casual, people still expected better hygiene back then and you were called out if you stank. Now, there's not a whole lot of effort required to play these games. Just turn on the computer.

Now it's the instant gratification, lack of physical contact with actual players and the ego points for advancing in a game of skill that's become a toxic mixture.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-06-08T02:09:52+00:00

I don’t know any D&D players I stick to the online MM role playing games which has its own issues. Dudes tend to be kinda icky and misogynistic sometimes. I’ll be just walking in Tamriel minding my own business and some nerd in zone chat will go off about how women shouldn’t have rights or hating on jews. MUTED. I use a woman’s name in the game cause I’m a woman which I thought nothing if it at the time. As it turns out, big mistake. You get random players asking for sexy talk in exchange for something like mats and armor. I mean … maybe … but NO must resist the temptation. Or dudes will bully you and be like YOU SUCK HEALER DO YOUR JOB when you are doing fine. It’s weird, people are fucking weird.

LadyGrimes · 2021-06-08T02:35:01+00:00

One of my ex boyfriends played Magic the Gathering, would leave the cards all over the place and on the floor, then got mad when my dog would chew them up or piss on them. In my experience these guys can be lazy, but my HVM husband also played the game with friends and was the cleanest man I ever met.

So it really differs from guy to guy.

Twohagsover30 · 2021-06-08T01:50:32+00:00

I've met the same scrotes you describe at trivia nights as well. I'm not even sure you're depicting gamer dudes but rather the under 40 generation as a whole. 🤣

amhran_oiche · 2021-06-08T05:02:46+00:00

The only solution is to play only with other women yesssss

vibrantgray · 2021-06-08T01:33:33+00:00

I’ll back you up on this one. I’ve never met one of those types who wasn’t a total grub in some aspect of their life 😂

JustPeachyyyyyyyy · 2021-06-08T04:08:32+00:00

I’m a huge gamer and an experienced D&D player. Trust me, OP is spot on. The amount of raging narcissism, insecurity, and fragile masculinity you see in these types of scrotes is astounding.

If he says he’s into D&D or gaming, run sis 🏃🏼‍♀️

Jacquerex09 · 2021-06-08T06:40:42+00:00

I sell cards to magic the gathering players and the number of times my clients have tried to flirt with me (as a female player) is actually astounding.

That being said, most of my male friends are into magic and they lead balanced lives. Maybe they’re the minority but magic isn’t a priority for them. They’ve got better things to do in life and are focused on advancing/bettering themselves. I can concur that they’re nerdy but I don’t think it makes them LVM in particular. I think the issue of LVMs arise when men are addicted to these games.

haunted_vcr · 2021-06-08T08:30:44+00:00

Sweet. Baby. Jesus. The biggest LVMs I have ever run across have been into RPGs (and games in general, bite me lol).

I think these appeal to them so much because they're aware they suck and they want to be powerful and cool for an evening.

The ones into DMing are the most deviant of the bunch - they get a power trip seeing their bros enjoy the fantasies they put together and admire them.

brittneyinblack · 2021-06-08T13:57:05+00:00

I'll happily disagree here! My friend group plays, and we started not too long ago. Amongst the group we have: married couple #1 where he actually works for Twitch and she's an artist, he makes great money for the both of them and takes care of her very well; married couple #2 where he's a med student and she works, and they have a lovely home (they actually host our playing sessions); single guy #1 who lives in the 2nd couple's spacious basement apartment and holds a good engineering job; single guy #2 (don't know as much about what he does for work or anything) who is always very kind and has a CS degree; single guy #3 who holds a good engineering job and is one semester away from double-majoring in mechanical engineering and CS; and myself. This group loves video games (well, minus myself) and thought it would be fun for all of us to try DnD. The single guys are all respectful, clean, and have other hobbies they enjoy as well. No one is the typical gross gamer in physical looks, lifestyle, or mindset.

I've also played with an all-female group, and that was good fun.

DnD got a bit of a new spotlight when Stranger Things was popular, so I think it made it at least a bit more mainstream. I wouldn't use roleplaying games as a deal breaker, but rather the attributes you've listed above.

nahradfam · 2021-06-08T08:23:08+00:00

I know a few married couples who play D&D as a group, twice a week, two different campaigns.

They're mostly high school sweethearts with kids and middle class jobs; however they're all also co-dependent and socially disfunctional with no remaining other friends, and who never do anything else except play D&D.

Crafty_Collar8183 · 2021-06-08T04:15:51+00:00

I've met people who met their spouses through board and online games. But I'm not close with them and chose not to be friends with them.

berrylikeova · 2021-06-08T02:20:10+00:00

Yes yes yes

AcadiaLeather5071 · 2021-06-08T14:33:13+00:00

D&D sounds cool tho. It’d be great to play with just women or even just decent people in general!

eclo · 2021-06-08T13:53:03+00:00

IME its nerd men (and nerd culture) in general, maybe its bc all the dice RPG men I’ve met have also been anime & gamer nerds I find it hard to separate them into specifically dice nerds etc. I absolutely see your point and agree but ime there’s so much overlap between nerd circles it’s not just an RPG thing, it’s a nerd men in general thing. The whole culture is toxic and dangerous for women. It’s so pornified & either full on peak lib fem bullshit, or reactionary red pill kinda crap.

Jai_Kali · 2021-06-08T16:21:03+00:00

Oh definitely, there are always exceptions. My current boyfriend is the opposite of all those things you list and has been playing tabletop RPGs since he was 8. I had never played before he introduced me to it, so my experience is very limited, but none of the people we've played with so far have been like that either. We're currently playing with a group that includes a married couple who are some of the most wholesome people I have ever met.

Bikkie5233 · 2021-06-08T14:26:07+00:00

What is up with those graphic tees really??? They don’t even wash them frequently and the tees make them even uglier!

blackflowerx3 · 2021-06-08T03:07:50+00:00

Holy fuck my life, you described one of my exes to a T. And yes, I dumped his ass. He's still living in his friend's basement and has gone fully bald in the 2 years since I dumped him. I'm older than him and he looks ten years older than me.

GeorgiaPeach_94 · 2021-06-08T17:09:49+00:00

I have two good friends I used to play D&D with who are not like that. Coincidentally, they are both getting their PhD in mathematics. They teach, they're self sufficient, they're into philosophy and reading and very cultured people in general. They're brainy geeks in a good way, a bit eccentric. One is very friendly and social (and gay) while the other one is very quiet and reserved.

But from what I understand they're the exception, or rather a very specific "kind" of geek.

MadSeaPhoenix · 2021-06-08T21:01:59+00:00

I’ve been playing in a group for a few years now with a bunch of guys I found online. While I don’t necessarily consider them HVM, most of them actually have a great income (tech dudes), groom themselves, have thus far been respectful and not even alluded to gross stuff in the game, and a couple of them even have work out routines and only have junk food that one night a week that we play (they’re not in great shape but they definitely don’t fit the stereotype either). I had a couple other groups I joined that had varying degrees of similar. It may just be the area I live in though (lots of big tech near me). When I lived in another state, it was far more as you describe. One of the newer guys definitely sets off red flags for me though, I can tell he is porn sick, obsessed with anime, etc., so I’m more calculating in my interactions with him. A couple of them own their own homes ($$$), and as we had to move to playing online for the last year, it appeared they all had pretty tidy homes, the ones that were single, as well as the married ones.

All of that said, I am very picky when I look for groups. I’ve joined quite a few and left soon after meeting them because I got bad vibes from some/all of the men there. I’ve left groups when men wouldn’t stop talking over me or telling me what to do. I’ve not so nicely asked a group I was hosting to not return when one neckbeard was letting his narc best friends do some very shady stuff that went on for way too long (and come to think of it, all the guys in that group were exactly as you describe). So I guess I’m saying if you vet well enough you can find some decent ones, but, good luck wading through all the not so great ones!

My dream is to host a radfem group in my area. Perhaps someday.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-06-09T00:36:50+00:00

I wouldn’t know because I don’t hang out with gamers or DND nerds. Automatic no. Goes without saying. Being in this sub has been eye opening as to how popular that stuff really is.

Title	Correlation between paper and dice roleplaying games (e.g.: D&D) and LVM?
Author	joliet_jane_blues
Upvotes	105
Comments	29
Date	June 7, 2021 7:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nuks0z/correlation_between_paper_and_dice_roleplaying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/correlation-between-paper-and-dice-roleplaying.781668 https://theredarchive.com/post/781668

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