This is apart of a bigger discussion—I’d love to hear your stories.

Let me say this: the way most mens' minds work creeps me out. They see the world more transactionally and rarely get much fulfillment from being kind people, but see acting nice in hopes of direct reward as being the standard for male kindness.

They say whatever shit optimally cancels what point is being made and it's fucked up seeing this both on a small scale (our super fans) and real life. Honestly, I've never really gotten used to it-- how crazy men are about women desiring things or wanting independence and I sincerely wish other men would just...wake the fuck up and realize how creepy this shit is. Like, don't they see how much more entitled it is to encourage others to date people they don't even want under the guise of it being "moral"? Wtf!

We have been cursed by a dating and interpersonal culture of "buts" and "what ifs" rather than "what is" and "what he does." Or at least, any balance. Liking the soul and heart of a person isn't mutually exclusive to paying attention to their actions.

Men, who have no issue with deciding a woman's value is "1" based off her looks, as a rule viciously despise it when women at all abandon naivety and blind devotion, and instead actually pay attention to who a man is and what he does. Even a woman struggling dating is told to lower her standards...as if being fake and dating someone you're incompatible with will lead to happiness. It won't. You're just doing NVMs a favor in making yourself more available, and abandoning any pretense of independence and self-worth you have.

Therefore, they condemn a woman acting rationally to reality. AKA, FDS.

Of course most FDS lurkers are control freaks in denial; they don't experience much emotions about people, especially women, being raped or abused or killed. They don't want solutions. They just care about their status in society being questioned.

When they do try lashing out...it's in response to anything that questions their NPC-like, feeble worldview, a form of self-policing using FDSers as a soap-box.

And I got a DM before I shut them off that was a delicious cross-section of a morally questionable guy that's just really desperate trying to in vain convince himself that FDS is 100% fucked up and evil...of which I'm sure triggered him because I was speaking the truth. He couldn't handle women being portrayed as victims in any way and wanted to gatekeep it.

What triggered him? A comment I made, something like:

“women need boundaries to keep themselves safe. For example, many men are now saying it’s ‘manipulating a man into commitment’ for a woman to not want to sleep with a man in the first weeks—many have no issue with lying and making it a moral prerogative for a woman to put out...

Imagine how doubly evil it’d be to pressure a sexual assault victim using these tactics.”

Then, well. I got a Whataboutismail™, the exact one is this:

“First of all I do agree that some men will take woman not having sex with them a red flag bit why not look if the situation was the other way round that if a men doesnt have sex with you he is "not a real man" or "gay" or a "loser virgin" and you say what if they where abused ,raped etc then what about men who have been raped or abused. That's why I dont like FDS so many double standards and hypocrisy and sexism.”

  1. Wtf is the connection here? Devil’s advocate...so, he ACTUALLY saw someone on FDS hate on the nonincel virgin men. This still isn’t anything comparable to TREATING SOMEONE YOU KNOW LIKE A TOOL??
  2. Is he trying to say that these manipulators do fucked up shit cuz they’re insecure? Being insulted is no where as bad as manipulating and using someone. Being insulted doesn’t mean you’re a victim either
  3. He made FDS into some monolith that hates virgin men; we don’t, we generally hate INCELS and criticize the sentiment that male suffering is routed in not getting sex. Not all virgin men are incels. Maybe I’m wrong, but to this day I see more shaming men that sleep around then nonincel virgins, or men that whine about women's standards being too high (while refusing to self-improve)

Oh. I found it super duper interesting he brought up “gay” because I almost exclusively have seen men use it to insult other men too? I know I’ve never called a virgin man that and...I haven’t seen it here yet? Am I blind?

Also, another interesting thing is that he also claimed this: MEN GET RAPED AS MUCH AS WOMEN. No statistics/sources, of course. Though he acted like it was also, basically, women's fault even though men rape other men more. Ok.

Hhem. So. Yes. He was dumb. And he's one of millions; so many men have a robotic view of women’s issues, as well as an obsession with hypocrisy and...I see it everywhere. Like, It really doesn’t help that so much of the criticism actually justifies FDS’s existence. I can’t tell you how much I’ve seen a comment about what FDS thinks and it turns out to be in the vein of “FDS abuses men because it expects men to pay for dates.” Basically, co-opting the language of social justice and victimhood under the guise of fake egalitarianism which is super toxic, especially in the context of trying to tear down people so they're more sexually accessible.

It really does get exhausting and the reason why FDS has gotten so big is that men just can't simply accept women have valid reasons to be careful in their dealings with men, and that sex being something to subjugate violence in men is an evil sentiment.