These can all be done sweetly and pleasantly. "No thank you:)". You don't have to be a disagreeable, aloof or cranky bitch while setting a boundary.
Say no to something: this will weed out narcissists almost instantly, and pushy entitled LVM eventually.
State a boundary: eg not taking calls after 9pm or wanting to make your own way home, alone. See if he violates or respects it, or insists that you should make an exception for him.
Refuse to comply with an order or suggestion he makes: eg “Let's sit by the window” - “I'd rather sit in the shade:)”. this will weed out the PUA and redpill LVM, they're looking for women they can order around.
Mention an insecurity: see if he attacks you with it later, even as a “joke” (blood in the water test).
State a preference: eg not drinking alcohol. See if he pushes, wheedles, whines, mocks or interrogates you.
Tell an anecdote where a male disrespected or wronged a woman: eg a mechanic overcharged you, a male boss yelled at a female co-worker. See who he sides with. If he empathizes with, 'devil's advocates' or tries to explain why the perpetrator may have done it, he's putting himself in the male's shoes. He'll never have your back or support you.
State something about your comfort or well-being: eg cold, tired, sore, thirsty, getting sunburned, it's too crowded. See if he does anything to solve it or if he shrugs and doesn't care because he's fine.
Check your emotional state: has he made you feel pity with a sob story? Has he made you feel jealous of other women in his life? Has he made you feel like walking on eggshells so you don't trigger him? Has he made you feel maternal and this poor man can be fixed with your love? Has he made you feel like you'll need to do things you're not comfortable with in order to see him again or keep his interest?
Cut the date short so you can sleep: weeds out the clingy, anxious attachment men, the jealous controlling men, the boundary pushers and the PUA who want to extend the date to multiple locations to create false intimacy and make you think you've been on several dates. Also the men who know that we're susceptible to manipulation the longer we're kept awake. Also the men who only wanted sex that night. Also the men with terrible sleep schedules who don't get up until midday. Also the “sleep deprivation olympics” who think they're heroes for getting 4h a night.
Go to the bathroom after dessert: see how he takes care of the bill. Does he do it quietly? Does he make a big show of it? Does he leave it for you? Does he pretend to “not know and want your input on how you want to handle it”?
Decline any suggestion to have sex on the first date: weeds out fuckboys, redpill, PUA, time-wasters and fleshlight seekers.
If the date went badly: does he insist on following you to your car even though you've made several indications that you'd like to walk alone and split up outside the restaurant? Does he stay and badger you for answers? Does he leave quietly and understand your point of view?
Obviously the HVM move in all these steps is to respect you. Respect your boundaries, wishes, preferences and comfort. Acknowledge what you've said and drop the topic. Respect your time and appreciate the opportunity to even be on a date with you.
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 132 points133 points134 points
(5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Suspicious_Bad_5178FDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Suspicious_Bad_5178FDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PeanutButterPigeon85FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]her-vagestyFDS Newbie 103 points104 points105 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Turbulent_Buffalo_28FDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SimplySharon1215FDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CNhumanFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ComprehensiveAmoeba9FDS Apprentice 147 points148 points149 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]xfelugirlxFDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Risas1239 101 points102 points103 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Impossible_Mud_7599FDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Noemie_MathildeFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GoldandGlowingFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 68 points69 points70 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepysiriFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RufusLaButteFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepysiriFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RufusLaButteFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Suspicious_Bad_5178FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]haggis_risingFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]losersquad711FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]purasangriaFDS Disciple 31 points32 points33 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]shedipityFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link