So I've been dating this guy and checked out his apartment recently. He moved in about a week or two ago, so it's not a big deal to me that it's not fully furnished and some things are still in boxes.

I love interior design and projected a bit lol. I asked if he's excited to decorate his new spot. He got weird and said he doesn't think a guy should decorate his own apartment. Prior to this, he has given me some "men do this and women do that" vibes, so this made it pretty clear. He explained that he thinks if he brings girls over, they'd find it "weird" if the place was fully decorated and furnished. I definitely think he was implying it being "gay", but he didn't say it directly. He said that women want to decorate their guy's apartment because they want a guy who is a "project". I'm literally just laughing inside. Like we are just casually talking and this guy literally tells me he strives to be a project for his future girlfriend. Like we don't have enough projects in our own lives. Ridiculous.

I'm not seeing him further, but find male "logic" fascinating. Putting aside how ridiculous and sexist all that was, it's just bad male strategy in so many ways. Like from my dates, this guy does give me the vibes that he's not full-on fuckboy and wants a real relationship. However, what happens when/if that girl LEAVES? It's a GIRLFRIEND, not a fiance or wife. Like all your decorations remind you of her. Your furniture reminds you of her. It's just a recipe of lonely boy sadness if it doesn't work out with this girlfriend. And you put yourself in that situation. When you strive to be someone's project, I can only imagine how much of your identity is lost at the end of a relationship. This is probably one reason why so many men lose their minds after a breakup.

I just truly value how furnishing and decorating effects your mood and every day life, and this would just be bad strategy on anyone's part. I love interior design and like to vet a guy's apartment to see what their creativity is like in terms of interior design. Like if we were to live together, what would that look like? I would like to build a future home WITH someone, not as a personal project of mine.