His good qualities first

thehappiestelephant · 2021-07-22T03:37:06+00:00

It comes across as an attempt to have the audience develop the same bond as she has so they'll be invested in the relationship enough to tell her how to make it work instead of telling her he's awful and she should be leaving.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-07-22T03:27:53+00:00

It’s such a meme that whenever I see one, the more flowery and glowing her language, the more dread I feel waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like oh god, she wrote that he has an amazing beautiful soul, is sweet and as handsome as Jason Momoa, and gets her so much it’s like they were made for each other. What’s actually wrong with him?! 😰

EternallySlumbering · 2021-07-22T03:31:15+00:00

Yup yup yup! And I find all these “amazing” qualities they list are always the bare minimum! “He’s the most amazing man - he does the dishes sometimes and takes care of the kids too!” … as he should, right? 🙄

Platipus6 · 2021-07-22T04:08:00+00:00

It's so you can focus on helping her change this one thing.

He's great except he's broke! If we can fix him being a dusty bum the relationship would be perfect!

It's not one thing. A ton of things led to this problem. lack of ambition. no employable skills. no motivation. too dumb to write a resume. no desire to do some courses to get skills. unwilling to get a job 'beneath him'. enjoys being a parasite because he hates you Sarah! he has no shame.

LVM say this too, to keep us guilty and sucked in. "Oh wow, you're dumping me over this one thing? You're not willing to give me a chance?"

raphaellastorm · 2021-07-22T04:03:07+00:00

When I was with my LVM ex I was always reminding my friends he was my “best friend” and I loved him because I otherwise was always brutally depressed about how he treated me. It’s definitely a cope.

mashibeans · 2021-07-22T05:12:01+00:00

Those type of posts aggravate the fuck out of me, I have a bit of morbid curiosity so I can't help reading the occasional one (plus want to know all the ways of men's depravity to be on guard for the future), but now I'm forcing myself to not read or at least dwell too much on them.

It's reaaaally annoying when everyone is telling OP that he's no good and they need to break up, and she goes all defensive, snippy and passive aggressive. It's also common for them to start defending the guy up and down, and I hate that even more.

Reminds me of that comic strip where the woman is represented as a beautiful flower with one thorn, and the men/society focus on that one thorn, while men are represented as a huge cactus with a tiiiiiiny flower, and women/society focus on the tiny flower.

neonred1 · 2021-07-22T08:52:14+00:00

I hate reading through those intros. We all know he sucks 😂

Novemberinthechair · 2021-07-22T12:17:49+00:00

I actually read one that started out, "He's really a wonderful feminist..." then suddenly, "Should I be upset that he always calls me a c**y bith monster when I ask him to dry a dish? Also, he said he wished I looked like the women in his porn collection.

"Am I being too picky?"

affectionetter · 2021-07-22T07:22:49+00:00

It's always a surefire way to know you've found an absolute circus and she is being treated like the headline act. Never read a post that begins with that where her bf hasn't been mentally, physically or financially abusing her for months if not years.

veruscka · 2021-07-22T15:53:14+00:00

Trying to justify why they’ve stuck around before they start listing the abusive behavior

melonmagellan · 2021-07-22T18:36:10+00:00

Oh, totally. My husband is not cheap but extremely abusive. I have to do a mental rundown of all the things he's done for me recently to even understand and justify why I'm in the relationship.

He's also good looking and has a good job. So I tell myself frequently that he must be a good guy. Also completely untrue.

It's extremely delusional.

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-07-22T10:31:12+00:00

Maybe we should just start giving out blatantly terrible advice? First things first, book yourself in for a vaginaplasty and take off a millimetre for every guy you’ve had sex with. Next, give him full access to your bank account and he can just give you an allowance from it. Don’t get upset if he watches loads of porn and/or shags other women/your mum. Keep your legs permanently open to him, even when you’re cooking/cleaning/ill/giving birth or he’ll leave you for his side piece/your mum. Get constant plastic surgery to look like an eternal child and for god’s sake let him do anal!! How else do you expect to keep a man? Edit, spelling

Altowhovian93 · 2021-07-22T14:12:12+00:00

The amount of emojis and :)s in those post is usually equal to the amount of red flags in the relationship.

Ok-Appearance5982 · 2021-07-23T02:51:17+00:00

Say that again! It’s so bad.

Title	His good qualities first
Author	anotherdamnloser
Upvotes	478
Comments	28
Date	July 22, 2021 3:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/op5ku0/his_good_qualities_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/his-good-qualities-first.794075 https://theredarchive.com/post/794075

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