Last night I set the boundary with my committed boyfriend of 1 month that I don’t want to be in a relationship with any p0rn consumption. I told him what I think of p0rn use, how my outlook on it is not up for discussion, and how it may lead to an incompatibility since this is a deal breaker for me.

He has only shown HVM green flags up until this point, including not consuming any p0rn. He happily agreed to uphold this boundary moving forward.

I wish that I was more outspoken on this from the moment we started dating. I just want to encourage all the recovering pickmes out there - Set That MF Boundary. There is nothing to lose from speaking your expectations. I felt a surge of respect and love for myself after verbalizing my expectations.

He’s texting me today excited to take me out for dinner on Wednesday. I have never been in a relationship like this with a man who is happy to rise to my standards. That being said, p0rn consumption is something we must always be vetting, because men are depraved and WILL do things behind your back.

This was something that was really difficult for me to set a boundary with, because society sees p0rn consumption as normal, even within relationships. If you Google “how to ask my boyfriend to not watch p0rn” the first 10 results are about how you shouldn’t be “insecure” and jerking off to naked women online is “normal”. About 10 links down is an article about how it’s okay to have a boundary with p0rn use.

I’m interested to hear your thoughts and experiences with setting this boundary with the men in your life.