I'm speechless

Tell-Me-Whyy · 2020-11-19T20:04:11+00:00

Omg .... blatant gaslighting.

Sick of the 'you're so insecure and crazy and paranoid' bullshit

Most women just know when something's off and then they find something legitimately suspicious or bad.

Like um? It's right there!

Squidwrd_Tortellini · 2020-11-19T20:09:57+00:00

Sis should check his DMs and then see if its still a HeR ISsUe

thinktwiceorelse · 2020-11-19T20:35:56+00:00

Good ol' triangulation. He probably doesn't even have a chance with the girl. He just wants his gf to think he has. I remember my ex tried this when we were in LDR, and he casually mentioned he lives in a place where prostitutes take their clients and that he doesn't think it's wrong to be a prostitute. He basically wanted me to think that he might fuck some prostitute, as there was no reason to tell me such a random information.

shoo_coworker · 2020-11-19T19:59:47+00:00

Smh "iTs a YoU pRoBLeM," nevermind the fact that the boyfriend probably knows she can see which pictures he likes and is doing it on purpose as a subtle manipulation tactic to drive her insane. He's probably aching for her to call him out so he can gaslight her with "you're so insecure" and other nonsense.

I'd dump a man as soon as I even suspected he'd be playing games like this.

QueenRizla · 2020-11-19T20:59:41+00:00

How can we help young girls/women have self esteem? This is a question that keeps me up at night. Seriously, this shouldn't even be a post. If someone does this to me, I'm done. Don't engage pretty girls on social media (who aren't friends or family, obviously) - who wants to bet this isn't something a HVM should be explicitly told? Why would a man in a happy relationship who loves and respects his partner, do anything like this? Once you answer this question, you know you're done, right?

If you have low self esteem though, you get on reddit and ask other people, and you can expect pickmes and LVMs to try to drag you down to their level with their advice.

srkambbs1 · 2020-11-19T20:41:28+00:00

Invite her here

kettleodumplins · 2020-11-19T20:36:53+00:00

I'm speechless too. It's a typical narc triangulating off of "just friends" when he has a problem with his SO. Not much to say. GL on that LV marriage.

op3rav3ctra · 2020-11-19T20:47:14+00:00

Ugh this is gross. And I got banned from r/dating_advice for recommending a similar poster learn to value herself and look into FDS...

Less-Panic · 2020-11-19T21:38:55+00:00

The only reason he’s still with this girl is because he can’t have the model that he actually wants. Girl runnnnnn

light_workerx3 · 2020-11-19T21:52:09+00:00

Yeah I commented on this .. I couldn't believe the other comments that were before mine . Pissed me off that they were really telling this girl to go get a prescription like excuse me!? She has every right to feel the way she does . It's just blatant disrespect to like other girls pictures while you're in a relationship !

rebel4acause · 2020-11-20T00:41:20+00:00

Last Halloween, I saw that my (now ex) boyfriend liked a girl's IG photo. I followed her because we go to the same college, so I literally saw he liked her post when I was scrolling down my feed. Over our relationship of a year and a half, that was the ONE sexy photo I ever saw him like (again, it was on my feed, I can only wonder how many he liked that I didn't see). I noticed it, asked him about it, and he told me he "thought her costume was cool." She was dressed as Lara Croft. I thought "fair enough" and let it go.

Well, anyways, months later I found out he slept with her while we were together. So much for being the "chill girlfriend" and ignoring red flags. That will forever be a sensitive spot for me due to the minor trauma I experienced. Now, my brain is like "IG post like = he will cheat on you with her" and it's hard to break.

Listen, if a man likes another woman's post, it may mean and be nothing to you. But don't gaslight other women about it and call them insecure. Shaming women and saying that there is something wrong with them (it's a yOu pRoBlEm) is gross.

Samvanderkamp123 · 2020-11-19T22:58:40+00:00

“My boyfriend definitely isn’t the type to cheat...”

I have nothing to work with here

DoeEyedBrownSkin · 2020-11-19T22:18:29+00:00

So much to unpack here.

1) stop living with men without commitment 2) stop being a forever girlfriend. 1 year max before moving to the next level or next better man. 3) there is not a “type of man who doesn’t cheat”. Men are as loyal as their options! 4) yes, yes, you’re less special to him because you have no back bone and you’re readily available. 5) what should you do? What you should have done 1 year ago is leave. Leave now and never look back.

2020-11-19T20:40:09+00:00

gaslighting 101

Davina33 · 2020-11-19T22:49:41+00:00

Why do they always line up another woman before checking out of the relationship? Can't they be alone? I've never done that before.

Platipus6 · 2020-11-19T23:56:07+00:00

our patriarchal society has taught girls and women certain behaviors and rewarded us for ignoring or “overlooking” certain dangerous character flaws.

Has society reinforced the idea that for women and girls it is more important to be polite than it is to question men’s behaviors that might concern us? That it is more important to accept everyone unconditionally than it is to see who proves trustworthy over time? That it is more important to embrace a supposed JudeoChristian ethic of loving the unlovable than it is to realize that it’s not safe to love everyone?

That it is more important to turn the other cheek than it is to know when boundaries are being violated?

Have we embraced a message that says ignoring our red flags for the sake of fulfilling these rules in our interactions with men is more important than staying alive and healthy?

Fuck people who tell us to ignore our body's alarm system. Even worse, tell us our alarms are a flaw to be rectified.

valleysflower25 · 2020-11-19T21:27:49+00:00

Never Ever Ever date a man with many female friends, that's one of the biggest red flags, been there done that and it wrecked my heart. The man in question is triangulating her with the "friend". He is manipulating her and abusing her mentally by stirring insecurity, thank God I went through all types of players and I can spot this bullshit immediately, she is blamed for the behavior of a potential narcissist, she will get it eventually and she will learn like I did.

morrigan1618 · 2020-11-19T23:21:20+00:00

I see so many posts like this. Tbh, a grown man using social media to this level is a huge turn off. I can't even picture my husband being on freaking Instagram or Snapchat without laughing. The fact that this is even an issue in an adult relationship is disturbing.

2020-11-20T03:24:18+00:00

"While you better yourself"

🤨🤔

saltedpretzel2 · 2020-11-20T11:53:43+00:00

This is something that I just won't tolerate, and I have notices SO many men doing this shit. Even just guys I am friends with on insta (some in relationships, some single).

I was in a relationship for 5 years and never saw him follow any porn stars / girls in lingerie on insta, and certainly not like their photos! I got my first dose of it when I dated someone again after my long term relationship ended. We only lasted 4 months because he kept liking girls shit on insta, and I kept complaining about it, (this was before I ever found FDS) but I wasn't going to put up with it. He eventually broke up with me because I kept complaining about it. Fine, enjoy your unattainable insta girls lol. I just find it disrespectful that a guy in a relationship would be liking photos of girls in lingerie for everyone on his newsfeed to see... like, why do you HAVE to do that???? And if he just looked, and didn't LIKE the photo, I woulda been none the wiser... It has to be a disrespectful thing, cause its like he WANTS people to see he's liking the pics..? He turned out to be a massive narcissist btw and had lied to me about heaps of stuff during the relationship.

I noticed this behaviour in another guy I was talking to recently. I noticed that he had liked his ex's photo and commented on it, so then I started snooping around, and when he did it a second time I just liked his comment and told him we shouldnt talk anymore & deleted him off everything. I had a look through his following list afterwards and noticed he followed heaps of porn accounts on there too.

It seems to be a certain personality type that does this shit. And as soon as I see that behavour, I know they arent worth dealing with.... it was a shitty lesson to learn but Im glad I learnt it. Cutting the last guy off was easy as pie as I caught him early :)

2020-11-21T14:13:48+00:00

Her reply to the comment terrified me, see how ready she is to believe she is wrong! She basically prefers to be unconfident/clingy/obsessive/problematic rather than somebody approving her doubts, because then she would have to face the reality..

anotherdamnloser · 2020-11-20T02:41:10+00:00

Ho-ly crap those comments. Horrible horrible. It’ll only get worse

typeadhd · 2020-11-20T06:50:13+00:00

What the fuck is this

If he can’t stop liking photos of girls when they are in a relationship because it bothers her then I-

Is this a ridiculous demand I mean if the situation was flipped and she was liking shirtless models and whatever else that he felt uncomfortable about he would have a fit over it. Sis naw you can’t allow this shit I mean, girl. If it bothers you, he has to get rid of it of course if it’s within reason and stuff but clearly this is inappropriate

Title	I'm speechless
Author	dreitzzen
Upvotes	171
Comments	32
Date	November 19, 2020 7:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jx9wp8/im_speechless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-speechless.333593 https://theredarchive.com/post/333593

Comments