I'm sure we have all experienced this especially coercing you into sex because they're upset you don't like them

barbedwiredaisycrown · 2021-05-18T12:52:09+00:00

This is something every empathetic woman needs to read. The day I quit caring about men's emotions (read: the emotions of men who want to fuck me) was the day I quit feeling pickme urges and betrayed when they obviously didn't mean what they said.

I had an ex who I was still waiting at 4 months with. This dude actually had full crying breakdowns multiple times (ironically enough about a traumatic accident he was responsible for) likely hoping I would finally give in and "comfort" him with some sex. After realizing this I dumped him. Boy get yourself a therapist. Funnily enough these emotions that could only be resolved with sex never came out in public, around friends, or while driving/doing tasks. Almost like the surfacing of those feelings was always very conveniently when we were alone...

radsera99 · 2021-05-18T13:10:21+00:00

You wanna break up? Instant breakdown, crying, talking about how depressed they are etc. You want him to change his shit behaviour? Crying, using poor mental health as an excuse. You want him to stop watching porn? Will guilt trip u by saying u don’t satisfy him

laffytaggy · 2021-05-18T13:06:22+00:00

Thats how my ex got me- he was emotional, sensitive etc and every guy I dated never showed emotion like that. I took emotion = vulnerability = genuine feelings for me. But it was simply a way to control and manipulate me.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-05-18T13:20:11+00:00

Right? If you want emotional support- expect just that and NOT sex.

Just tell those men that sex is not a healthy coping mechanism in such situations and you do not want to be a rapist and take advantage of them while they are vulnerable.

Maybe that makes them shut up and stops them from calling you manipulative

(plus, it is true, do not ever use sex to "resolve" trauma, it is mostly just further traumatizing)

tactical_viper · 2021-05-18T13:41:51+00:00

My ex would never wanna talk about anything important or CoMmUnIcAtE about the problems in our relationship, but suddenly we’re all emotional and sensitive when it’s a “no” for sex. He would mope around the house all day acting like someone killed his dog after I reprimanded him for the millionth time over groping me randomly. Then the classic case of, “comfort me over the consequences of MY actions.”

rayne_chi · 2021-05-18T13:26:17+00:00

Seriously. The most emotional men I’ve dated were just emotional when it was time to manipulate me.

ProfessorWinterberry · 2021-05-18T12:33:03+00:00

Or beating you down with their emotions to keep you in line.

My NVM-ex used to do that. He'd cry and yell and threaten me whenever I didn't comply with his demands 🤦🏻‍♀ once he "cried" in his sleep about being scared of me breaking it off. He'd weaponize his trauma and tough childhood too. It was my first relationship, so I bought it hook and line. Good riddance to him.

QueasyEducation5 · 2021-05-18T13:23:19+00:00

This is completely accurate. I’m coming to the realization that I’ve been manipulated with his ‘anxiety’ for two years. All while my mental health took a complete nosedive!

CynicalSucculent · 2021-05-18T15:37:01+00:00

I remember my ex using his dog dying as a reason for me to never voice my feelings or concerns.

He used to full on grope me and lick my face in public and every time I asked him to not do that in front of people, it was "hOw cOUld yOu dO tHis tO mE???? mY dOg dIEd wHEn I wAs 10!!!"

You can't even make this stuff up.

Softrito · 2021-05-18T16:07:04+00:00

I had a guy say that if he could ask a favor from me since he had a bad day. I asked what it was and he asked for a booty pic. I feel like all guys do shit like this to test how far a woman would ride for him. They are honestly repulsive.

cakewalkofshame · 2021-05-18T12:59:45+00:00

Ooooof yeah. Emotions are easy enough to fake. I don't know why I believe men to be sincere with them.

fdssavedmylife · 2021-05-18T17:30:56+00:00

Well, this was another one of my many lightbulb moments since joining FDS. This makes so much sense. They prey on our best qualities, our empathy and compassion. They’re sick.

Aksentia_Ivanovitcha · 2021-05-18T17:06:09+00:00

Mine would say crying is painful to him, i never saw him actually cry only his eyes would glisten. He claimed it's painful for men to cry. As is evident by the comments here it is really not a problem for men to cry lol.. i think that a man who claims he cannot cry is also a red flag. They withold their emotions to a sick degree, prevent actual emotional connection in order to maintain control over their partner (and their life in general, but no woman has to take part in this).

motioncaptureF · 2021-05-18T16:04:04+00:00

Girl I remember my ex made me send nudes to him bcoz his sister's wedding planning had some issues so according to him, jerking off would take his mind off that shit ! And I happily did 🤡 saying do let me know if you want more again 🤡 bcoz I thought he was being vulnerable ... Now I look back and hate him with every cell of my body... A normal human would've just wanted my presence or emotional support not nudes to take his mind off 🤮

SmallBunny0 · 2021-05-18T21:28:24+00:00

One time this guy I was talking to was involved in a public mass shooting and his best friend died. 3 days later he reached out asking for nudes and videos to distract him from his friends death. Disgusting

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-18T18:11:21+00:00

Hoo boy.

Title	I'm sure we have all experienced this especially coercing you into sex because they're upset you don't like them
Author	carachu
Upvotes	226
Comments	41
Date	May 18, 2021 9:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nf66cq/im_sure_we_have_all_experienced_this_especially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-sure-we-have-all-experienced-this-especially.753326 https://theredarchive.com/post/753326

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