Hi Ladies! The importance of keeping yourself safe comes up all the time, but how many of us have been in situations when you look back and say “this could have really ended badly?”

  • Lock your car door immediately upon entering your car. I’m from Cali, where car jacking are the norm, but I’ve also seen first hand women opening the car door so other women get pulled out and beat up; and men forcefully entering a car under the premise of wanting a phone number or not wanting the conversation to end. (The latter happened to me when I was 15 or so, I was riding with my friend and a 25 year old that she knew (but I didn’t) opened the door and tried to drag me out for my phone number.) I also don’t roll down the window when someone wishes to speak to me, I can hear them just fine. Same with my door. Living in NYC has taught me to never open the door, you can hear each other just fine. I’ve had plenty of conversations through a closed door lol.

  • walk with speed and purpose when going home late at night. I don’t speak to anyone, I can’t give you directions, I actually will walk around you, I will turn around if I need to.

  • make sure your windows and doors are safe. My mom, being from New York but living in California , hated the locks on my house growing up and replaced locks with deadbolts (which was unheard of in my small town) and bought mini locks for the sliding doors and windows. We had the sliding doors that if you jimmied them (slightly lifted up and moved) they would open. The little locks, or even a broomstick handle, prevented the jimmy.

  • do not allow adults to speak to your children without telling you who they are. Do not allow your children to wave at their fathers friends, and you don’t know who they are. One day, my daughter waved at a man. I didn’t see who it was because it happened quickly so I asked her who was he. She said “Daddy’s friend.” I told her not to wave at a man again, tf? Same with women, my exhusband has women🙄 sometimes approaching my daughter and I’m like “I don’t know you, don’t speak to my child.” They are always taken aback at my vicious nature lol but who speaks to a child knowing their parent is there and you’ve never met her? Issa no.

  • Try to wear proper footwear or at least bring it along. Walking alone at 3 in the morning with flip flops won’t help you if you get mugged or followed.

  • if your ex wants to meet up, try to do it in a public place and don’t get in the car with him. I always laughed this off until one day I got into the car with an ex and he went crazy. Driving recklessly, screaming, punching his phone, etc. I’ve even read stories on Reddit about women letting their ex in for “closure” and they get their ass beat. One woman’s story,(I’ll never forget it) she said he ex beat her for an hour straight and never spoke while doing it.

We get comfortable in our surroundings, even me, I’m not from nyc but have lived here for over 20 years. But I remember that this city is high crime and when I visit home in California, it is also high crime. Just different types of crimes. Does anyone have any stories/rules to add? Please comment below. Be safe out there.