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EmpressOfDankness
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie154 points155 points156 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
How am I still straight
[–]Mayonegg420FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girrrrrl I’m really about to not be.
[–]estu0FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Hi, bisexual here. Dating women mostly sucks too
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree. But I would also say it tends to suck a bit less imo. When women are pushy it's annoying, but they don't bother me as much as men have. When women are aggressive I'm not as scared as I have been about men.
Many of the things people say that annoys them when dating men/weeding men out I've noticed with women too.
Things like not taking no for an answer (so you have to block them), low effort messages "wyd?" and making things too sexual too fast. Some just come off as predatory.
I'm not on dating sites, but I've received interest from women that were also on the same wlw discussion/meme groups I'm in (these groups are not meant for dating, but nothing is stopping people from sending dms of course). 4 out of the 5 women that approached me this year were at least 10 years older than me. I'm 35 and one was 45, another 52, another 54 and another 62 (!). The person that was not 10 years older than me was in fact 10 years younger than me. And she was the most annoying of all of them. I eventually blocked her and the 54 year old.
[–]estu0FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg absolutely. Another thing I’ve experienced is bi-curious girls wanting to have (probably terrible) sex with me to “confirm” their sexuality or het couples automatically assuming I’m down for a threesome. These people basically saw me as a sex robot without thoughts and feelings
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hate it when I get approached for threesomes. Luckily I have not put myself in the position where this could happen often (I've never gone on dating sites). I'm immediately offended when I'm approached for this purpose. The women choose someone that isn't so beautiful that it makes them insecure, but not so ugly that their man won't want to fuck em. You're only there to "rekindle" or "save" their relationship, most of the women aren't into women. You're just a sex toy, a third wheel, so the guy gets to basically cheat with his gf there. She thinks she's doing damage control by offering the carrot on a stick of the threesome (aka threesome carrot).
I want to respond with the venom they deserve "sure, I'll accept my role as a fuck toy for some emotionless sex with a man who doesn't know or care about me and a woman who is pretending to be into women.". Whether they claim to be het or bi, the large majority of threesomes are just about pleasing the person who has the dick. But I opt to say "no thanks, that's not for me. Good luck on your search" instead because if you reject her proposal in any other way that isn't textbook politeness she's likely to say how you were ugly to begin with.
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How so?
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Note that your dating pool is SIGNIFICANTLY smaller. If you had as many women to date as straight men, maybe you’d be chiming different bells.
Also, I believe that women are slowly opening up to the idea of dating other women, but most ladies are still scared of what their parents/community will think so they end up being terrible dating partners for other women
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Good point. The wlw dating pool is a small stagnant pond. It's tiny compared to the amount of hetero men.
If I went looking I'm pretty sure I'd have trouble finding a woman (bi or lesbian) who is around my age, in my tiny country and my type and still single. I'd have to fish in the right places and have a whole lot of patience.
Meanwhile bi women are still getting approached by lots of het men. And people question it when bi women end up with men, they say "you weren't really bi then, just doing it for the attention" whilst completely ignoring what's really responsible for this phenomenon. Mostly it's just numbers. Tiny pool vs huge pool with waves of men approaching you. Men pursue more aggressively as well imo.
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
very good point in the end. The pool of women available for other women to date is much smaller than men for gay/bi men, the nature of the game unfortunately... however, i suspect that as time goes on, and the number of eligible bachelors dwindles further AND society is more open to LGBTQ couples, things might change, particularly for white collar woman wanting a companion who fits their lifestyle
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if the pool of gay/bi men is bigger than the pool of bi/gay women. Just that the pool of gay/bi women is tiny compared to the pool of het men.
Would be nice if the pool of gay/bi women increased.
[–]FutileDeathStar4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please tell me more about why you think so!
I'm also bi, and I don't get to meet that many women, so I've not fared well there either. But I'd like to know your reasons!
[–]Anotherface95FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh I hated dating as a bi.
[–][deleted] 109 points110 points111 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Never again
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell yeah! 🙌
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]CorruptSoulGemFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let him do those things alone and get a proper man. 😂
[–]endorphins_FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I want a man that actually calls it a date. No “hang outs” or “meet ups”
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, meet ups, hang outs and splitting the bill 50/50 is for friends, colleagues and room mates, not someone you're expecting sexual and other unpaid labor from. They probably realize how lame and shameful ”I took her out on a date at [generic fast food chain]”. It radiates low standard energy and makes women cringe in 10 mile radius.
[–]Dont_Settle_for_LessFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would just stop talking to them after taco bell
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like something a 12 year old would do.
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
They are testing us when they do this shit. How little can they get away with providing and still have us? Its disgusting.
[–]Dianageorgiadis33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
LMAO I have never and will never watch anyone play video games. WTF is that about?
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s called “my boyfriend thinks this is an acceptable way to spend time with me and I’m too pathetic to demand better”. - signed, a former PickMe
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well if it’s an activity you’re actually doing together I think it’s different. I was just waiting for him to want to notice me lol
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]vaginakween68FDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I will never date a gamer again .. I’ve had a similar experience. They’re so angry and shitty
[–]vereelimeeFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don't game, then it makes no sense. When I was little I was unable to beat the games so I'd watch my siblings. Until I got older and could play, but I would still watch sometimes since strategy matters.
I never had interest in FPS, shooting style games. The games I play are puzzle based like Zelda or cute like Animal Crossing. Zelda tends to be really hard and we'd take turns trying to get through a hard part and not die. My sister and I still play this way.
However, just watching and not playing at all. That's something I would not accept.
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I am 29 and never been taken on a date like this. Only low effort, cheap restaurants where we split the bill and I take the bus. I have settled for so little 😔
[–]confused_desklampPickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Don't ever offer to split the bill, especially at a cheap restaurant. I usually don't leave the house with more than a $5 in cash when I head out to a date. I can pay for an uber if I need to and $5 is enough for emergency gas, tampons, public transit, etc.
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, nowadays I wouldn't. I haven't dated since I broke up from a horrible relationship last December, and now it's not even really possible to have proper dates. Also in my country very few men do anything nice for women, because it's one of the epicentres of "absolute equality" and men take advantage of not having to do "manly" stuff where as more and more women run basically everything, have babies alone and build their careers. I will rather be single forever than settle anymore, I deserve to be treated like a desirable woman that I am. It's just disappointing to see these lame ass LVM in action, I don't even wanna go there anymore. I want something great, and if I don't get great, I will live my life as it is.
[–]confused_desklampPickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I never thought about countries with the "absolute equality" gender standards working out that way in dating, too, but it makes absolute sense.
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, it definitely brings us the one of the best qualities in life in the world, but in dating it's awful. Men offer nothing and in exchange they expect everything. No wonder we have such a low birth rate and cities are full of single people. And although we have such strong equality, our country is still in the top 3 of most dangerous countries for a women to live in the EU. Men here are generally reserved, love their alcohol, and after a few drinks they start beating up and killing their wives. Been there done that, my ex didn't need alcohol though.
[–]ilike2snapFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wasted 5 years of my youth watching a boy play video games. Never again. Not even once.
[–]PumpkinSubFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Romance is essential to a thriving relationship. Never settle.
[–]snowvemberFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Once went to a dude’s house for a date (before I learnt of FDS). He said he was gonna cook but he overslept for the date and didn’t end up cooking. Ordered in and he wanted to keep MY LEFTOVERS for the next day and chided me for wasting food? Like tf we only knew each other for a month. His internet kept disconnecting too while we were watching netflix. Turns out he didnt even have internet and was freeloading off of his neighbour. Never again.
[–]Desperate-NectarineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Once I went to my bf’s house and he started playing video games so I asked him why he invited me over, and then I left.. Why would you stay?
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Real question: is there something wrong with me that the idea of being told “I have plans for us, I’ll pick you up at ____, wear something nice” sparks anxiety in me? Why don’t I get to know what we’re doing or where we’re going?
[–]RavenJaybelleFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Have you been in a controlling relationship before? If so, anytime a partner (or potential partner) speaks to you in a way that sounds like an order or appears to strip you of input or control in a situation, it can feel triggering. My therapist always reminds me that "your brain will demand reassurance of safety before feeling comfortable for connection." So, if there is a history of living with control (or maybe having seen it in your parents' dynamic), your mind will interpret a well-meaning gesture of "I've made plans for us" as "I'm telling you how we are spending our time and I decided this on my own without asking for your opinion."
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I think you’re right. Without giving too much detail on my past relationships and examples of relationships growing up, that’s not too far fetched. Thank you! I appreciate your perspective, maybe it’s something I should bring up in my own therapy as well!
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Saying something's wrong with you sounds harsh to me. But I think it's at least strange to get that much anxiety if we're assuming a situation where you know and like this person and want to go out on another date with him. If you distrust the person so much, there shouldn't be a date. To me it just sounds exciting. If it's not actual anxiety and it's maybe just disliking surprises, that can be understandable.
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! It felt harsh coming out, but I know this is such a compassionate community. I think you’re right, with trust it could be exciting, but if the trust isn’t there it’s a different story.
[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yikes
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sadly this is so universally true smh
[–]notyocuppaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol 🤡🤡
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How are you ladies getting struck in watching video games? most guys are upfront with me and say they want to hit that.
[–]JenloubakFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do we all relate to this shit. Hooley dooley
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[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie154 points155 points156 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mayonegg420FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]estu0FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]estu0FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GreenTeaPopcornFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FutileDeathStar4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anotherface95FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 109 points110 points111 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayathrowaway0FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]CorruptSoulGemFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]endorphins_FDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dont_Settle_for_LessFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackgirlwandersFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dianageorgiadis33 points34 points35 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]whatismedicineFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]vaginakween68FDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vereelimeeFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]confused_desklampPickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]confused_desklampPickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ilike2snapFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PumpkinSubFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]snowvemberFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Desperate-NectarineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RavenJaybelleFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]radical__daphneRuthless Strategist17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]notyocuppaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JenloubakFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link