Many women with tastes outside the feminine mainstream find themselves regularly in the company of men. Anime, hiking, hunting, engineering, fishing, architecture and software development are some examples of male dominated hobby fields. So having men as friends is not uncommon today.

However, male friends are different from female friends. The emotions can be very different. Men ARE different from women and this difference can rise to the surface in male / female friendships.

Take, for example, New Jersey student Sarah Stern. Stern was friends with two men, Liam McAtasney and Preston Taylor, for much of her life. The trio were photographed together on prom etc. Sarah inherited money from her mother that she kept secret, but she told her trusted male friends about it in 2016. Sarah had a habit of meeting Liam and Preston alone in her home, and telling them very intimate details about her life. How she wanted to run away to Canada, for example. After hearing some of these details, including about her financial situation, Liam McAtasney decided to rob and kill his so-called "best friend". For a few grand. Preston, who Sarah had dated briefly, agreed to drive the getaway vehicle and help Liam stage her suicide. Preston and Liam were roommates and were able to plot together. These were not people Sarah knew only a short time (although that would not make it any better). These were two men Sarah considered trusted friends, who knew her, her family, where she lived, how she grew up etc. Stern's body has never been found after being dragged and dumped off a bridge in Jersey in late 2016. Both men were tried in 2019.

Just because you are friends with a man, that will not shield you from his vices, nor will it prevent you from being a victim of violence or murder. Men are naturally more volatile and violent than women are. Men think VERY DIFFERENTLY about women than women think about men, and any attempt at equalizing these feelings is misplaced.

I wanted to share the story of Sarah Stern to show that male friendships are not necessarily without risk. This is not a new story, see also the Maribel Ramos case.

Should you share your financial situation with a male friend who has engaged in romantic overtures to you in the past? No, sharing financial details is generally unwise. And, as recent FDS posts have shown, women and men build intimacy in different ways. Sharing intimate details about your life to men does not necessarily build intimacy with them.

How did your friendships with men turn out? Are there any red flags that other women can learn to avoid in friendships with men? Are there any green flags in friendships with HVM?