Men thinking we owe them a relationship

eveninghope · 2020-08-11T13:23:47+00:00

I had a lot of guy friends in college bc of mutual interests and the one thing I learned was that any modicum of kindness or sociability is read as FlIrTInG. I think this says more about how men treat each other than how women treat men.

Villanelloh · 2020-08-11T13:25:03+00:00

I wanted to ask him what exactly the "flirting" was because I bet it was something as simple as "Good morning"

tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-11T13:56:41+00:00

Hardest thing about being friendly to a man. They think you like them, meanwhile you never gave any inclination, talk about other men, and never approach them in that way. Yet, they still think it.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-08-11T14:16:31+00:00

[deleted]

porgyworgy · 2020-08-11T13:15:10+00:00

It’s not a big deal to me if they start ignoring me since most men are such unsatisfying conversationalists anyway.

What pisses me off is when they get passive aggressive. I told a guy off last week that we didn’t have to text if he was finding the conversation unfulfilling. Just because we matched on a dating app and had good conversation doesn’t mean I have to be romantically interested in you.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-08-11T16:25:57+00:00

I learned to treat men with business like indifference. I don't return smiles or friendliness when it's just a random guy I rarely see or probably won't see again. It has really cut down on men acting weird around me.

I went out kayaking with an acquaintance recently and that did not go well. I 100% did not flirt with this man but he's clearly interested and kept sending me cringey texts that I would ignore. The last long and embarrassing text I responded with "wow that was a lot lol" and thankfully he's now leaving me the hell alone. Idiots

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-08-11T12:32:42+00:00

I agree with the post you linked though. I wouldn’t waste my time with a man doing what she does. Maybe it’s because I experienced the same type of bizarre coworker. Heavily flirted, teasing, we went out on one date that ended up being super awkward and he told me he wasn’t into me. Then later he still wanted my attention and to flirt. He just wanted the ego boost, boy byeee.

Where I would agree with you are the cases where the man had been actual friends with the woman and confessed feelings she didn’t reciprocate. Then he gets all bitter Nice Guy and cuts off their friendship because if she doesn’t give him pussy then she’s worthless, leaving her confused and heartbroken. In those situations yes, I agree with you.

Neorago · 2020-08-11T16:15:34+00:00

I really wish the guys I've rejected would leave me alone.

I met a guy on a dating site pre FDS, he lured me in by pretending to like something I like, I wasn't attracted to him. I spoke to him for about 2 days when I was still a pickme but then after he started saying weird things I unfriended him, unmatched and blocked everywhere I had him. He later liked me on another dating app but I did not like back. I joined a new dating site and he has just messaged me (again, I did not like him back but they can message) saying hey small world.

I feel harassed and upset tbh I want him to leave me alone! I do not want to engage with him and ask him to leave me alone, I made it clear when I blocked and deleted him that I wasn't interested. Why can't he get that.

ginnapp · 2020-08-11T16:03:47+00:00

To be honest, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who acted with pettiness. Their loss, not mine

ethnicallyabiguous · 2020-08-11T15:04:06+00:00

*Men think we owe them sexual favor.

Most don’t want a relationship. They would have to invest time and energy. They want access.

VelvetKnuckleduster · 2020-08-11T13:01:09+00:00

I mean, if you genuinely liked the person wouldn't you want to continue to be friends and not because you feel like you should? If they have qualities you wanted in your life so much wouldn't you still want them in your life in a platonic way? Spending time away from someone because it's painful is one thing but more often it seems like they never really cared about or respected you all that much and you're better off not trying to be friends.

That post honestly reads like the the woman was just being friendly, he read it wrong and cut her off after she let him down gently. I've been in situations exactly like that before.

divination__ · 2020-08-11T16:27:00+00:00

though i agree with the guys sentiment, i do wonder what he means by 'not owing someone your friendship'. to me, that would mean being cordial when necessary but not expending any effort on spending time with or speaking to them. i think there are plenty of men who would interpret that as being purposefully antagonistic or making things so awkward in a friendship group that people resent the person who rejected you. i think far more men react adversely to rejection and bitterly as they project their bruised ego whereas women internalise that but are able to be relatively pleasant externally. i think the reason most women say 'we can stay friends' after rejection is not because they expect you to be their emotional support, but they mea 'lets remain cordial and try not to make things awkward for others'.

BabyGothQ · 2020-08-12T04:40:39+00:00

His update makes it sound like she was enjoying friendly chat, he deliberately went out of his way to go talk to her and was jealous when another man was spotted having a conversation with her.

puppy-guppy · 2020-08-11T18:38:26+00:00

Also, I find other females can add to this by assuming I'm into a guy if I do normal things like laugh at his jokes or treat him like a normal person. It can get really frustrating when to me thats just the way I expect to be treated and how I treat other human beings.

sadcello · 2020-08-11T13:27:48+00:00

[removed]

Title	Men thinking we owe them a relationship
Author	mysthios
Upvotes	257
Comments	36
Date	August 11, 2020 12:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i7qlw0/men_thinking_we_owe_them_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-thinking-we-owe-them-a-relationship.66849 https://theredarchive.com/post/66849

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