Never try to change a man.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-06-05T11:45:15+00:00

People do change but only for themselves. If someone's not feeling it inside, no one can make them. This is why you have to leave if a person is not up to your standards or just not a good fit concerning personality or lifestyle.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-06-05T14:57:13+00:00

This is why I get frustrated with church; when the (male) teachers go on about how a gentle and submissive spirit will bring a husband out of sinning. NOT!!! What will bring him out is HIM deciding to act right regardless of how submissive his wife is!!!!!

daisies4dayz · 2021-06-05T16:55:32+00:00

Was with my ex for 6 years. He got a job offer in LA which was his dream city and he asked me to move out there with him.

When he got the offer he had no money to his name, basically just enough for the flight out there. So being the loving woman that I was, I ponied up first and last months rent on a place out there so he could start work not homeless. Quit my job and said goodbye to my friends and family and moved 3000 miles away a few weeks later and spent even more money buying furniture and household items so we weren’t sleeping and eating off of the floor.

Figured he would be more than happy to bear the financial burden for a couple months while I looked for a new job and take his turn being the provider.

Fuck was I wrong. He was cheap and selfish with his money. I struggled finding work and he just watched me financially and emotionally suffer. Still for some reason expected me to be pulling out my card to cover groceries and taxis and shit despite him being the only one earning money. For some reason. 🤷🏻‍♀️

2months in and he finally comes out with “I don’t see myself marrying you”. After 6 years of telling me he did.

Never the fuck again. This was 12 years ago, long before I had a FDS awakening. Selfish dudes are selfish. No amount of loving them and supporting them is going to make them see you for the gem you are. It just fuels their mindset that you are a fool that can be used (for money, sex, emotional labor, whatever they need). Your needs are always secondary.

Always prioritize yourselves ladies.

betsybasset · 2021-06-05T10:31:45+00:00

100%. Hard enough to change oneself, don't fool yourself you can change others.

Forest_Fanatic · 2021-06-05T12:53:31+00:00

This is spot on. I've also noticed that men seem to EXPECT those first five things as being pretty much mandatory for women to provide him with (bangmaid, madonna, chef, giver, therapist). That means even if you decide to do them, he still doesn't view you as being anything particularly special. Meanwhile, the bar for men is practically under the ground at this point.

Fun fact: stop doing the first one on the list because he's decided he doesn't care to 'act right' and, even if you still do the other four and more, he'll now declare that you don't love him and are therefore just roommates and he's free to see other people. Ask me how I know 🤦‍♀️

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-06-05T16:17:02+00:00

Never ever date a man who hasn’t gone to therapy and worked on himself, and never date a man with no goals or aspirations.

Zurflu · 2021-06-05T14:32:19+00:00

Oh man. I haven't seen this as much lately for some reason, but remember when every pickme and kinkme on social media was posting about how they have a magic p-ssy that can make men bow to their every wish because of how much better it is than every other p-ssy? I swear it was like a trend to proclaim that 🤣

You could be the #1 most popular p*rn star in the world with the prettiest genitals ever seen and he'll still lock himself in the bathroom to jerk off to others if that's who he is 🤷‍♀️

europoor24 · 2021-06-05T11:40:52+00:00

truer words have never been spoken

Minkiemink · 2021-06-05T15:19:54+00:00

There is no such thing as "potential". There is only the reality of who someone is right now. Thinking that anything you do will somehow magically cause a man to snap out of it, see the light or change his ways is a fools game. Just say no.

Jadzzia · 2021-06-05T15:39:18+00:00

A-fucking-men! Sorry for the foul language loves, but I feel this in my very soul. He will only ever change if it is in HIS best interest; like behaving before marriage to lock you down and then promptly going back to his old ways; like love bombing through pregnancy and then leaving you alone with kiddo cause he needs a “break”, “works SoOo HaRd!”

Always look out for No.1 YOU! God knows they do.

PenneyPence · 2021-06-05T16:21:15+00:00

I always logically understood this, but I struggled with the belief that he would choose to change if I was “good enough.” Don’t fall into this trap. Don’t beat yourself up for something that is not your responsibility or problem. Don’t tell yourself that he changed for the next person. It’s all a lie. There is nothing you could have done and no other person you could have been. You are good enough.

queenagave · 2021-06-05T14:45:52+00:00

I met a coworker yesterday and I asked him "if your wife says this bothers me, how many times does it take for you to change?" And he shrugged, laughed and said "depends what it is. If I want to change, 1 or 0 times. If I don't want to, she could tell me all day and I wouldn't do anything."

Rowbloks · 2021-06-05T16:44:38+00:00

This might be controvertial, but I believe that leaving a man (for a long time) can also make him change.

People often don't realize how much something is worth unless they lose it, and I think that one of the biggest mistakes that women make is: they stay by his side and try to be supportive even when he's being terrible. Just to earn the title of a wife who riDes Or diEs with him.

The truth is that you gain NOTHING from being his ride or die. Except things like if he wanted to dump you today, he might think of your ride or die-ness and be a little bit emotional and dump you next month instead. Either way you're still getting dumped.

When they think that they just might lose you, that's when they start to shape up.

But I must admit that "shape up" is not necessarily forever. Many guys just shape up for some time, until they get comfortable again once they see that they can get away with it, because you trust him again. That's why you need to leave for a long time, and then leave again the second that he shows signs of being too comfortable.

alphasquish · 2021-06-05T21:03:56+00:00

If he wants to, he will.

i8twobugs · 2021-06-05T15:31:08+00:00

Can confirm. I stopped waiting. Edit.... no.... I stopped TRYING.

16February2021 · 2021-06-06T09:36:24+00:00

For pikmeishas, how to find out he was LVM: After break up he will do all to improve himself, go to gym, get that new haircut, start looking into education or career change, eating better etc

These scrotes always make me go mad. Like seriously, you could have just been a better partner and then the relationship would have survived.

Title	Never try to change a man.
Author	RoyalStay
Upvotes	2475
Comments	27
Date	June 5, 2021 10:24 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nssrgx/never_try_to_change_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-try-to-change-a-man.780151 https://theredarchive.com/post/780151

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