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hahsatan72
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right? I’d rather be single every day if the week than stuck in a shitty relationship looking after kids and a manchild.
[–]kimmysradscreenameFDS Newbie112 points113 points114 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Be picky early on! It's so much easier to avoid a bad marriage than it is to leave one.
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This should be on billboards around the country.
Along with Megan Thee Stallion's lyrics "Neva let a broke scrote* sex me!" Because it's 100% logical to not expose your reproductive system to a man who is unable to support a child. You are precious, dear! If he can't pay for childcare, it's self-care not to take that chance.
[–]SavingsStrength0FDS Newbie217 points218 points219 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’d rather end up single than with a ZVM. You’re just adding stress to your life and having to take care of another child, if you do decide have kids with him. No ty!
[–]honcho713FDS Newbie52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Worst case scenario you end up living happily ever after with /r/WGTOW.
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is the term ZVM new?
[–]SavingsStrength0FDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Idts? It’s been on the subs handbook “terms” for a while now
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ah! I must have forgotten it, thanks!
[–]ydoiexistlolidkFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No worries on that, it's not often used in favor of LVM or NVM
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Disciple65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Plenty of married women are, for all terms and purposes, single or single moms; too many absent fathers who just do fuck-all around the house.
In fact it's worse, since he expects her to cater to him too with sex and emotional labor (on top of already picking up after his messes, cooking for him, etc)
Might as well just have a kid by yourself, at least there's no man to pull you down.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
when you start to think of marriage as it actually is, a contract regulated by law & state, you tend to clear your head of any emotionally induced errors. It is really sad that women go into this bond with their heads filled with intangible things such as love and passion and attraction and when they get married, most of them do not even consider divorce. When you enter a contract you need to read the fine script and document yourself about its dissolution as well. It is a contract and should be regarded as objectively as possible! After reading the FDS handbook, you realize that the advice is there for a purpose: go into a relationship with a clear head and get the outcome best for you. FDS is very clear about one thing: whatever is best for you may not be what you were taught by society from an early age. It is a very different mode of thinking if you strive for hypergamy. Scientifically, marriage benefits men more than women because this is how society pushed marriage to be: a contract that has bonus points for the wellbeing of men. If you strive for hypergamy and enter a marriage contract with a clear head and a well-set list of what you want, then it can be beneficial for you as a woman as well. I am still trying to rid myself of "mutually beneficial" thinking that I was primed for since early on in life because when you wake up from this zombie-like stupor, you realize that what society pushes as mutually beneficial, actually benefits men more. it is time to change that. And it is right, and FDS teaches it from the beginning: the way you start an encounter defines how it will end. If I let my dog chew on my shoes once, the dog will chew a second and a third time. I know it is quite callous, this comparison with the dog, but if you start a date with a man and slip out of your hypergamous mindset once, it is near impossible to achieve it afterward.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All truths, sister
most of them do not even consider divorce
This is mostly because they've been gaslit by all of society, which as you say benefits men, to stay with him "through thick and thin" "in sickness and in healthy" "ride or die" all bullshit that men have twisted to make women stay until they are either literally dead, or squeezed out of all their valuable resources.
Men leave women for absolutely bullshit, they are encouraged to. Women are demonized for even daring to do so.
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
it might sound really amusing but even though I learned about it in law school, only recently I began thinking about it like this. it is fascinating how as young girls we are primed to want romance. we want to fall in love, to meet prince charming and most of us do fall in love and meet someone that seems like prince charming. and some get married. and not once does the thought of divorce cross their minds until they are left for dead and cheated and made fools of. finally, they get to hire expensive divorce lawyers to clear the fog and rescue their asses. love is like a business and women need to enter it fully aware of the potential losses. every woman for herself, because when she's fighting over custody and assets with the former "love of her life" she will realize that if it were legal, he would make her disappear. I've seen some ugly things and got the wake-up call early. I think most of us are blessed to have found FDS.
[–]littlelostyellowbirdFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree 100%. Single mum here and it’s so much easier to march to my own beat than deal with ZVM. My home is tidy, peaceful and most importantly my kids are completely safe.
[–]dreaminabottleFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Either divorced, or together but absolutely miserable. Unfortunately, people think together but miserable is better than alone and happy 🤷🏻♀️
[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve got the divorce from the ZVM already. I’d rate be be single. I learned from my mistakes lol.
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh hell to the yeah! You're going to end up spending a couple of years unable to admit to yourself that you made a mistake, followed by a few years of slowly accepting the fact that you married into a shitty marriage and you're ashamed to admit it to your family and friends. After a suitable length of time has gone by where you think it's socially acceptable to get a divorce, you'll get a divorce. It will take a few years and age you as he drags you through the court system. Finally you'll be divorced and onky need a few years of therapy to get normal after all the damage he did to you.
Source: Had so many friends and family do exactly that. It's practically the norm.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow when you put it like that... it goes to show how many years of your life you really are losing, even in a short marriage.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well-pointed out!
"you'll end up alone if you're too picky" is first and foremost a false dichotomy, a fallacy, not an argument.
societal pressure only achieves 2 things:
for example, this is why you always take your time to read and understand the fine print before signing a contract (marriage is a contract, even a friendship, or any relationship is a form of social contract!). whoever pressures you to sign without respecting this need, does not have your best interest at heart.
[–]LegallyParisFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that's the tea. ☕
[–]Not-A-SoggyBagelFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. This to infinity. Keep to your standards and don't settle for anything less than your standards. Its better to live a good life on your own than stuck to an uncaring partner who drags you down. I used to lower my standards to one desired trait, "understanding". I went on roughly 5 dates a week for years trying to find one man that fit that one standard. Could not find one truly empathetic man at all. Found a lot of fake feminists.
When I expanded my standards to someone my equal, I found my lovely partner. She's my bestfriend and she's as generous, kind, empathetic as I am.
We are queens, and have both left men behind. All the men we had dated never met our standards. In either of our dating pools they weren't as gentle, fit, emotionally intelligent, equal in appearances or behaved inappropriately, weren't as cleanly, or financially secure as either of us yet asked for so much more of us.
If I was straight, I'd probably be alone. I don't know how you all wade through this swamp of an endless ocean searching for a bluefin tuna amongst all the plastic floating garbage.
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or stay together but miserable
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Having found my man, I can't believe I once settled for less than what I want and need in a relationship. I have let go of who I used to be when I would do that. I haven't suffered through a divorce, though. Thankfully.
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A yes alone, in a moderately spacious house with big windows overlooking the lake. And when the night's thunderstorm came for a visit, I will be in my couch, wrapped in darkness with a cup of coffee and watching the rain hits the glass in the rush of tap-tap-tap. How horrible.
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or both. 😫😂
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
IDK why people think of divorce as something bad. When most things fail, divorce is a good thing. People should go into marriage with full knowledge that it is a contract and that most contracts can go through dissolution. Most of the women I went to college with are divorced. I am happy for them that at least they did not continue in a situation that was clearly detrimental to them. Marriage is a civil right and is regulated by the state, thus it is a type of contract. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst - meaning that a prenup should be there for a reason. Therefore, if you had a prenup with an adultery clause, if the court enforces the agreement, you could be sure that you would get a greater payout upon the dissolution of the marriage.
[–]pikkpieFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Got'em.
[–]pinkliquorFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My friend always says this to me but yet her husband has cheated multiple times and doesn’t help her around the house or with anything. My mom always says this to me too but she is her husbands slave, all he has to do is come home from work and he gets dinner, lunches packed, a clean house, she makes all his phone calls and appts, grocery shops etc. And I’m just like, I never want to be married to someone if that’s what it would be. No thank you, I’ll enjoy my singleness instead.
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep and yep - married labmates said this to me alllllll the time while I see them being stressed out with the bullshit their partner caused that day. While I went home to a peaceful room and a sound sleep. Yeah, being alone is soooooo horrible amirite?
[–]StellarSunDanceFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being single =/= Alone.
Also, I'd rather be single forever than with a LVM/NVM.
[–]butterflyfrenchfryFDS Newbie[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
PREACH 🙌🏼
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm always surprised that people look at being "single" and "alone" as some sort of awful, permanent, irredeemable character flaw.
I implore you all to go check out the divorce subs. Married people who settled down with the wrong person are out there paying $300k, $600k, $120k + to be single again. That's like the price of a nice house.... A grad degree?? Really expensive plastic surgery?? Idk?
Being single isn't the boogeyman they think it is. The REAL boogeyman is an expensive, nasty, messy divorce that takes years to get through and leaves you permanently scarred.
Have ya'll read half of the shituationships that are happening on the dating/relationship subs? Some people are so miserable in their "relationship", I'm left wondering how any of that is in any way, shape, or form, an upgrade over being single? Like How? Explain it to me.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie-4 points-3 points-2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Didn't she end up divorced because Brad got too much into alcohol after getting too much into weed while with Jennifer Aniston?
[–]hahsatan72FDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She left him . She knows her worth
[–]YourMzFortuneFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
why is Jennifer Aniston being blamed or implicated in his bad behavior? don't support that narrative specifically or in general. Women are not responsible for the behavior of men.
They had been divorced for 10 years.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Blamed?
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[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kimmysradscreenameFDS Newbie112 points113 points114 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SavingsStrength0FDS Newbie217 points218 points219 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]honcho713FDS Newbie52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SavingsStrength0FDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GourmayFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ydoiexistlolidkFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Disciple65 points66 points67 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]littlelostyellowbirdFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dreaminabottleFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danigirl_03FDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LegallyParisFDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not-A-SoggyBagelFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]libraliaFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pikkpieFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkliquorFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StellarSunDanceFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]butterflyfrenchfryFDS Newbie[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie-4 points-3 points-2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]hahsatan72FDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YourMzFortuneFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link