I don't know what else to call this. Pick-me-men. Even worse than the softboi is the pickmeman.

Those men say they will do/say/eat/wear whatever because their wives/partners want it. They will say things like, "I'm not worried about my offspring because my partner earns more than I do even though she's on maternity leave and I am working full time - her maternity leave payments are more than my salary."

For context, I have actually dated/divorced men (well, just one divorce) like this and I have always found that there were incongruities between their actions and their thoughts - these were the type of men who also thought, "I don't have to tell the wife about this... or that..." and they felt totally okay about omitting truths. They are very good at entrapping women in long term relationships, only for her to wake up ten, twenty years later, to discover that she is exhausted by earning all the money, making all the executive decisions, and that she is not remotely sexually attracted to Pickmeman anymore... if she ever was.

I am extremely... put off by it.

It seems so... wimpy...?"

Or LAZY?

I've known a few men who are like this. If you get them 2 glasses "drunk" at parties, they make sexist jokes. Yet the women around them, even so-called radical feminist women, will say that these guys are allies because they treat their wives right by always "obeying" them. From time to time, they say really offensive things. When they are called out, they apologize profusely via text to save the friendship (but who knows what they are *really* thinking). I mean... if you said it, you mean it.

I just feel... their actions are performative, and I think a lot of men can live their whole lives like this: "I'm doing it cause my old lady said so." I would rather be with a man who REALLY shares my values and thinks that what I am saying is intelligent... rather than them just "doing it cause she said so." I'm not their mother. I'm not the "old ball and chain."

I would rather a man I can have an argument with.

Thoughts?