~ archived since 2018 ~

Preach, babygirl!

wegonfuckornah

April 9, 2020

2065 upvotes

Archived from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	Preach, babygirl!
Author	wegonfuckornah
Upvotes	2065
Comments	92
Date	April 9, 2020 5:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fxx6ku/preach_babygirl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/preach-babygirl.692775 https://theredarchive.com/post/692775

Comments

[–]illusion_believeFDS Apprentice142 points143 points144 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–]CaramelxMarshmallowsFDS Apprentice18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwaway843776448 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

God forbid a woman reach 30 and still be single. But if a man does it, he’s just an “independent bachelor, “living his best life,” etc.

Society has made it so that so much of women’s worth is tied to whether or not they have a significant other. That would be why so many women are concerned with “whether or not they can keep a man”.

It really shouldn’t be this way, but that’s just the way it is.

A woman I used to work with made the announcement that she was finally engaged during one of our meetings (it was a very chill work environment so it was normal for people to talk casually about life outside of work and make playful jokes) and she joked about how she was glad she didn’t have to worry about “being an old hag” anymore. She had just turned 27. 27 and not engaged is an “old hag???”

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[–]throwaway93731FDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If I’m going to answer that honestly... the reasons I’ve stayed in the past... companionship and comfort, I suppose? Human beings like what feels familiar. Pickmeisha me would much rather continue to hang out and have sex with someone I’ve known (and generally get along) with for 3 months vs. start from scratch and go on dates with brand new people, many of which will probably turn out to be LVM as well. We don’t like the fear of the unknown.

The issue I’ve got to overcome is getting over the discomfort I feel towards being alone and having to “start over”. I like the familiarity of the person I already have, and knowing that there are parts of them I already like. It’s easy to say you want to just cut this person off and find someone who treats you better, but actually being willing to do it is a whole ‘nother battle. That’s where FDS comes in and reminds us that it’s worth it—that it’s okay to be alone, it’s okay to start over.

It’s so much easier said than done, I won’t lie. Especially when there are parts of this person you really do like, and you’ve already made memories with them. Especially when you’ve already had to “start over” so many times and it feels like you’ll never find your HVM.

[–]alli4202FDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Appreciate your honesty...that takes guts to say. In the past I have had the same feeling..."we've already broke the ice", "it's comfortable"..... The truth is..it might be those things..but we don't grow if we don't exit our comfort zone. When someone treats you poorly, you fuckin leave their sorry ass. Since I've been on here...I think like this now...and I love it.... When you stay in a toxic environment you are choosing to be treated poorly.. it might be false hope, it might be how comfortable you are with that person, for some people it's even finances...but when you aren't willing to break the mold and do what's best for your mental and emotional health..you're choosing poor self care. You wouldn't be friends with someone that treated you badly or talked down to you... Why tf are we opting in to poor self care? Why are we willing to do that to ourselves when we wouldn't be friends with someone that treated us like that. No...I'd rather be single and be nice to myself than be with someone that bring me down. It's never worth it.

[–]throwaway93731FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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But my problem is that it’s super rare to even meet someone that I could like or put any effort into. So when I do, it might be pickme mentality, but I don’t want to lose them. And that makes me act more pathetic than I would otherwise.

Where are these women meeting a bunch of high quality men? Maybe it’s my age range but most are not available- they are married or taken already. The rest are 35-45 and still players, serial tinders, etc

Plus, I guess I just have trust issues but I don’t believe there is a surplus of good men.

Men have better choices and more choices.

Women overall take better care of themselves, are more well rounded, are kinder, more understanding and compassionate, more badass, and average women are loooadddsss hotter than the average male.

So I feel like while men get to choose out a large amount of options, women get to choose out of a few good men.

At this point, I’ve accepted I’ll prob be alone forever. Lol

[–]throwaway93731FDS Apprentice20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You have a point, but you’ve got to remember that it’s much better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t fully appreciate you or see your value.

I also think that with the right man, you won’t have any reason to act pathetic, and you probably won’t be so concerned with losing him because it’s very obvious he wants to be kept—you feel safe with him.

With the wrong man, you worry about losing him, because it seems he’s already got one foot out the door. He obviously doesn’t see your value, so that’s when you start worrying and doing pathetic things. This is when the Pickmeisha behaviors start to come out (and girl I know, I’ve been there a million times!)

I’d say it’s much better to be alone than to be with the wrong man, who doesn’t know my worth, who doesn’t know how much of a goddess I am. I’d much rather choose myself.

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