Pushing buttons on purpose

EarthKveik · 2021-02-07T18:51:13+00:00

If they're amused by hurting people then they're automatically LV. Cut them off.

Eluniae · 2021-02-07T19:33:31+00:00

My LV ex was exactly like this. He loved to joke about things that he knew would trigger me (sexist or racist “jokes”), shit-talk people I like, make fun of my insecurities, or just insist on discussing inappropriate topics he was fully aware I do not enjoy talking about, all just to get a negative reaction out of me. Asking him to stop always made it worse because he would then start doing it on purpose. When I would eventually snap, he would grin and say “You look so cute when you’re mad.” or “it’s so fun to see you like this.” Yeah, it’s fun to get on my nerves, ruin my mood and potentially my day, best fun ever.

I’m usually quite calm but around him I feel like I was a different person, because of how constantly irritated I was. Of course, he took this as an opportunity to gaslight me, and whenever we had a fight he would draw me as this easily-annoyed, hot-tempered mad bitch with no sense of humor. I was young and had very low self-worth, so I believed everything he said, and thought the only way to save the relationship was to work on myself and my “anger issues” as he liked to call it.

Needless to say, he cried a river when I dumped him and begged me to stay. Serves him right.

helppleasekk · 2021-02-07T19:18:36+00:00

They are so pathetic and needy, I believe one of the reasons they do this is because they just need constant attention 100% of the time, good or bad doesn't matter.

2021-02-07T20:38:46+00:00

Pushing any button repeatedly is blatantly stomping on your boundaries in front of you to see how you’d react and if you’ll put up with it. Narcs do this a lot, it slowly erodes your boundaries so they can more easily get you to do whatever they want. I’ve had nvm do this dumb shit and claim that it’s “jokes”. It’s not and they know what they’re doing. Drop anyone that pushes any of your boundaries, they have no respect for you.

-LitmusTestX- · 2021-02-07T21:18:47+00:00

I remember a guy explaining to me he was just being the devil's advocate, as if it made him an intellectual or something. No, it just makes you insincere and annoying.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-02-07T19:04:23+00:00

Dump them. This is an act of aggression and distain.

loftycries · 2021-02-07T23:51:31+00:00

My ex used to “patty flip” (yes, flip up my breasts) all. the. time. I hated it with a passion. At first, I asked him to please not. Then, I got a bit more frustrated. Finally, I flipped the fuck out. “STOP FUCKING DOING THIS” and somehow I was the asshole, even though he was the one continually pushing that boundary after I told him I didn’t like it. Fuck him.

LockLimePie · 2021-02-07T20:50:08+00:00

This is absolutely an immature male thing. Ex LVM did this. Would purposefully take absolutely insane points of view to play "the devil's advocate" or do things to purposefully get on my nerves, knowing I had no confidence and wouldn't tell him to knock it the fuck off. They're like untrained dogs. Don't give them the attention they want.

suckmypussy143 · 2021-02-08T00:23:14+00:00

Yes they also are trying to test your boundaries. All men do is take, they want to know just how far they can go and just how much they can take from you mentally and emotionally. That’s why they hate women with firm boundaries and standards.

ciciplum · 2021-02-07T21:40:47+00:00

This reminded me of the fact that i used to explain carefully and extensively to men who liked doing this why i did not appreciate their behavior. I would also always include several apologies for being sensitive. 🤡

dingledangleboys · 2021-02-08T06:24:07+00:00

My daily work environment: “it’s a joke!! I was just waiting to see you explode! LoLOL! It’s funny!!!!!” In reference to over sexualizing young girls, women’s dress, calling women “crazy”, gay implication jokes etc. I’m all in for some work place comedy, but that’s not fucking funny.

anotherdamnloser · 2021-02-07T23:38:32+00:00

My dad 100% to my mom

Mind-Objective · 2021-02-08T03:35:52+00:00

Ah the real life Internet troll. Don’t feed it.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-08T05:31:01+00:00

They feed off the energy, even if it’s annoyed energy

boredbitch2020 · 2021-02-08T17:46:08+00:00

My ex did this constaaantly and called it humor. He was just mimicking his dad, who did it to his mother for 20 Years until she dumped him. They irritate you and irritate you for a reaction, and act like they're the victim when they get the reaction. It finally stopped when I snapped monumentally, told him hes the crazy one for doing this constantly for a reaction, and then being ssurprised he gets a reaction. Literally the definition of crazy, doing the same shit expecting different results.

Unfortunately for him that behavior was his entire personality. He had nothing in his mind but irritating soundbits

2021-02-08T02:13:36+00:00

Okay this is what I learned:

Assertiveness takes time and the reason why lvm and nvm do that is that they do not know if you mean what you say and say what you mean. Most of the time, they hammer it out of you because of their low iq/ low eq just think "low".

But the difference is that HVM takes time to understand you and even guide you. Although it is not his job to think for you, he make sure both of you gets the message clear. The key here is him "empathizing" with you that will make you feel heard, valued and overall respected.

Dearlyalexx · 2021-02-08T17:36:27+00:00

The guy I just broke up with would do this all the time. He knew I didn’t like it when he would drive fast/recklessly and would do it just to annoy me. Even after we had gotten in a car accident because he was speeding. He would also make comments about my driving after I told him it was annoying. He got a kick out of making me angry. LV for sure.

frito2103 · 2021-02-08T12:57:00+00:00

My ex would get in an entire debate with me, just to say at the end "You know, I actually agree with you, but let someone else be the one to say that, not you". That's why I no longer argue with men because they just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing

unbelyevable · 2021-02-08T22:00:45+00:00

The last guy I dated "tested" me by doing this. He was poking me or something dumb like that. After a little bit I asked him to stop, and he just got this dumb smile on his face and continued to do it. I had to ask/tell him FOUR times to knock it off and when he finally listened he asked me why!!!! (BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT.) I gave another reason and he had the AUDACITY to look hurt. Like what.

Then I went back and asked him, "You've bragged about 'always listening to me' but you didn't then. Why?"

He said, "I wanted to see your limit. How far I could go until you got irritated. You got irritated fast. I have to think you're going to get irritated that quickly at a 6-year-old."

Some other level scrote-dacity to blame your lack of self-control, immaturity, and poor decisions on your 6 yo daughter. I feel so bad for her.

basicbagels · 2021-02-09T00:03:55+00:00

Among many other things, one guy told me after I made a comment he didn’t like while we were grocery shopping (and he was on the phone the whole time) he yelled and screamed at me the entire car ride home... telling me what a dumbass idiot I am for calling him out for that. Then to make it worse, when we got back to my place he told me I “got what I deserved” - big big LVM red flag

squaremarshmallow · 2021-02-10T13:47:00+00:00

Many lvm are like this. Lack of empathy and needing to feel important/get attention will lead to doing things to get a rise out of women. My ex actually said he does things just to mess with me and somehow expected me to find it funny.

uselesssdata · 2021-02-16T15:35:04+00:00

It's sadism, full stop.

Title	Pushing buttons on purpose
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	316
Comments	34
Date	February 7, 2021 6:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lesiv4/pushing_buttons_on_purpose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pushing-buttons-on-purpose.1192621 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192621

Comments