I’m sitting here thinking about how different my life is since I’ve learned to love myself enough to have standards and wanted to share my joy with women who would understand.

In my last long term relationship I was the definition of a PickMe and had the lowest standards ever. This was always evident around holidays because despite how much I love holidays and gift giving and celebrating someone I never felt I deserved much of that for myself. I never wanted to be a bother. And so, I never got much.

I remember waking up on my birthday in my last relationship and he smiled and said “Happy Birthday! What do you want to do today?” He hadn’t planned a damn thing. Didn’t even buy a card. Over the years that followed I can barely even remember anything he did for me on important days. We spent the better part of a decade together and I can count on one hand his efforts to make me happy. It was always just enough effort to keep me hoping for better. It never improved though. I was living off crumbs for years.

Now that I’ve healed from that relationship and leveled up in my own life I feel strong in expressing my needs and wants in a relationship. My partner knows how much I love birthdays and all celebrations. He has taken me to a gorgeous spa, broadway shows, Michelin star restaurants. He’s planned multi course meals that fit into my dietary preferences. He knows all my favorite shops and the sizes I wear so his clothing gifts are almost always something I love. My favorite flowers and sweets are always involved. And aside from holidays I almost have to be careful what I mention because he is so persistent in trying to meet my every whim. Apparently having confidence in your desires gives HVM endless opportunities to feel successful.

Just a side note this isn’t a monetary issue either as they made similar salaries. It’s 100% a priority issue.

The difference is so jarring. I was so scared of being too much. Needing too much. Not being worthy of my desires. It’s so freeing to have this confidence now. I’m not asking for too much at all!