This post was prompted by a viral video of an influencer paying off her husband’s loans as a Christmas gift 🤢

Link to the post. TW// extreme pickme behavior on full display, watch at your own risk

I am seeing a lot of posts lately on social media from women bragging about how much they spoil their man (if he spoils me, I spoil him right back! 🤡), going on and on about spending significant amounts of money on their man. Women buying lavish gifts for their bfs/husbands, then filming & posting their reaction on the internet. Women in the replies fawning over it and fantasizing about how they just cannot wait to do it for a man someday Just look at the quotes to this tweet 🤡

Perhaps the most dangerous and insidious aspect of patriarchy (or any system of oppression) lies in its ability to co-opt the language of the oppressed in order to brainwash the marginalized group (in this instance women) into doing the oppressor’s bidding for them. Men saw (some) women use eQuALiTy as the basis for feminism and thought to themselves: “how do use eQuAliTy in order to make it work for us? Rather than opppose feminist rherotic head on, how do we co-opt the movement for our benefit, while giving women the impression that they are progressing in the right direction?” Their solution: selectively apply eQuAliTy politics to roles that have been traditionally fulfilled by men (ie rent, bills etc.), thus reducing the scope of men’s responsibility, while leaving untouched the roles that have been tradionally fulfilled by women (or rather, roles that women were coerced into fulfilling for centuries because they had no other choice). These roles include domestic labor, reproductive labor, caregiving labor and emotional labor among others.

Men have spent millenia holding women back, denying us the right to an education, the right to compensated work, and everything else that enables financial freedom. They arbitrarily decided that the work women perform in the home is not worthy of compensation (how convenient for them). The result of this centuries-long discrimination? Men now hold 98% of the wealth and resources of the world in their hands. Men now dominate our entire society in every aspect: politically, religiously, and most importantly, economically

Now that women have just barely fought and won the rights to not just work but to be compensated for our work, men have the audacity to tell us that we should be sharing our meager resources with them in the name of eQuALiTy. Now that women are just barely beginning to crawl out of the hole men have dug and thrown us into by force, thus giving themselves a 200+ years headstart on the road to financial prosperity, they are now telling us we should split 50/50. And women are sadly falling for it at an alarming rate. They’ve been tricked into thinking that spoiling a man financially is a demonstration of lOvE and LoYaLtY, and that 50/50 is eMpOwErMeNt 🤡

What sense does it make for a woman to split a date 50/50 with a man who could work the same job as her with identical qualifications, yet still be paid more money for no reason other than the fact that he is a man and she is a woman? What sense does it make that women should split rent 50/50 when men are not fighting this hard for eQuAliTy when it comes to cleaning, cooking and raising children? As women navigating a capitalist and patriarchal world designed to keep us in a position of inferiority relative to men, the very least we can do is to be intentionally selfish with our resources and preserve them for ourselves and for children.

The money a woman spends clearing a man’s student loans could be spent boosting her 401K, her savings account, creating a travel fund etc. It could be spent on baby supplies for her woman friend who just had a baby, donated to the local women’s shelter, or a christmas wishlist for children in foster care. Regardless of how much money a woman makes, even long after all her needs are met, there are so many ways to spend the extra money in a meaningful way rather than just… wasting it on a man. Disclaimer: I am not against giving gifts to men. This post is specifically regarding lavish, expensive gifts, spoiling men with money, for example by paying off loans, buying an expensive car, flying them out on a vacation all exepenses paid etc.

In conclusion - a man’s money should be spent on women, children and family. A woman’s money is for HERSELF, as well as other women and children

  • Blindly applying eQuAliTy rhetoric in a male-dominated world is nonsensical and only hurts women.

  • When patriarchy has been fully dismantled, when women hold 50% of political, economic and religous power, when 50% of the world’s resources is in the hands of women, I will be the first woman to go 50/50 on a date.

(I probably won’t, but it’s the thought that counts 😂)