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LezzBeez
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
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[β]TheboredshrimpFDS Apprentice207 points208 points209 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Too manipulative and too desperate
[β]ijustwannabefree-FDS Newbie148 points149 points150 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah, heβd gaslight the hell outta her
[β]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie295 points296 points297 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nooooooooo! I'm AlpHa! *cries* You make the money and feed me like an infant but then let me strangle you during sex so I can feel superior to you! MOMMMY! She won't let me fuck her butt! *cries*
[β][deleted] 82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus!! π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
[β]oh_shit_oh_fuckFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ππΌ mantrum ππΌ
[β]poison_snaccFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ππ€£
[β]dembar126FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my God you literally summed up their entire personalities in like 3 sentences lmaoo.
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie296 points297 points298 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
These males hyping "traditional roles" always have no clue.
I just keep thinking of the story my maternal Grandpa told me about how after he got married every week he'd take a $5 bill out of his pay envelope for himself and then give ALL the rest of his earnings to my Nana because running the house was her job and paying for her to run the house was his job.
He was trying to explain inflation to me.... in 1986 he said he was NOW keeping a whole $20.
πΉπΉπΉ
[β]CaptainHope93FDS Newbie130 points131 points132 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
My grandparents did this - they both told me about it seperately too, and it was clearly a point of pride with both. Over 60 years of happy marriage. They truly were partners.
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie136 points137 points138 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Of all the people who were my grandparents friends this really was the norm. All the husbands took a tiny fraction of "spending cash" and the rest was for the wife to run the house with.
You were actually looked down on if your wife didn't have access to your pay envelope or your checkbook.
Yes, adhering to both gender roles so strongly often left the people out who weren't geared for them, and it put heavy burdens on BOTH sexes.
....and this fictional narrative modern dudes cling to of the submissive wife who you control like a slave and never give any money to is pure bullshit... straight from the mouth of the people who were living it through the 40s & 50s.
[β]CaptainHope93FDS Newbie64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah absolutely. They idiolise the worst stereotypes of the past, and ignore the real people that actively worked together to make a harmonious relationship within those strict societal bounds.
I would never want that arrangement for myself personally, but it shows that partnerships where both parties are trusted and heard are not a modern invention. She trusted him to provide, and he trusted her to manage the finances. If they were making it work in todays world, it might look different, but they did well with how things were at the time.
He was an excellent example of a HVM too, and he made a wonderful carer when she was unwell β€
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh that last part had me tearing up, you just don't see that in younger men, the man taking care of a sick wife in her old age thing.
It melts my heart and makes me weepy every time I read another story like yours where the man took good care at the end because that was my family story too.
[β]PahapanFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My dad's mom was the youngest child of a TON of older siblings, including a bunch of older sisters, so she was infamously babied and never really learned how to cook, clean, or run a household. She had free access to her husband's checkbook which led to a bunch of (humorous, in hindsight) shenanigans because she didn't really know what she was doing and had no idea how to budget. Still had free access though, because that's just what was done back then.
[β]ivy176FDS Disciple12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A woman in my family had this POS ex. They had 3 kids together and 2 weren't school age yet so she was a stay at home parent. The house was hers, she bought it before they got together when she was working, before kids. He got a good job paying 90k a year. He'd give her $400 per week to pay bills, groceries, everything. He kept the rest. He ended up getting a serious blood borne disease which put her at risk but luckily she did not get it, then she found out he was sending money to some woman who lived interstate who he was in a long distance affair with, then she dumped him and he tried to take the maximum he could of her house, and refused to give child support and claimed she wouldn't spend it on the kids ugh
[β]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what all the (LV) men in my family do. They want a submissive and traditional wife, but it means that theyβre holding down either a very good paying job or two jobs.
Still not something I would want for myself, but at least they hold up their end of the bargain.
Men donβt even have to be HV to do this. Even LVM want to have a purpose in life and contribute to their families.
Men who donβt want to do this are bottom of the barrel NVM.
[β]WitchyAylaFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How precious is it that this system was so natural, so DEFAULT for him, that he instinctively uses it to explain something as complex as inflation? Love to your gramps (& your gram, who sounds like she was quite a catch too!) π
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aw! Thank you.
[β]Splatzy19FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Grandma was a teacher, Grandad was a farmer. Don't know the specifics of the household finances but Grandma always had the cash on hand (or in fabulous purse) and I never actually remember seeing my Grandfather physically handle cash or card. I don't think my Grandfather even owned a wallet.
[β]ivy176FDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea they just like the idea of tradwife without the responsibilities. They just want tradwife in the bedroom but her to be breadwinner the rest of the time
[β]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
correct! my grand-grandma and my grandmas were the accountants of the household. grandpa made the money but grandma held the purse. I tended to think it's because he wasn't very good at math but now I know he gave her the money so he wouldn't go drinking or spend it on other things. plus, no major purchases(house, car, land) were made without consulting the whole family.
[β]gingerwabisabiFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aww, your grandpa sounds sweet! And yes that was ABSOLUTELY the standard.
[β][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
When will we ever find men like our grandfathers ever again?
[β]Splatzy19FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have two biological grandfather's and the adoptive father of my father and he was the HVM grandfather my biological ones... Not so much ππ So the grandfather I grew up on the farm who was not my biological relative was the true patriarch and prime example of a true country gentleman. In saying that, my grandmother was a newly arrived to the country, Glaswegian special education teacher who did her prac placement at all boys schools in the low socioeconomic parts of Glasgow post second world war so she was not in the habit of suffering fools. We will find these men because we will be leveled up enough to be able to look above the trash heap. If a 5 foot tall Scottish woman on her own can do it in 1950's rural Queensland Australia then there's hope for all of us.
[β]Summoning-FreaksFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My exs parents were like this too. His mom was a SAHM and she managed the money his dad brought it. It seemed completely logical to them that the wife and mother would handle the finances as itβs part of running the household.
[β]Karolin99_GerAt-Risk Pick Me Youth110 points111 points112 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He would probably get angry and call her a Gold digger
[β]Yeah_hey_kittycatFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! He totally would!!!
[β]BreesashaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts! These men wanna be alpha and head of household while their wife does all the emotional and financial labor in the relationship.
[β][deleted] 61 points62 points63 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Selective masculinity. Want all the benefits of being a masculine man but none of the burden.
[β]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent post.
[β]souredskittlesFDS Disciple106 points107 points108 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao this is my life. They want to be the man but act girly when the check comes π
Iβve let them take the reigns of the relationship and they run it into the ground. Sorry sir, you are looking for a boyfriend.
I never realized what toxic masculinity was until this. They just want to show masculinity in abusive ways π like beating you up in bed
[β]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
π€£
[β]BiscuitWoofFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol! My ex claimed he wanted to be the breadwinner. The second I said yes to dating him, he argued with me about going 50/50 and how I was a spoilt brat.
[β]mojocanxFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Theyβre so hypocritical. Atleast men in the 50s had something to offer. Men now just want us to take care of everything while they have 0 to offer except drain us of our energy and labour.
This really hits close to home. A really good example (IMO) of how a hvm would handle it is My best friend and her bf. Theyβve been together for 3 years and growing up she was better off financially and used to a certain lifestyle yet her bf came from a poorer background. He wanted to get married but she made it clear the lifestyle she wanted so they discussed it and even though he couldnβt provide it to her at that exact moment he got a job in engineering (what he studied) worked his way up and now holds a position where he is currently able to give her what she wanted and now theyβre engaged. I should mention they split chores and cooking 50/50 and he pays the bills. I went to uni with him and final year of uni (he was a couple years ahead of me) I remember him working two jobs plus studying, saving up every cent just to able to buy my friend the ring he thought she deserved regardless of cost. Idk just thought Iβd share that since we always hearing how shit LVMs are.
Someone who truly cares for you will take into consideration what you need and make the effort to provide you with that especially if they donβt want to risk losing you. They donβt see you asking for what you want as being βtoo muchβ or try to negotiate you out of it. They work hard to give you what you want.
[β]cherieblosumFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These types of guys use "Alpha" as an excuse to cheat or sleep around.
[β]will_dog2019FDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have yet to meet a man screaming about traditional values who knows how to change the oil in his own car.
[β]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Heβs an Alpha Scrote.
[β]Lady__stoneheartFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'm an Alpha male who likes women who are submissive, while I do nothing and mooch off of them emotionally, sexually and financially. I just want to feel like an alpha male because I'm not actually one, but I want to feel like one. I can't actually be one because I can't be bothered to, but I can definitely try to manipulate women into making me feel like one and coddle my ego, because that's easier than actually stepping up."
[β]AshaStarsThrowaway Account15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
The issue I have with this is that, if you have a fair traditional relationship (husband works and wife is a SAHM), this shouldn't equate to the woman being submissive or the man having more authority. Both partners should have equal authority in their sphere of work. SAHM's work LONGER shifts than men do in most cases--it's a 24/7 job to look after a baby or a toddler, and men should be working to support them and then working additional hours alongside them to take some childcare pressure off their shoulders. Considering that the woman works equivalent or greater hours domestically, she should have equivalent or greater authority.
*Fair* traditional relationships shouldn't rest on the assumption that a man gets a sUbmiSsiVe wife because he earns money. Like bitch, she birthed your child(ren). She is entitled to equal or greater authority in the family. The notion that breadwinner=authority is based on the falsehood that women who are SAHM's don't contribute as much, when the exact opposite is true. If there's a parent and child, the parent holds authority because the child isn't contributing the way an adult would--but a husband and wife who work equal hours in different spheres should have equal authority in proportion to their contribution. Breadwinner=authority is based on devaluing women's work and acting like men deserve aUthoRity for doing the absolute bare minimum of providing for the woman who birthed their child(ren).
There's nothing wrong w men being primary providers--they should be--but they shouldn't be given greater aUthoRitY for it unless the woman truly contributes very little or nothing. Which basically never happens. SAHM's typically work long ass hours. In my extended family there are men who work 6 hours a day and then laze around at home while their wives cook and clean 6am-8pm and the men think they have aUthoRity over their wives it's literal clown shit
[β]anxious-americanFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao yeah, honestly I'm into guys who lead; but if I'm cooking and cleaning, he's paying my rent
[β]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
B-but what did he expect? He said "head of the household"!
I mean, come on, you alpha male, you! Do you work? Make enough figures to support a household and kids? And your wifey? You plan to wife her... right? Right?
Righ'....
*Stores another jar full of male tears... this is going to be a looong winter.*
[β]Yeah_hey_kittycatFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
πππππππ»ππ»ππ»ππ»ππ»ππ»ππ»β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ SERIOUSLY THIS!
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[β]TheboredshrimpFDS Apprentice207 points208 points209 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]ijustwannabefree-FDS Newbie148 points149 points150 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie295 points296 points297 points
(4 children) | Copy Link
[β][deleted] 82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie296 points297 points298 points
(19 children) | Copy Link
[β]CaptainHope93FDS Newbie130 points131 points132 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie136 points137 points138 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[β]CaptainHope93FDS Newbie64 points65 points66 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]PahapanFDS Disciple22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]ivy176FDS Disciple12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple49 points50 points51 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]WitchyAylaFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[β]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[β]Splatzy19FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[β]mojocanxFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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