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[–]ZurfluFDS Newbie 253 points254 points255 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The paradox of men claiming to be the superior sex but also unable to do any basic adult tasks or functions without the help of a woman 🤔
[–]Unholyalliance23FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then if they do it they have the audacity of expecting a parade to celebrate 🙃
[–]Candle_JacquelineFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men spent all of history making art, writing poetry, and devoting themselves to creation and enlightenment and philosophy and complex theological thought and math and science and engineering and medicine and agriculture and navigation and psychology and anthropology and music and linguistics and history and suddenly, SUDDENLY, your average man is a braindead caveman who can't communicate basic concepts, figure out common sense problems, or execute simple tasks like laundry, cooking, or basic human decency. And any time I've explained this to them, its "well not EVERY man was doing that, just a privileged few!"
No. That's simply not true. Even accepting the false premise that only wealthy people could be inquisitive, intelligent, creative, and expressive, at the very least, your average peasant man had to be able to grow crops, keep a roof over his head, drink water that didn't have him cholera, and keep his body from rotting away due to poor hygenie. Now? I've seen grown ass men struggle to make Cup Noodles.
[–]elementalviragoFDS Apprentice 196 points197 points198 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A man who can't understand his own feelings, much less express them, can't possibly be expected to understand yours. Walk away.
[–]Lazy-Tax3986FDS Newbie 123 points124 points125 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Omg this is so true. The amount of times I have lied to myself with the whole "oh he's just shy" "oh he's just stoic" "oh he's just nerdy" HE. WASN'T. INTO. ME.
[–]fresiparFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
so true. sad for all the girls who think shy is somehow cute.
[–]Amphy64FDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Ach, calling me out like that... But shy /= permanently emotionally unavailable. I used to be very shy, which is my lame excuse for finding it cute I guess, but as well as what it hints about personality (I tend to appreciate a kinda 'quieter' vibe), it means I know people like that can be just fine one on one, and open up when they get to know someone. If they're still acting the exact same in a relationship, may not be shyness the issue.
[–]fresiparFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hey, it's fine, i also like quiet/introverted types. and it's completely fine to be shy when you are 17. but 30+ year old men are definitely expected to speak up and be proactive toward their romantic interest.
[–]jessicaslovelyFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
right?! these are grown ass men we are talking about
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Shy man = a complete turn off and possible covert narcissist
[–]MissGalaxy1986FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
“Oh he’s just nerdy” or “oh he’s just got mild aspergers”.... classic me. I always wondered why in the end the restaurants he took me to weren’t all that “impressive” for his apparent budget.... cause he was taking many other women out simultaneously... gotta save up! I thought “bless his nerdy heart doesn’t understand physical boundaries and that’s why he hugs me/kisses me/makes attempts at sex that are essentially a way to sexually assault me”
Ugh 🤦♀️ just no. I still struggle with the fact that I let him use me in the name of “female benévolance” 😬🤮🤮🤮
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yessss same here !!!
[–]THCAlienFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of these types of men end up being abusive af. They dont know how to communicate so instead they punch the wall break things or punch you.
[–]jugularlemonadeFDS Newbie 79 points80 points81 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It seems like they do well at first and once you’ve been in a relationship for months they get worse. At Everything.
[–]asupernova91FDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Months? How about weeks? Literally been there.
[–]peanut-butter-vibesFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too. I get the 3 week free trial and then after that I’m paying for it big time.
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup . This happened with my son's father. It all started changing within like 6 months. I kept making excuses for him until I finally woke up and had to accept the fact that it was all a facade in the beginning. He still says that he isn't good with feelings and we're not even together anymore lol like randomly he brought that up .. I said well , maybe you need to learn before you get into another relationship . 🤣🤣 He got so mad because he just wants me back but the damage is done . 🤷🏻♀️
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did so much damage to myself, because I believed that I could reach the other person if I just figured out the correct combination of words, tools, strategies, etc.
It didn’t matter if it was a work colleague, romantic partner, customer, family member, or friend; I would totally deplete myself in my endeavor to connect.
But those words, tools, strategies, etc. only work if the other side respects me, and they’re exerting just as much effort as I am.
What I couldn’t- or wouldn’t - see is that the harder I paddled on my side of the canoe, the faster the circles became. Witnessing my effort and dedication did not inspire the other person to pick up their oar and paddle with me.
Why? Because they didn’t care if we actually went anywhere or made any progress. And honestly, they didn’t even want to be in the canoe in the first place.
The moment you see a lack of effort and/or disrespect, walk away. Tolerating and “communicating” about it will only cause you trauma and damage.
Also, if you’re paddling in a canoe, wear a life jacket. And sunscreen.
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh he's just shy/awkward/no good at expressing himself/suffering from the hard expectations for men to man up
Next!
[–]asupernova91FDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is honestly one of the best advice out there. Do not make excuses for them. They are grown men and if they struggle with emotional maturity and/or communication it is not your job to meet them halfway, or work on it with them, or push them to get therapy, it is their responsibility.
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice 63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
They don’t communicate their feelings because they don’t have any. Not for you.
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don’t let them manipulate you with sob stories. “I have a hard time communicating my feelings because of: a) my upbringing b) my ex c) vague references to “bad things happening in the past” 🎻🎻🎻 None of these are your problem. If you start thinking “You poor thing,” or “He’s been through so much, I can’t just leave him” you need to stop and move on. In fact, anytime you are gaslighting yourself with “I can’t just leave because of xyz” remember that you absolutely can just leave because of anything.
If you make it your responsibility to help this grown man with his emotions, you will be the person he blames every time he directs his negative unmanaged emotions at you. Don’t walk away, RUN!
[–]Galileo_SparkFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This! Be very wary of anyone using these sorts of excuses to justify their shortcomings or to explain away why they treated you so bad. They want you to feel sorry for them and to give them more chances. You will eventually end up feeling manipulated and taken advantage of. If they are using these sorts of things to manipulate you, there is a very good chance they are also manipulating you in other ways you can’t see or aren’t aware of.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He can, but you won't like the answers.
"I did that because I enjoy seeing you suffer :)" is usually what's on his mind.
[–]arnezuaraFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He can, he just doesn’t want to.
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯💯💯💯💯💯
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[–]ZurfluFDS Newbie 253 points254 points255 points
(2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unholyalliance23FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Candle_JacquelineFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]elementalviragoFDS Apprentice 196 points197 points198 points
(0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lazy-Tax3986FDS Newbie 123 points124 points125 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]fresiparFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amphy64FDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fresiparFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jessicaslovelyFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MissGalaxy1986FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]THCAlienFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jugularlemonadeFDS Newbie 79 points80 points81 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]asupernova91FDS Newbie 35 points36 points37 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peanut-butter-vibesFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]light_workerx3FDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]berryberrykicksFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]asupernova91FDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice 63 points64 points65 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PenneyPenceFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Galileo_SparkFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]arnezuaraFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link