Walk away!

Zurflu · 2021-05-28T13:53:15+00:00

The paradox of men claiming to be the superior sex but also unable to do any basic adult tasks or functions without the help of a woman 🤔

Candle_Jacqueline · 2021-05-28T18:06:09+00:00

Men spent all of history making art, writing poetry, and devoting themselves to creation and enlightenment and philosophy and complex theological thought and math and science and engineering and medicine and agriculture and navigation and psychology and anthropology and music and linguistics and history and suddenly, SUDDENLY, your average man is a braindead caveman who can't communicate basic concepts, figure out common sense problems, or execute simple tasks like laundry, cooking, or basic human decency. And any time I've explained this to them, its "well not EVERY man was doing that, just a privileged few!"

No. That's simply not true. Even accepting the false premise that only wealthy people could be inquisitive, intelligent, creative, and expressive, at the very least, your average peasant man had to be able to grow crops, keep a roof over his head, drink water that didn't have him cholera, and keep his body from rotting away due to poor hygenie. Now? I've seen grown ass men struggle to make Cup Noodles.

elementalvirago · 2021-05-28T13:59:21+00:00

A man who can't understand his own feelings, much less express them, can't possibly be expected to understand yours. Walk away.

Lazy-Tax3986 · 2021-05-28T15:18:24+00:00

Omg this is so true. The amount of times I have lied to myself with the whole "oh he's just shy" "oh he's just stoic" "oh he's just nerdy" HE. WASN'T. INTO. ME.

THCAlien · 2021-05-28T17:46:45+00:00

A lot of these types of men end up being abusive af. They dont know how to communicate so instead they punch the wall break things or punch you.

jugularlemonade · 2021-05-28T15:17:41+00:00

It seems like they do well at first and once you’ve been in a relationship for months they get worse. At Everything.

berryberrykicks · 2021-05-28T17:19:04+00:00

I did so much damage to myself, because I believed that I could reach the other person if I just figured out the correct combination of words, tools, strategies, etc.

It didn’t matter if it was a work colleague, romantic partner, customer, family member, or friend; I would totally deplete myself in my endeavor to connect.

But those words, tools, strategies, etc. only work if the other side respects me, and they’re exerting just as much effort as I am.

What I couldn’t- or wouldn’t - see is that the harder I paddled on my side of the canoe, the faster the circles became. Witnessing my effort and dedication did not inspire the other person to pick up their oar and paddle with me.

Why? Because they didn’t care if we actually went anywhere or made any progress. And honestly, they didn’t even want to be in the canoe in the first place.

The moment you see a lack of effort and/or disrespect, walk away. Tolerating and “communicating” about it will only cause you trauma and damage.

Also, if you’re paddling in a canoe, wear a life jacket. And sunscreen.

Villanelloh · 2021-05-28T17:34:22+00:00

Oh he's just shy/awkward/no good at expressing himself/suffering from the hard expectations for men to man up

Next!

asupernova91 · 2021-05-28T16:53:54+00:00

This is honestly one of the best advice out there. Do not make excuses for them. They are grown men and if they struggle with emotional maturity and/or communication it is not your job to meet them halfway, or work on it with them, or push them to get therapy, it is their responsibility.

riseaboveagain · 2021-05-28T15:12:44+00:00

They don’t communicate their feelings because they don’t have any. Not for you.

PenneyPence · 2021-05-28T17:15:26+00:00

Don’t let them manipulate you with sob stories. “I have a hard time communicating my feelings because of: a) my upbringing b) my ex c) vague references to “bad things happening in the past” 🎻🎻🎻 None of these are your problem. If you start thinking “You poor thing,” or “He’s been through so much, I can’t just leave him” you need to stop and move on. In fact, anytime you are gaslighting yourself with “I can’t just leave because of xyz” remember that you absolutely can just leave because of anything.

If you make it your responsibility to help this grown man with his emotions, you will be the person he blames every time he directs his negative unmanaged emotions at you. Don’t walk away, RUN!

Platipus6 · 2021-05-28T22:09:47+00:00

He can, but you won't like the answers.

"I did that because I enjoy seeing you suffer :)" is usually what's on his mind.

arnezuara · 2021-05-28T20:42:20+00:00

He can, he just doesn’t want to.

ENFP_Canadian · 2021-05-29T01:28:34+00:00

💯💯💯💯💯💯

Title	Walk away!
Author	aikar42
Upvotes	1614
Comments	26
Date	May 28, 2021 11:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nmw9ds/walk_away/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/walk-away.774973 https://theredarchive.com/post/774973

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