When do you expect what?

Healingirl · 2021-12-27T18:34:04+00:00

A HVM is clear with his intentions...

poppinkitty · 2021-12-27T16:24:38+00:00

"5 months in and he haven't told you that he loves you" Girl you know your answer. This man doesn't love you and I don't think he will. Guys know pretty early if they love a woman or not. He's stringing you along. Dump him. I'm sure you will find someone who won't make you question his feelings for you. Don't waste your time on him. If it ain't a hell yes it's a no.

SayNad · 2021-12-27T18:46:32+00:00

Here's the similarities between a love-bombing guy and a guy who isn't serious about you :

They don't care about YOU. They don't care how you feel, they don't care about what you have to say. They don't care what their attitude is doing to you.

They all just talk too much but ain't doing shit to support all those words. And even if they are doing some actions like gifting gifts etc. - it is all about making THEM look good instead of making you feel special.

So many excuses, so many talking in circles, so many "I can't because blah blah blah..." - again, if he talks too much, he ain't it sis.

He doesn't make YOU feel special. Replace him with a cat, a dog - hell a plank of wood and you'd have a better time.

A man who is genuinely into you will make it blatantly obvious from date one. He won't be throwing future faking, empty promises, lavish yet generic gifts unlike a love bomber, but he also will be very clear with his intentions and has it all planned out - he will respect your need to take it slowly but you will never doubt his intentions because his expressions, his body language, his attitude and actions, his consistency - basically his entire being will be blatantly obvious from the get go. You can see it, other people even the strangest stranger can see it.

If you have to ask questions, if it isn't a fuck yes, if you are feeling unsure and confused, if you need to ask strangers and strangers say "NO".

LEAVE.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-12-27T19:54:41+00:00

He didn’t introduce you to his family over the holidays? He’s not that into you. Men know fast. They lock it down when they know they want a woman.

A man who EVER makes you question his intentions isn’t the right one. I live and die by this now. Confuse me? I’m gone. Make me question your intentions? I’m gone. Make me feel so anxious I want to post on the internet for advice? I’m gone.

You deserve better.

pickadaisy · 2021-12-28T03:50:27+00:00

He doesn’t want to marry you and he already decided that long ago. A man who wants this from you wouldn’t leave you wondering.

apommom · 2021-12-27T19:13:54+00:00

He’s not serious. Leave before you invest too much time bc this isn’t going to go anywhere

Determinedblonde · 2021-12-27T16:28:25+00:00

I think the timeline from dating to commitment is good BUT if he doesn’t want a family until 35, that’s 8 YEARS, of which you might end up being a forever gf. It’s time to pin him down. A proposal after graduation? After he gets a job? You need a goal date or time so you know when to walk if he doesn’t stick by it.

melympia · 2021-12-27T20:23:24+00:00

We haven't discussed a future together either. We've lightly touched on the subject of engagement/marriage in general but it was very very vague. He seems a bit unsure about all of that

If he wanted to, he would. Ergo he doesn't want to.

Next!

Buggy1218 · 2021-12-27T16:38:06+00:00

If you’re truly marriage minded, embrace that as an expectation. Ideally if he is as well he will be the one to start that conversation, and probably within a year. Everyone’s timeline looks different but it doesn’t take that long to decide if someone is marriage material.

When the subject comes up let him lead the conversation. Maybe let him know what you expect but no ultimatums. A man who really wants to marry you will put forth the effort without you holding his hand through it or backing him into a corner.

If he isn’t up for marriage or hasn’t made up his mind in a reasonable timeframe, be prepared to move on.

For reference, my husband told me he loved me within a month of officially dating. That’s too soon for some but felt right for us. Decide for yourself. We first talked about marriage two months in, got engaged at seven months, and married on our one year anniversary.

The whole point here is that a man who really loves you will make that abundantly clear. He will make his intentions known and make this whole process easy and stress free for you. If several months into a relationship you don’t feel like this man sees a life with you- he probably doesn’t. Best of luck.

Sewud · 2021-12-28T01:42:49+00:00

He has a girlfriend and doesn't want to bring her home for the holidays? It's a no from me!

taele1996 · 2021-12-28T05:52:07+00:00

My boyfriend and I met at the end of April, he met my parents and siblings 2 weeks later, I met his family 2/3 weeks after that, went on a camping trip with his siblings and their friends 2 weeks after that where he also asked me to be his gf.

His intention was clear from the get-go so i didn’t have any thoughts about him not liking me or whether or not he was serious about me. We’ve been going strong for 6 months now because of that.

Sounds like your guy took a bit too long asking you to be his gf. 4 months? And he hasn’t told you he loves you? And he didn’t bother to introduce you to his fam over thanksgiving or Christmas? At this point you can just assume nobody knows of your existence and that’s concerning.

laylaloolah · 2021-12-28T03:14:14+00:00

A HVM is clear with his intentions and their actions should match what they say. 5 months feels way too long to not say ILY

Xenobia95 · 2021-12-28T12:41:58+00:00

New year New start, what did he get you for Xmas? Is there a kick ass new year plan if not rinse him for new year then dump his ass

Title	When do you expect what?
Author	teethnerd-
Upvotes	83
Comments	33
Date	December 27, 2021 4:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rpqu31/when_do_you_expect_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-do-you-expect-what.1090403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090403

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