Your time is valuable.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-03-17T07:21:02+00:00

The way she articulated this was beautiful.

pascalines · 2021-03-17T11:26:21+00:00

This is so true and I would add the invisible 3rd shift- the beauty shift. The first shift is paid labor, second shift unpaid domestic labor, and the third shift unpaid unacknowledged beauty labor that the world demands (shaved body hair, waxing, makeup, high maintenance hair, nails, trendy clothes). “The Beauty Myth” by Naomi Wolf really opened my eyes.

CrazyPaine · 2021-03-17T09:45:59+00:00

God this was perfect. This is actually how I feel sometimes as a black woman. I honestly truly don't have enough time ya know.

butteryrum · 2021-03-17T10:18:46+00:00

This is why I work to live, I don't live to work.

I don't get to have a fancy life right now, but I get to have a life where I can at least try to manage my stress. For now. I know things might change at any moment. Due to a chronic health issue, I had to make big changes to my life in order to take care of myself. If I had children, I would not have been able to make the choices I have.

shinyjewels · 2021-03-17T12:40:58+00:00

In med school, there are so many conversations about how to promote healthier lifestyles and habits for our patients. I get incredibly frustrated by these lectures and conversations, not because they aren’t important, but because the onus of change is on the individual when we live in a society where you have to work multiple shifts to make ends meet. You can’t talk about healthy habits without confronting work culture and time poverty in the US.

seadragon6 · 2021-03-17T12:42:00+00:00

This is beautiful and I’m so glad this is part of the feminism discussion.

I’ve also been thinking about how many conversations between women revolve in some way around oppression and prejudice against women—like when you see your girlfriends, you spend time discussing what it is to be a woman in the world because a friend has been stalked, hurt by a LVM, treated differently at work, harassed by someone at the store... it sounds like an exaggeration, but how much time are we spending just to cope with being women while men have had the luxury of being philosophers since the beginning of time? All because they don’t have to deal with this trauma?

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-17T11:05:22+00:00

This is why you should never buy into that “equal splitting” financially stuff. With men nothing is ever 50/50 because we do most of the domestic and emotional labor (cleaning, listening to their problems, etc.) , whether in the home or in the relationship itself. It also takes us more time (getting ready) and risk (assault and pregnancy) in terms of casual dating, in comparison to men.

fds_account58 · 2021-03-17T14:08:50+00:00

Yeah I remember seeing some anti-feminist guy laughing at an article by a woman about how her boyfriend sleeps so soundly and she can’t sleep and how she’s envious of his stress-free life. What an idiot. This has to be EVERY woman’s experience. Men are just in another world. They do not have the stresses and worries that we do and it shows in how relaxed they are, how easily and quickly they fall asleep, and then eventually they think we’re crazy because we all have anxiety and THEY ARE THE ONES CAUSING IT.

Throwawayrightaway28 · 2021-03-17T17:41:09+00:00

This is exactly why I'm not dating right now. Even when men foot the bill financially, the time cost is too high. You have to get dressed, that takes at least an hour, travel round trip to wherever the date is, that's an hour, then go on the date, that's anywhere from 2-6 hours. So that's possibly eight hours spent on some guy. Question: when have you last had eight free hours? To catch up on your sleep, to read, to binge Netflix, to just be without work, school, family/friend obligations? I bet you don't even remember. Why should I spend my time, which is the most precious commodity I have, on a scrote? I'd rather be at home resting or engaging in my hobbies. If I take that same eight hours and go shopping and take myself to brunch, I have time left over to nap and read.

2021-03-17T17:49:40+00:00

and this is why i'm moving to europe. i'm black, female, and mentally ill. considered so useless by american standards that the system is set up to literally KILL ME. i'm glad i finally realized that its not me who's stopping me from feeling better and making it worse, its capitalism.

Watzoo · 2021-03-17T16:11:08+00:00

Yes!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Honestly, this stuff should be taught in schools. Time poverty is truly a life threatening issue for women, and it’s often caused by an entire culture being built on their unpaid time.

masterofthebarkarts · 2021-03-17T21:22:18+00:00

Another interesting and related concept is the issue of "time pollution": time use studies often don't account for the fact that women (especially mothers) are rarely ever doing one thing at a time. Taking a work call while driving your kid to school - is that childcare or paid labour? Watching TV while you fold laundry - that's not really leisure, is it? Or even lying in bed "relaxing" - how many of us are mentally writing grocery lists or planning our workouts or children's birthday party?

Men don't do this as much - when they watch TV, they only watch TV. When they're at work, many men forget their children exist (not literally, but they aren't taking their lunch break to book dentist appointments). When they engage in childcare, they don't even try to do housework at the same time. Their time in unpolluted, and consequently much less stressful.

veruscka · 2021-03-17T10:39:19+00:00

For anyone on ig, @TheNapMinistry is a great account to follow regarding this topic!

trapolitics20 · 2021-03-17T15:01:28+00:00

So stop giving children to useless men. Pretty simple.

Title	Your time is valuable.
Author	DaisyDooDrops
Upvotes	851
Comments	31
Date	March 17, 2021 6:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m6ucdv/your_time_is_valuable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/your-time-is-valuable.767109 https://theredarchive.com/post/767109

Comments